Daddy issues will not discriminate against you whether you are a man or woman, and/or the choice of your sexuality. Implying that, as a child if your father wasn’t the man you expected or wanted him to be, this is going to affect your adult relationships. Note that your father’s behavior whatever it was, has determined your beliefs about men in general. The relationship you had or didn’t have with your father is the foundation upon which you know how to relate with your partner(s), and other people.
In these EFT series I will be using EFT (The Emotional Freedom Technique) to help you to resolve conflicts and negative stories reflecting on your father.
Please remember to go through this session for at least 14 days for it to be effective.
It is not only biologically vital but also spiritually imperative to grow up with our parents, mom and dad, or the equivalent, for us to develop and sustain positive-infused mindsets. Although overlooked, without both your parents in the picture as a child, you are bound to search for whoever was missing in the people you meet in your adult life. And that can be very frustrating.
Note that one is also impliedly psychologically and emotionally abused if their father or father figure was always absent in their younger days.
In this article, you will identify one of the problems created by not having a father figure or having an abusive one, and learn three simple techniques that will liberate you from this problem in order to develop healthier relationships with the men in your life.
Without a father figure in your life, you miss out on the security and comfort that a father figure provides (especially one with a healthy mind). A father is literally the first adult male you are introduced to, or is supposed to be introduced to when you are born. As such, he represents men in general and especially how men relate or should relate to women. Your father introduces you to the first standards that you believe every man should possess. If you saw your father treating your mom with respect, you tend to attract or choose men who understand how to treat a woman with respect.
If especially you witnessed your father abusing you or any other members of your family and never stopped abusing them, and/or never apologized, chances are that you have subconscious anger that’s not only directed towards your father, but all men. The consequences are that you will continue unconsciously seeking out men with behaviors similar to your dad with hope that they might abuse you and then apologize to make up for what your father didn’t do. However, even if you attract men who are apologetic for abusing you, they will not compensate for your father’s abuse. Therefore, you will continue seeking for abusive men, over and over again until you deal with your early father-figure programming.
Or sign up for my complimentary 30 minutes consultation session to set up counseling sessions that are guaranteed to help you take your power back from the negative past in order to live life on your terms.
Inventions are available to each of us if we open up our minds to them. It is both simple and exciting. If you want to come up with a new idea or service, begin focusing entirely on everything you do. As you go about your day, if you feel uncomfortable about anything you are doing, stop. Begin thinking about ways, means, or products that would have made your activity more comfortable or enjoyable to do.
An invention is the gap between the uncomfortable and comfortable levels. That is how cell phones were made, to bridge the gap between the discomfort of having to look for someone all over the place, and the comfort of just picking up the phone and reaching them wherever they are.
The next thing to do is search the Internet for any similar products or services that you think can bridge the identified gap. If there are none, then you have an invention. That idea right there is what you can turn into a mega product or service. The only work for you to do is to develop the confidence in the idea and pursue it limitlessly without letting anyone or anything discourage you. Remember, if you want it bad enough, you will get it.
So, there you are feeling confused and probably uninspired. You might feel as if you are stuck in a mental or emotional box and have no clue about how to get out or move on. It could be that you have to make a decision and you don’t know the right decision to make. So, what do you do? How do you snap out of it?
Close right eyes and look for the confusion in your mind. Find out what it looks like, its shape, color, and whether it is mobile or static. How far is this confusion from you?
If you did the exercise right you will discover that whatever you came up with to represent the confusion was just your imagination. You imagined it into existence. You made it up. If you are lucky and came up with nothing, then you also discovered that confusion is just a thought–a believed thought that you have decided to title, confusion. Just because you don’t know what to do yet, doesn’t brand you confused.
Do not believe your thoughts. Observe the “confusion” as something separate from you. Know that it is not you. And you don’t owe it your attention. Don’t fight to let it go. Let it be but deny it your perception or interpretation; just let it float in your consciousness and if you stand your ground without mentally moving to join it, it will dissolve into obvium.
Remember that you are the one who is always aware of things, situations and thoughts. And you can remain as the awareness.
In the Book of Numbers you will read, “In that day there were giants in the land; and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers. And we were in their sight as grasshoppers.” This doesn’t mean a time in the past when man had the stature of giants. It means that if today your conditions seem to have attained the appearance of giants (such as unemployment, loneliness and all other things that seem to threaten you) those are the giants that make you feel yourself to be a grasshopper. But you are told in the Verse, you were first, in your own sight a grasshopper and because of this you were to the giants, a grasshopper. In other words, you can only be to others what you are first to yourself. If you believe that your problems are gigantic to you, then that is exactly how you will experience them. If you believe that you are a giant to your problems, they will metaphysically take on the sense of grasshoppers.
