Tired of Attracting Abusive Men? 3 Tips to Unlock The Subconscious Related- Chains


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Are you sick and tired of attracting abusive men?

You might have daddy issues. Read on!!

It is not only biologically vital but also spiritually imperative to grow up with our parents, mom and dad, or the equivalent, for us to develop and sustain positive-infused mindsets. Although overlooked, without both your parents in the picture as a child, you are bound to search for whoever was missing in the people you meet in your adult life. And that can be very frustrating.

Note that one is also impliedly psychologically and emotionally abused if their father or father figure was always absent in their younger days.

In this article, you will identify one of the problems created by not having a father figure or having an abusive one, and learn three simple techniques that will liberate you from this problem in order to develop healthier relationships with the men in your life.

The Problem:

Without a father figure in your life, you miss out on the security and comfort that a father figure provides (especially one with a healthy mind). A father is literally the first adult male you are introduced to, or is supposed to be introduced to when you are born. As such, he represents men in general and especially how men relate or should relate to women. Your father introduces you to the first standards that you believe every man should possess. If you saw your father treating your mom with respect, you tend to attract or choose men who understand how to treat a woman with respect.

If especially you witnessed your father abusing you or any other members of your family and never stopped abusing them, and/or never apologized, chances are that you have subconscious anger that’s not only directed towards your father, but all men.  The consequences are that you will continue unconsciously seeking out men with behaviors similar to your dad with hope that they might abuse you and then apologize to make up for what your father didn’t do. However, even if you attract men who are apologetic for abusing you, they will not compensate for your father’s abuse. Therefore, you will continue seeking for abusive men, over and over again until you deal with your early father-figure programming.

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The Solution:

Note that the tips I share below are not exhaustive of all the techniques and tools that you can employ to heal your early negative father-programming.

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Take time and write all your early father negative experiences, or no-father negative experiences. Be as detailed as possible. To guide you, you can answer the following questions:

  1. What exactly happened?
  2. Who was there?
  3. What did your father do, didn’t do, or should have done?
  4. In case you didn’t have a father figure as a child, how did this make you feel?
  5. How did those experiences make you feel about your father and men in general?
  6. How did these experiences make you feel about yourself?

Re-examine all the related feelings about yourself that were developed because of your earlier father/no father negative programming

Go through this simple EFT and Ho’oponopono to stop attracting abusive relationships session 

Click HERE to access the video recording.

If you want more, order the Daddy Issues Meditation CD from http://tapthegood.com/spiritualservices/

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Or buy my book (Love, Men and Money: How to Attract and Retain them) with detailed EFT and counseling scripts at www.tapthegood.com/books/ or from Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Love-Men-Money-Attract-Retain/dp/1480094897/

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Or sign up for my complimentary 30 minutes consultation session to set up counseling sessions that are guaranteed to help you take your power back from the negative past in order to live life on your terms.

Click HERE to sign up.

Dr. Jacinta Mpa, Ph.D., MBA, is a published author, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, visit www.tapthegood.com.

Subscribe to her YouTube Channel to take advantage of the complimentary counseling or coaching videos – http://www.youtube.com/user/MsJacent

Twitter – @cinta_mcinta

LinkedIn – http://www.linkedIn.com/drjacintampalyenkana/

Face book – https://www.facebook.com/tapthegood/

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The Source of Inventions: An excerpt from the Book: Do Not Force It, Tap The Good


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Inventions are available to each of us if we open up our minds to them. It is both simple and exciting. If you want to come up with a new idea or service, begin focusing entirely on everything you do. As you go about your day, if you feel uncomfortable about anything you are doing, stop. Begin thinking about ways, means, or products that would have made your activity more comfortable or enjoyable to do.

Inventions

An invention is the gap between the uncomfortable and comfortable levels. That is how cell phones were made, to bridge the gap between the discomfort of having to look for someone all over the place, and the comfort of just picking up the phone and reaching them wherever they are.

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The next thing to do is search the Internet for any similar products or services that you think can bridge the identified gap. If there are none, then you have an invention. That idea right there is what you can turn into a mega product or service. The only work for you to do is to develop the confidence in the idea and pursue it limitlessly without letting anyone or anything discourage you. Remember, if you want it bad enough, you will get it.

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Love and Light

Afraid of Public Speaking? Ask the Fear….


3a355333-24bb-41a2-b460-2209f0a067bbAs I walked down the church’s isle towards the front, I could hardly breathe. Everything within me was telling me to run, scream or call my mama for refuge. My heart beat so hard and so fast and I concluded that everyone in the church was hearing it. As I pulled my legs to establish the next step I was barely taking, I felt as if something had tied my leg and hip muscles with iron chains to prevent me from moving forward. I wanted to crawl but somehow somewhere I kept walking…call it stumbling. My eyes got teary. I could hardly see. I don’t even remember how I got to the podium. The pastor handed me the microphone which I looked at as if it were a huge machete designed to cut me into pieces. I attempted to say, “Halleluya,” only to have a big drop of saliva escape out of my mouth. 

