The Most Powerful Self-Improvement Question


As the year ends, other than spending a lot of money on gifts and preparing for the holiday celebrations, we get prompted to think about what we’ve achieved during the year, what we’ve lost, what we want to achieve the following year, what to change about ourselves, how to change, financial goals, relationships goals…the list goes on.

Many, (and I plead guilty for doing this for a number of years,) have long given up on the annual-goal setting exercise because they either never follow-through with their goals, or simply, for some reason, fail to achieve their goals. So, for the fear of failing again, they negate or ignore annual resolutions.

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However, I have discovered that there is a single question that I have asked myself each year, and have also recommended for my clients, that doesn’t only help to re-establish personal worth, but also leads to new insights about self. Also, this question has somehow led me into evaluating my finance, friendship, business and future related goals.

The question is: “What do I deserve?”

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When you take time to contemplate on, and answer this question, I suggest that you consider thinking about what you are tolerating, let it be partnerships, a job (if you are employed), lifestyle, friendships—to mention but a few. After establishing what you might be tolerating, proceed to analyze what you think you deserve and why. Before you are done, you will have your most important new goals ready for your execution.

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If you discover that you are tolerating more than you think, then contact me at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ for a complimentary personal coaching/counseling session to establish how I can help you take your power back and become the authority of your life.

Looking for a good book to read during the holidays? Check out, Do not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Tap Into One’s Infinite Potential, Develop a Profound Positive Attitude and Live Life on Your Terms.

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Happy holidays

Love and light

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Published Author, Counselor, Personal Coach, Professional Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

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How to Improve a Mother-Daughter Relationship.


As a counselor and personal coach, one of the issues that I occasionally help my clients with is to improve their relationships with their parents and/or daughters. In this article, I share 5 tips that can help improve a mother-daughter relationship.

 1. Be Proactive

Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. If you have any issues to discuss, make the move. Think about how you feel in the relationship and what you can do to change.

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  1. Work on improving yourself.

Many think that the only way to improve a relationship is for the other person to change their ways. However, we can all individually take full responsibility of our actions and reactions and improve our thought processes in such a way that makes us feel good about ourselves

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  1. Have realistic expectations.

Both moms and daughters often have idealistic expectations about their relationship. For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age. As a daughter, remember that your mom also has her own life and issues to deal with. Be empathetic: and the same goes for mothers.

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  1. Communicate.

Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters. In some ways they can be so close or feel so close that they believe that each of them should know how the other one feels. It’s vital to know that complaining disrupts the message. When there is conflict, explain what was done and how it made you feel. It is not about blaming the other person or giving them titles. It is about focusing on your personal feelings about their actions or words and being as clear as possible. After explaining, it is important to give the other person time to explain. Most times you will discover that they didn’t even mean to hurt you.

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  1. Be an active listener.

Active listening is reflecting back what the other person is saying, instead of assuming you already know. When you reflect back to what your mom or daughter is saying, you’re telling her that she’s being heard and that you understand.

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If you utilize these tips whenever conflict arises, chances are that your relationship will be healthier than if you just keep quiet and don’t communicate your concerns.

Need help with your family relationships? Send me an email at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ I can help.

Love and light.

http://www.tapthegood.com