There is also more to experience than what you believe yourself to be. Sometimes you could religiously believe to be something, but if there’s any part of you that is in conflict with your belief, you will not project the belief in its virgin sense.
So, during this “worldly” season of love, aka Valentines, if you are searching for love , love yourself abundantly, be a loving nonjudgmental person to yourself, and the same will be reflected in your experiences. Go further into identifying all negative beliefs you have about your identity, and find a way to release them from your subconscious. Take your permission back from whatever negative prompters you gave it to–to manifest as loneliness or loveless-ness. Release the need for love and instead feel the love that you are already are. Love yourself to the extent of being 100% honest with yourself. Identify what you need to let go, who you need to forgive, the guilt you have to release, and everything else that doesn’t represent the presence of God, the presence of good, within you.
If you want to take it a notch further, get this BOOK and command your God-sense to set you free from all bondage.
“Do you really love yourself?” asked my mother a few months ago. “Of course I do. How can you even ask such a question?” I responded. However, while alone I re-evaluated her question. Did I really truly love myself?
She asked me that question because I was complaining about a racism experience I had gone through. She urged me to focus on what was important…myself. But I didn’t really get it. I felt the need to blame the people who had racially harassed me. I felt entitled to continue pointing out the wrong they had done. And although what they had done wasn’t positive, I was doing more harm to myself. I was so focused on what was wrong, what had happened in the past and how bad these people had been to me. I put my attention on what hadn’t worked and continued to re-live it even when it had happened in the past. I hurt every day. I was literally carrying emotional baggage that was weighing me down. It struck me then that I wasn’t loving myself.
So, what negative experiences/stories are you carrying around? Are you 100% focused on yourself, or you are so busy focusing on your past ? What do you focus on most of the day? What do you think about? Are your thoughts energizing or weakening? When is the last time you did something good for yourself without feeling guilty? And I am not referring to doing something nice to your car or house, impressing your boss or loved ones.
I am referring to more intimate things such as, taking a nap, listening to your favorite music without doing anything else, stretching, doing yoga, eating right, drinking 8 glasses of water daily, meditating, going for a walk, going for a random ride, closing your eyes and doing nothing, forgiving yourself and others, having a long bath, taking time to scrub your body with a beautiful body scrub (whether you are man or woman), reading a self-help book, focusing on finding out who is the one behind those beautiful eyes of yours.
Do you really love yourself? What do you allow into your mind? Who do you allow into your space? What are your inner conversations about yourself? How do you feel about yourself?
Don’t wait for Valentine’s day to love yourself, express this love to others or long to attract love. When you love yourself unconditionally and consistently, you never have to search or expect others to love you. You will know once and for all that you are enough. And most importantly, with unconditional self-love you will project the same in your experiences.
In Exodus 7:1, it is written, “And the Lord said unto Moses, See, I have made thee a god to Pharaoh.” What does this mean? How can this verse impact or change your experiences? Can such seemingly simple words set you free from any or all bondage?
To begin, if you don’t believe in God, or know that there is a power bigger than you, then this short article will mean nothing to you.
Note that God, is just a name we use to identify and refer to the Creator, the Divine power behind everything we see, don’t see and are yet to see. However, the name God, doesn’t necessarily represent the entirety of what God really is.
What God is not, is religion, a man in the sky or the father of just one child, Jesus. God is our “Father,” all of us. We are all “His” creations.
“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. ” ~ Hebrews 3:4
Based on the preceding biblical verse, in my limited understanding, , God is everything, in everything, as everything. God is all there is. What creates the seeming differences in things and in human beings, is our perceptions, choices, decisions and egoistical programming–all inspired by our egoistical minds.
Luckily, God made us gods to Pharaoh. Meaning that, we are supreme to our challenges, obstacles, adversaries, and everything else that we have given our power to bring us down. We have the power to overcome all our problems because God gave us the authority to resolve and overcome all challenges.
The problem is that we don’t know who, or what we are in God. And this is because we have believed to be what we are not. We think we are our bodies, identities and what we have. We have given our God-given power to things and people to use against us. The question is, how do we set our selves free from our self-inflicted prisons?
We can begin by remembering that we are not our “seeming bondages.” We are children of God. We are one with God…extensions of God, and sparks of God “Itself.” We have to take our God-given power back from whatever we have given our permission to hold us back.
The Merriam Webster dictionary, has several meanings for the word authenticity. However, I have chosen to use the two below.
~ ” Not false or imitation, real or actual.
~ “True to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.”
