Daddy issues will not discriminate against you whether you are a man or woman, and/or the choice of your sexuality. Implying that, as a child if your father wasn’t the man you expected or wanted him to be, this is going to affect your adult relationships. Note that your father’s behavior whatever it was, has determined your beliefs about men in general. The relationship you had or didn’t have with your father is the foundation upon which you know how to relate with your partner(s), and other people.
In these EFT series I will be using EFT (The Emotional Freedom Technique) to help you to resolve conflicts and negative stories reflecting on your father.
Please remember to go through this session for at least 14 days for it to be effective.
It is not only biologically vital but also spiritually imperative to grow up with our parents, mom and dad, or the equivalent, for us to develop and sustain positive-infused mindsets. Although overlooked, without both your parents in the picture as a child, you are bound to search for whoever was missing in the people you meet in your adult life. And that can be very frustrating.
Note that one is also impliedly psychologically and emotionally abused if their father or father figure was always absent in their younger days.
In this article, you will identify one of the problems created by not having a father figure or having an abusive one, and learn three simple techniques that will liberate you from this problem in order to develop healthier relationships with the men in your life.
Without a father figure in your life, you miss out on the security and comfort that a father figure provides (especially one with a healthy mind). A father is literally the first adult male you are introduced to, or is supposed to be introduced to when you are born. As such, he represents men in general and especially how men relate or should relate to women. Your father introduces you to the first standards that you believe every man should possess. If you saw your father treating your mom with respect, you tend to attract or choose men who understand how to treat a woman with respect.
If especially you witnessed your father abusing you or any other members of your family and never stopped abusing them, and/or never apologized, chances are that you have subconscious anger that’s not only directed towards your father, but all men. The consequences are that you will continue unconsciously seeking out men with behaviors similar to your dad with hope that they might abuse you and then apologize to make up for what your father didn’t do. However, even if you attract men who are apologetic for abusing you, they will not compensate for your father’s abuse. Therefore, you will continue seeking for abusive men, over and over again until you deal with your early father-figure programming.
Or sign up for my complimentary 30 minutes consultation session to set up counseling sessions that are guaranteed to help you take your power back from the negative past in order to live life on your terms.
Inventions are available to each of us if we open up our minds to them. It is both simple and exciting. If you want to come up with a new idea or service, begin focusing entirely on everything you do. As you go about your day, if you feel uncomfortable about anything you are doing, stop. Begin thinking about ways, means, or products that would have made your activity more comfortable or enjoyable to do.
An invention is the gap between the uncomfortable and comfortable levels. That is how cell phones were made, to bridge the gap between the discomfort of having to look for someone all over the place, and the comfort of just picking up the phone and reaching them wherever they are.
The next thing to do is search the Internet for any similar products or services that you think can bridge the identified gap. If there are none, then you have an invention. That idea right there is what you can turn into a mega product or service. The only work for you to do is to develop the confidence in the idea and pursue it limitlessly without letting anyone or anything discourage you. Remember, if you want it bad enough, you will get it.
Over the years, there are a few people who have me hurt me beyond words. And I’m sure you can relate.
My stepmother did something to me that negatively impacted my life in ways I can’t even explain. For years, I cried day and night wondering why she could hurt someone’s child to that extent, moreover she has her own kids. I tried so hard to understand why God was so silent while I pleaded with Him to rescue me from the pain and negative consequences that her actions had created in my life, in vain.
Something else I held onto for years was the racism I experienced at a workplace, and from people I met in different organizations. Misfortune seemed to follow me around. Then, the discriminative tendencies from my in-laws, who treated me like I was less of a human being because I am black, almost rendered me insane. These things hurt me so much that I moved around with a heavy heart, sad, disoriented, and discouraged about life.
Some friends I had inspired so much when they were down and people I had supported when no one was there for them decided that betrayal was my best reward. And I am sure you can relate.
I was so determined to heal my life because it hurt. One day, I met my spiritual teacher, who literally rescued me from the brewing pain that I was actively fertilizing in my heart. Without even knowing what I was going through, he told me something that snapped me out of the self-inflicted pain.
“Jacinta, there is no God in the sky coming to rescue you. God is in you. God is your life. God is your heartbeat, God is your breath. So do yourself a favor and release everything in your heart so that you can feel God.”
Despite having a doctorate in counseling, it hadn’t occurred to me that I was the one responsible for the pain I felt. All the people I had perceived as “hurters” were doing themselves. It was their business. They were expressing themselves. That is the programming they had. It had nothing to do with me. My business was to keep my heart clear from all perceptions and judgements about people and experiences. And that I have the power to live life on my terms. “Release your heart to God….to the universe, because “He” is the real deal and the only deal.” My teacher explained.
Are you hurting because someone acted in ways that hurt you? Release the pain and give your heart to whom it belongs to…God. Say, “Dear God, help me forgive myself, and everyone whom I have perceived as a hurter. Help me release my heart wholeheartedly to you.” Say this prayer repeatedly and watch how the universe works. When you stand down, the universe, God, reveals fully as your supreme support, not that “It” wasn’t your support before you recognized this truth. Because God is your support, with or without your recognition. But when you consciously acknowledge that God is all there is, peace becomes your perfume.
