I stood next to my bed and watched my cell phone lying in pieces across the room where I had thrown it. I was angry at myself. However, I felt a sense of relief on realizing that I was focusing on something else; not him or when he would call; but on my phone, and how much I had to spend on a new one. I went on my knees and crawled towards the dismantled pieces. I carefully and patiently started assembling it. When it was put together, I turned it on, not necessarily to check whether he had tried to reach me, but if it would work. After a few seconds, it flashed the famous T-Mobile theme, and on it was again. I felt so relieved. As I examined the screen to check out for any cracks, the message alert box popped up. This is when it came to my realization that I was supposed to be waiting for his messages. He had texted a “hope you are having a good day” message. I read it several times hoping that it would reveal more, but it didn’t. “What does he mean?” I questioned. I just couldn’t understand why he texted, what his intentions were, and if he wanted us back together. This is the first time I thought that the simple statement “hope you are having a good day” had so many other meanings.
I started to respond but stopped, not knowing what to write. I looked at the phone for a few minutes wishing that he would text again, but he didn’t. Although the message made me feel better, it made me anxious as well.
After a few minutes of confusion, I managed to doze off, only to wake up to a phone call. In a sleepy mood without looking to see who had called, I answered the phone. “Hello,” I said. “It is me,” he responded. It was him, he had called me. I was shocked. I kept silent for a couple of minutes not knowing what to say. “Did I wake you up?” he said. “Yes,” I answered. “Okay, I will call you back later,” he said as he hang up. Then the torture started all over again. What the hell did he want? What did he want to tell me? It is like the clock had reversed itself back to the first time he had told me his crap of “the part of me that wants to be with her is stronger than the part that wants to be with you.” I fumbled and cried all over again, not knowing what to do next.
Are you hurting because he/she dumped you? Trust me you are not alone. We have all gone through it. Take heart. More to come… www.tapthegood.com
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