As a counselor and personal coach, one of the issues that I occasionally help my clients with is to improve their relationships with their parents and/or daughters. In this article, I share 5 tips that can help improve a mother-daughter relationship.
1. Be Proactive
Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. If you have any issues to discuss, make the move. Think about how you feel in the relationship and what you can do to change.
- Work on improving yourself.
Many think that the only way to improve a relationship is for the other person to change their ways. However, we can all individually take full responsibility of our actions and reactions and improve our thought processes in such a way that makes us feel good about ourselves
- Have realistic expectations.
Both moms and daughters often have idealistic expectations about their relationship. For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age. As a daughter, remember that your mom also has her own life and issues to deal with. Be empathetic: and the same goes for mothers.
Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters. In some ways they can be so close or feel so close that they believe that each of them should know how the other one feels. It’s vital to know that complaining disrupts the message. When there is conflict, explain what was done and how it made you feel. It is not about blaming the other person or giving them titles. It is about focusing on your personal feelings about their actions or words and being as clear as possible. After explaining, it is important to give the other person time to explain. Most times you will discover that they didn’t even mean to hurt you.
- Be an active listener.
Active listening is reflecting back what the other person is saying, instead of assuming you already know. When you reflect back to what your mom or daughter is saying, you’re telling her that she’s being heard and that you understand.
If you utilize these tips whenever conflict arises, chances are that your relationship will be healthier than if you just keep quiet and don’t communicate your concerns.
Need help with your family relationships? Send me an email at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ I can help.
Love and light.