Further explained, authenticity implies that one is comfortable in their own skin. They know they are enough, and they believe they have enough for themselves.
One thing I have realized is how the egoistical mind presents fear in our minds, that when given attention to, renders us afraid of ourselves. We start doubting ourselves. We create and cement delusional, unsupported conclusions that we are not good enough; we can’t shine as we are; we need to be like other people; we need to copy what other people are doing, or being, and then behave likewise. However, we forget the power of authenticity. There are many benefits of being authentic, including the following:
Self-confidence: You know that you don’t have to try so hard to be someone else and this gives you the confidence to be you.
Emotional wellness: You are less stressed because you are not trying to keep up with what other people are doing, or being. You are okay as you are, and only seek to improve yourself.
Originality: Being original is attractive and beautiful. It presents a fresh, unique perspective on life. People tend to be more drawn to you.
Creativity: It is easier to be more creative when you are true to yourself.
A chance to attract authentic relationships: Since you attract who you are, there is certainty that you will attract more authentic people, who will also accept you as you are.
Success: If you are in business and doing you, chances are that you will succeed because you won’t be trying to steal other people’s ideas. And even when you get ideas from other business people, you include your own spin because you know that you are an important ingredient in your business strategies. You don’t wanna leave your uniqueness out of anything you offer.
“Being authentic is positioning yourself on a powerful and strong foundation to rule your world.” ~ Dr. Jacent Mpalyenkana-Murray, PHD. MBA
Being authentic means being free of the fear of being yourself. And even when you are afraid, you don’t let the fear stop you. The good news is that we are all created with inner abundant inexhaustible resources designed to support us in all our endeavors. Even when we feel less of who we are, or afraid to be who we authentically are, we are still enough. We have wonderful powers such as, the power of choice, attention, focus, dedication, perseverance, gratitude, influence, belief, love–to mention but a few. All we have to do is let go of whatever is shadowing our inner resources. We have to let go of fear, doubt, negative memories, and the like. We have to use our power of attention on ourselves. We have to believe that we are enough, regardless of what we have experienced.
Now, are you less of this fear? Are you authentic in all your endeavors? If not, what is preventing you?
In my book, Power-Prayers For personal freedom, you will get to command your subconscious mind to release all negative prompters that bind you to your self-inflicted imprisonment.
It is easy to consider all our thoughts as our friends, because we have been with them for so long. However, much as some of these thoughts are either positive guides, creative ideas or progressing memories, there are others that appear in our consciousnesses with intent to bring us down.
The question is, how do you know which thoughts to trust? Some thoughts might be negative but guiding. How would you differentiate between thoughts that are positive and those that are disempowering? Furthermore, do you really need thoughts to survive? How often do you take action that is being guided by thoughts? To simplify, do you ever think about something at the very moment you are doing it? For the most part, you might be doing something and thinking about something else–the past or the future. For example, do you ever drive, if you drive, thinking, “Oh now I am stepping on my breaks. Now I am engaging another gear. Now, I am stopping….etc..” You get the point.
Note that our actions are retrieved from our memories. Our behaviors are retrieved from our subconscious minds. The conscious mind, which is also the doorway to thoughts is used to experience and express whatever is already in the subconscious. So, you realize that your consciousness doesn’t really require you to think, because you already have the programs and memories you need to operate. And if you need to replace these programs, this is when you think of new ways to improve them. This also implies that you don’t need to think to live. But you need to be alive in order to think. You don’t need to think to be. But you need to be in order to think. You don’t need to think to be conscious. But you need to be conscious in order to think. So, you come before your thoughts. Your thoughts can’t exist without you: meaning that you are superior.
Do you know that you even if you felt stuck and didn’t know what to do, you wouldn’t really need to think about it? The more peaceful way is to be thoughtless, empty, which is when your inner guidance will reveal your next course of action. And although this might come in a form of a thought, it will have an energy of purposefulness and inspiration about it.
Going back to the question in the title; Do you trust your thoughts or yourself? My conclusion is, I trust myself first, then my thoughts. What are your views?
“Do we really have free-will?” That was one of the questions we had to answer in my Metaphysics PhD, class. Exciting question, isn’t it?
I began my presentation for the above question, by firmly opposing the notion that we have free will. “No we don’t have free-will.” I urged. “Prove it” responded the professor. I mumbled my way through the discussion and guess what? I failed. The professor directed me back to the notes he had given us regarding the subject, which proposed that we had free-will. In order to pass the paper, I had to borrow his concepts, build on them and then submit the paper. And although I was never convinced by his supporting evidence that we, in our limited expression as humans, have free-will, I surrendered to his will, because I wanted to pass my examinations and get going with my life.