I am sharing this personal story, hoping it can inspire someone out there.
Faith is under-related, at least in my experience. It is easier said than done to have unwavering faith when your world seems as if it is tipped over and at the verge of crashing. Doubt creeps in like a thief in the night without warning and promotes all sorts of fears, to reason you out of generating the faith you need to transcend whatever challenge is at hand.
Often, I am faced with challenges that render me speechless. Times when I don’t know what to say or do. And much as I know that faith is available for me to dwell on, for some weird reason I allow the doubt to take over. And the moment this happens the ego steps in and delivers thoughts that weaken me even further. And the more I believe these thoughts, the more I feel defeated. But when I realize that everything is just happening in my mind, I snap my attention away from these energy sucking thoughts and then focus on my self. And by self, I mean the incorruptible part of me that can not be affected by anything known or unknown. This “place” is a “space-less space” of bliss, unwavering faith, actually beyond faith, with perfumes of unconditional love and unexplainable peace. Then, only then is doubt permanently dissolved. To reiterate, I refer to this place as a “space-less space” because it is beyond space. It is uncontainable, indefinable, imageless, and infinite.
Every soul “CAN’ transcend anything and everything: and that “CAN” is God. ~Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana-Murray, PhD, MBA
We are all always looking for answers for the many questions that life throws at us. These questions are normally brewed from the obstacles, problems or challenges that we face. And our first instinct, at least mine, is to examine what skills or information I have to solve the problem at hand. However, more times than once, I find myself stuck, with no sense of direction. But I have come to realize that the one I know, which is Jacinta is not the answer to anything in my life.
Let me explain. My name is Jacinta; a name given to my identity. But in reality that is not my name. I am nameless. I am, is my original name. I am is your name also. I am, comes before our names: also meaning that it comes before our identities.
The name given to you at birth is the name of your identity, image or personhood. It represents what is seen about you. But what is not seen about you is the real deal. It is the soul, supported by the spirit of God. It is pure awareness. And that’s where all the answers come from. That is the foundation of our existence, support system and life. Your awareness, is you and you are also the witness of this awareness. You are infinite…just like God is. Because you are a part of God. Remember, God is infinite, and it would be extremely arrogant to believe that we are not part of this infinity. Note that infinity, incorporates everything that is finite.
Once we know who we truly are, extensions, children, or branches of the God-source, then we don’t have to worry our egoistical minds so much to find answers. We understand that the source of the solutions we seek is not from our identities. It is in the part of us that can not be seen by physical eyes, or understood by our minds. We learn to relax in who we are. We learn to let go, and let God.
“Suffering is an inner game we create by our power of choice.” Dr. Jacent M Mpalyenkana, PhD, MBA.
Yes, yes, I know. It doesn’t sound fair, does it? I understand because I have gone through it all. And occasionally I choose to suffer. Because I believe the lie that suffering as an emotion is stronger than me. But then I remember what one of my many mentors told me: “Emotions are not facts.” They are psychological energetic manifestations that we create for different reasons.
The point is, we mistake hurt for suffering. You could be physically, mentally, or emotionally hurt. But suffering is an extension of the hurt in whichever ways the later manifests. Suffering is also perception. You conceive a situation, define it and then perceive it according to your programming. This also implies that you use your power of choice to choose how to perceive the situation. And you can perceive the same situation differently if you re-choose.
I have been in relationships with people who were very abusive: mentally, racially, emotionally and even physically. The more I related with these people, the more I got hurt. And the more I got hurt, the more I concluded that I was suffering. No one said that when you get hurt, you also must suffer. It was my personal inner game. I choose to expand on the hurt and define it as suffering.
I also know people who are addicted to suffering. They position themselves in situations that promote immerse emotional pain, which the egoistical mind uses to convince them that they are indeed suffering. These people seem to enjoy complaining about what is wrong more than taking the required actions to change their situations.
To be fair, let’s consider people who might experience unfavorable conditions, such as diseases that render them bedridden, those in prison, death of the loved ones, etc. Even then, the human soul has what it takes to isolate itself from the egoistical mind’s cruel manifestations, and focus on the positive. We see this at work in people such as Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned for 27 years but forgave his oppressors and chose peace over righteousness, or Steve Wander, who didn’t let his blindness shadow his musical gifts. The list is endless. These people have the same blood as we do. They breathe the same oxygen as we do, and live on the same planet as we do. The only difference between us and them is how they use their power of choice.
It doesn’t matter what you are experiencing today, know that there is a part of you that is unchangeable and uncorruptible by anything in your external and inner worlds. Regardless of how emotionally or physically painful your situation might be, you can choose not to suffer. You can be still and know that everything changes except the invisible part of you that dwells in your body: the very spirit of God, which is the only presence and everlasting truth..which is also the real you. This calls for us to discover who we truly are. Because when we know that we are not our bodies or identities, then we stop believing the constraining suggestions of the egoistical mind.