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It was the first time I spoke in public intending to promote my first book. I failed miserably. I’m not even sure how people lined up to buy the book after my mumbled speech. This must have been the making of a dead relative who loved me, an angel or God. Who knows? I don’t. 

The Moral:

I was afraid of public speaking. This experience propelled me to join the Toastmasters International organization, and their programs helped improve my communication, and public speaking skills. 

Now as a counselor, I’ve also learned that we can question our fears. 

How it Works:

Let’s imagine that you are about to give a speech. And a bunch of butterflies visit your tummy. Your nerves recognize the “visitors” and decide to fire up. You start to tremble and your breaths get shorter. What do you do? 

Here are a few tips that will help:

1. Close your eyes and take a deep breath.

2. Ask, “How is this fear benefiting me?” Stay still and listen for a few minutes. You will discover that this fear is only there to teach you a few lessons such as:

a. You are more than this fear because it is smaller than you and you shouldn’t be afraid of it.

b. The fear is inspiring you to improve something about your communication skills, improve your self-image/confidence, be more prepared, or improve the content you are about to share. 

Beyond that, this fear does nothing beneficial for you. If you get your mind to focus on these lessons, the fear will disperse. The problem is creating more meanings or conclusions about the fear. For instance, you could decide that the fear means you are not good enough; people will laugh at you; people will judge you. Your content sucks, etc. Once the mind comes up with such perceptions to expand on the fear, just know that they are lies: illusions created without evidence. Unless you can come up with evidence that all these things are true, then it is time to ignore your mind. Note that just because the mind says you are in danger doesn’t make it so. Remember that the mind can be full of crap and if you let it take over, it will manipulate your actions, fail you and get you to blame yourself thereafter. 

“Just because the mind says you are in danger doesn’t make it so. Remember that the mind can be full of crap and if you let it take over, it will manipulate your actions, fail you and get you to blame yourself thereafter.” 

I’m sure you want to know the book I was promoting. Here you have it. 🙂

Connecting to Higher-self to Resolve Stubborn Negative Beliefs 


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When I was a teenager, I believed that I was too skinny—which was why I didn’t have boyfriends. In my 20s when I gained weight, I came up with another belief that I attracted douche-bags because I was fat. Evidently, my beliefs kept changing according to my environment. Now I know that beliefs change and as they change, so do our experiences. Whatever we believe whether we base these beliefs on facts or visions, create our realities. 
Although it also worth noting that some beliefs are so deep-rooted in our unconscious minds, and it takes more than wishful-thinking to resolve them. 
Cycle of Depression, Robert Dindinger, Ph.D
However, regardless of how dark our conditioning is, there is still a part of us that no experience can ever effect. This part of us, that’s in us, doesn’t change, has no attachments, is not affected by emotions, has no birth nor death; has no color or religion: and it is not male or female. This part of us is also known as our higher-self. And once we connect to “it” we get to resolve the attachments and conditions that our human-identities have created. 
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In this guided meditation, I use the “Mind Movie Screen” technique to connect to Higher-self and then resolve negative beliefs, the related negative emotions, and the attachments. 
Practice this meditation whenever you feel attached to, and/or affected by any experience or condition. 
Love and light

Powerful Prayer to Cleanse and Purify Bloodlines


all-in-one-12-universal-laws-dominique-hurleySometimes whatever you are dealing with might not even be yours. Your bloodlines could be affected by stuff intended to distort your progress in life.

In this guided meditation, discover a bit of who you are, connect to the divine power within you, amplify the God-force within and let your words cleanse and purify your bloodline.

Love and light

 

http://www.tapthegood.com

How to Communicate Without Creating Conflict:


ConflictTo communicate to others about our concerns without creating conflict requires skill. To begin, sometimes the pressing concerns might be perceptions of how someone or others might have offended us. We might base the concerns on one’s reckless behavior; one who probably didn’t pay attention to what they were saying. However, we have to remember that at some point we also offended others unintentionally. 

Note that we base our communication style on who we are, our thought patterns, and emotional states. A happy person will communicate in happy terms. An angry or sad person will communicate in a way that reflects those states. So, sometimes someone might communicate rudely because they are dealing with inner discomforts. When we point out what they did and how wrong they were, we create scenarios that can inspire them to fight back. They perceive us as enemies because we’ve triggered their “fight” sense. We have focused on what we believe is wrong about them: which creates more of the same behavior—considering that energy flows where the focus is. We are also focusing on them, and not on ourselves. We are resisting their behavior, which creates more of it. It is like opening a tin of worms. 