Free will isthe power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one’s own discretion.
The above definition illustrates that free-will is the power to act on one’s own discretion. However, do you really always act on your own discretion?
To elaborate on this argument further, ask, what is discretion?
Discretion is the freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation.
Do you have the freedom to decide what you should do, how you should act, think or behave? Isn’t it true that sometimes you make decisions, not because you are free to make those particular decisions but because your options are limited. Are your decisions authentic to you? How many times have you bought something and later realized that you didn’t really need it? Have you ever wondered how you made the decision? Do you really think that your free-will to buy the item was pure and authentic to you?
Over the years, it is has dawned on me that we don’t necessarily have “free-will,” in our limited expressions as humans. Our will is not our own. It is for our identities and personalities–also founded on our programming. We will, and act not based on our authentic selves but on all the programing that we have accepted as our truth. Other times, we submit to the will of others because that’s one way that we could get what we want. (Refer to the story in this article. I had to submit to the will of my professor in order to pass the paper. Therefore, my free will intimidated by an external factor.)
Therefore, I have concluded that the only true free will we have, is the will of God. Due to the fact that God is a constant, never changing or changeable, nothing can corrupt or influence his will, except when we choose to live by our limited will. Yes, God gave us free-will but the only way we can really purify it, is to let it dissolve and be consumed by the will of God.
I am posing the same question to you: What are your thoughts on free-will? Do you have free-will? Is your free-will authentic and pure to you? Do you always act in congruent with what you really need…what will elevate your wellbeing or improve your life? What does free-will mean to you?
In my latest book, Power-Prayers for Personal freedom, you will access powerful prayers written in a way that will trigger a deeper sense of vulnerability to yourself, and then to God, within you. As you say the prayers, you will realize just how much your free-will has been corrupted, and how your life’s experiences are influenced by stuff that was handed down to you–either by your parents or the environment.
Get your copy today. Get started on achieving your freedom to live life in your authentic way.
“All definitions confine the defined, to themselves.”
This quotation implies that things are confined to what they are defined to be. For instance, money is a term used to define coins and bank notes that reflect on the value they hold. If these coins and bank notes were termed differently, the term would reflect the same projection. This also implies that every definition, term or name, has a vibration or hidden indication behind it.
I have a brother named Lucky. And Lucky, is extremely Lucky. You get the point, right.
The questions are; what is your name? What does it mean? How did they come up with that name? Where did it come from? Do you know how it impacts your life?
Note that every time your name is called, it decrees the vibration and meaning behind it. If your name is say, Diamond, believe it that every time someone calls your name, they affirm that you are a diamond whether they know it or not. Names, just like definitions, are affirmations. Names have hidden powerful indications and reflections of something more mysterious and deeper than the names themselves.
Think about the name, Jesus. Everyone knows that it has power. And this is because of who owned it, how he lived his life and what his life meant to the world.
Therefore, it is important to cleanse your name of all negativity in whatever form it might exist, so that it doesn’t affect your life.
There are several interpretations of the word, discipline. But the discipline, I am referring to could mean one, or all of the definitions below.
~ Orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior
~ Self control
Discipline, can also be practiced in two conflicting ways. One way, is when we get so disciplined to focus on what we don’t want, what’s not working, what’s wrong, what went wrong, or what could go wrong. We get our minds to focus on the opposite of what we want.
The second way, is when we get so disciplined to focus on what we want, what we have, what we are grateful for, what’s working and what’s good in our lives.
It is easier said than done to focus on what you want when what you don’t want continues to show up in your experiences. But you have what it takes, which is your discipline, and your attention, to focus on what you have or want.
The mind has a way of convincing us that it is important to focus on what’s wrong because that’s the only way that we can rectify it. But, this is just a delusional conviction. We have to consistently remind ourselves that we are not our thoughts. We are not our minds. And we can use them to do as we please. We have to remember that we are in charge, and that nothing we own should attempt to deceive us that it is greater than us. We also have to remember that even when problems or challenges appear in our lives, they came. And what comes must go. We are still supreme. We are, before anything else is, in our world.
~ As this year begins, it is vital to ask ourselves how we’ve been using our discipline.
~ Are we using 100% of our discipline to focus on what’s positive in our lives?
~ Are we doing everything we can to move from where we are to where we want to be?
~ Are we disciplined enough to examine our thinking patterns?
~ Are we really FREE to choose what to focus on?
~ Are we disciplined enough to know that our personal relationships with God within us, are the most important relationships in creation?
In the interim, I wish you all a happy New Year, 2021. May God, Creator of this universe continue reminding us that we are, because “He” is. And that “He” is all there is.