When we experience negative conditions for extended periods of time, our psychological minds accept the conditions as the truth. When we decide to release these conditions from our subconscious minds where they log as prompters upon which we project the world, we meet resistance. Consequently, we self-sabotage; and this is inevitable until we release it.
Therefore, the first step towards liberating our subconscious minds from negative prompters is to denounce and release all resistance to healing. In this session, you will denounce, release, and take your power back from all resistance to healing that could be logging in your subconscious mind and in all energies and systems in your body.
To get into the extended, detailed version of this session, get the book, Command: 21 Days of Affirmative Prayer and Counseling, Using the Mirror Method to Cleanse Your Subconscious Mind and Command Your Life Back to Divine Order.
When we speak with faith and kindness to ourselves, we give ourselves much more than just the words. Denouncing something is like cutting off its influence in your life. You are disengaging its manifestations and disowning it. And with faith, plus the help of the spirit of God within you, healing takes place.
Isaiah 54:17 “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.”
My interpretation of this verse is that God confirms and reminds us of the presence of “His” power in us. It is in our heritage as long as we recognize it; as long as we know who we are in the Lord, His children, and extensions of Him. With this truth in our hearts, also firmly embedded in our souls, we understand and live by the law that no weapon, regardless of its intensity, origin, or intention, can prosper in our lives. This also means that we are more, above and beyond all satanic and devilish weapons against us. Also, the Divine will help us denounce all judgment, negative intentions, and false condemnations intended to rise against us.
And the hidden mystery about these facts is that the invisible part of us, the force that enables our hearts to beat, is God Himself. So we do not have to look away from ourselves to activate and use this power.
Get the book. COMMAND, today and start taking charge of your life.
“It will never be okay; because it always is as soon as you perceive it that way.” ~ Dr. Jacent Mpalyenkana-Murray
When we go through experiences we perceive as challenges, we always hope that they turn out to be okay, sooner than later. However, because perception is projection, we perceive things as we are and not as they are. This brought me to the conclusion that everything is always okay when we perceive it as okay. However, how do we project situations as okay when we are projecting from an inner world filled with negativity?
Let me use the scenario of an image in a mirror. If you want the image in the mirror to change, you don’t break the mirror: you change the image. Equally, if you want your experiences to change, cleanse your subconscious mind, which is the storage of your projections, and then instill new positive prompters or programs based upon which you will perceive the world.
Well, I have a power-filled resource for you. In my newest book, Command: 21 Days of Counseling and Affirmative Prayers to Cleanse Your Subconscious Mind and Command Your Life back to Divine Order, you will get to do a thorough cleanse of your subconscious mind and then instill new positive and powerful prompters upon which the projections of your experiences will be based.
Remember, change is movement; change is action. If you want anything to change, move…. act.
Get YOUR COPY OF COMMAND, TODAY AND CHANGE YOUR EXPERIENCES INTO MORE CELEBRITORY ENCOUNTERS.
“The conversations you have with yourself should be rich and positive enough to transcend and dispel the ever brewing negativity in your external world” ~ Dr. Jacent Mpalyenkana-Murray, PhD. MBA.
Conversations are either silent or spoken out loud, but regardless of their nature they manifest their like.
What conversations do you have with yourself about you, other people, life and the world in general? Do you pay attention to what is going on in your mind? How are these conversations created?
“As within so without”
I have had to hear this quote thousands of times before I could take it on as true. I used to look at the outer world for answers. At one time, I blamed everyone and everything for my negative experiences, and left myself out as a cause to my suffering.
Consequently, I never took responsibility for my experiences. I literally surrendered my power to blame. The more I blamed, the more I blamed. And nothing good came out of blaming other people or things. I had to stop and examine how I could snap myself out of that insanity. And I discovered that the conversations we have with ourselves determine how we feel. The more positively we speak to ourselves, the better we feel. When we fill our inner conversations with a wealth of good and rich information, we are able to transcend and dispel external negatives. But how do we get to that point? How do we shift from self-destructive behavior to more blissful experiences?
We begin by cleansing the negativity in our subconscious minds and instilling new positive prompters upon which we relate, think, act, behave and experience a more blissful life.
Have you ever felt so angry that everything and everyone made you angrier?
Would you say that these things or people were responsible for your emotions?
Have you ever met someone so mean, that “they made medicine seem weak?” ~ Mohammad Ali.
Would you really blame yourself for the way they felt?
Well, I have. And that’s before I understood that I am in control of my emotions. And that I was the lord of my inner world. It was up to me to manage my inner world. And every time I forget that I am in charge, I get hurt.
What about you? What is your story?
Well, below are real reviews/complaints from customers received by Thomas Cook Vacations. It might be funny but take time to examine how we let the egoistical mind paint us insane.
1. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”
2. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”
3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”
4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”
5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”
6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”
7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”
8. “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”
9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”
10. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”
12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”
13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”
14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”
15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”
16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”
17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.” 18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”
19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
Source: Peter Dickinson
How can you become the authority of your experiences? How can you master the inner workings of your inner world?