The question then is, how can we communicate our concerns without creating conflict? 

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Let’s imagine that your boss screamed at you for something you didn’t do. To address your concerns, you say: “You screamed at me for something I didn’t do, and that makes you a very rude person.” When we evaluate the meaning of this statement, it’s clear you are apportioning blame, you have made conclusions about their character, and you have told them what you don’t want. Let’s imagine that you are the boss, how would those statements make you feel? How would you react or respond to your employee? Although you might concur that you were wrong, the way he/she communicated could trigger feelings of anger or defensiveness within you. Note that a relationship based on blame crumbles more often than not. 

How Can we Improve?

Instead of, “You screamed at me for something I didn’t do, and that makes you a very rude person.” Consider, “When you screamed at me, I felt uneasy. I request that you tell me what you want or mean.” With the preceding statement, you haven’t made conclusions about their character, you haven’t blamed them, and you are making a request—which makes them feel important. You are also telling them what you want—which directs their attention from themselves to you. 

When we communicate in terms of what we want, we help others understand what we want. We also avoid arguments. The idea is to be persistent in communicating in those terms. Because some people won’t get it immediately. They might be so accustomed to communicating in terms of what they don’t want and will not relate to your communication style. However, the more you stick to your positive communication trends, the sooner they will learn or at least mirror you. 

In my book, Communicating Your Way to Success: Master the Art of Persuasion and Become the Authority of Your Craft, I share simple, proven tools of how to influence others to do what you want without taking away from what they want. 

http://www.tapthegood.com

What are Challenges?


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When you are experiencing challenges ask yourself:

  1. Who is the experiencer of these challenges?
  2. Why is this experiencer experiencing these events as challenges?
  3. How did the experiencer come to a conclusion that these events are challenges?
  4. Is this experiencer perceiving these events from a place of fear or faith?
  5. And most importantly, ask, does the experiencer really have to experience these events at all?
  6. What can happen if this experiencer retracts their attention from what they perceive as challenges and instead focus on something more pleasant?

As you dwell on the answers of these questions you start discovering that what you perceive as challenges are simply events that need your attention to resolve or ignore—especially if you can’t do anything about them. From these mental and emotional states, you free yourself from the discomforting consequences of your perception.

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

The Story of two Roads- A Powerful Inspirational Story


Once the storm is over

When faced challenges, remember that challenges are opportunities. Problems and challenges are man’s means to earn a living. Note that all businesses are founded on providing solutions for problems that someone once had.

The more someone designs solutions for problems, the wealthier they become. Therefore, challenges are intended to be turned into opportunities to become more of ourselves by shedding off the layers of fear and other negative conditioning in order to perceive life differently. Whatever challenge you are experiencing today, know that it is not a waste. These challenges are anointing you with the skills to overcome them. And after this storm is over you will not be the same. You will be stronger and wiser—which is something amazing to look forward to. 

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With that said, if you haven’t read, Do Not Force it, Tap the Good, ( Link to the book – https://www.amazon.com/Do-not-Force-T…) it’s time.

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

A Lazy man’s Way to a Stress-free Life: 10 Tools to Keep Off Stress


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Negative experiences often leave us stressed and worn out. During such times, I find it challenging to refer to any advice about how to keep off the stress. Yet I know I have to dust it off, get my lazy butt off the ground and keep moving forward. How I get up when I feel so overwhelmingly lazy and beaten up by circumstances, is another story.  

If you’ve been stressed and so lazy to give a crap about how to snap out of it, welcome to my club. I’m certain that my 10 tips to keep off stress will do just that…get your lazy stressed, beautiful behind off the ground and propel you to move forward. 

Below, are 10 things I do when I feel stressed and lazy.  I know they will help you. 

  1. Breathe. Just stop often and take long, deep breaths.
  2. Meditate (Listen to this recording for the simple meditation techniques)
  3. Eat raw food as long as it is edible. This is easy because it will save you all the trouble involved in cooking. And the benefits…..magic.
  4. Drink a lot of water. This is an inexpensive and easy way to keep hydrated. The benefits are abundant.
  5. Have long baths
  6. Go for a walk. Note that a walk is easier than a run or weight lifting. So, it should be easy to do. Right?
  7. Listen to music. Suggestion: Listen to soothing and positive music. 
  8. Avoid friendships that way you down.
  9. Set simple, short goals. Don’t overwhelm your to-do list with tasks. Keep it simple. Besides, you are so lazy to add more crap to your plate.
  10. Sleep. Just sleep as much as you can. This will rejuvenate you.

These tips are simple, yet they can help one deal with stress. For details, click on this video and listen.

 Much love, friend. 

http://www.tapthegood.com

https://www.amazon.com/Jacent-M-Mpalyenkana/e/B00JE12ELO