7 MENTAL TOOLS TO SURVIVE CHALLENGING TIMES


I will not be stopped

Of late, turbulent times seem to be more common than peaceful times. The main, yet less obvious reason for experiencing turbulent times is because we’ve let the external world and whatever happens in it to determine the way we feel. The first step then, is to take full responsibility of the way we feel and then tap into our inexhaustible mental resources in order to get a grip of our feelings. Once we are less attached to our experiences or needs/wants, we access our inbuilt God-given clarity and enthusiasm to pursue our goals without the related stress

You_Are_More_Powerfull_Than_You_Think

In this video, I share 7 mental tools that are guaranteed to help you survive challenging times. Read them, identify those tools that you relate to the most, embrace, then employ them to help you get a grip of your mind, strengthen it, then move past the challenges. 

Link to the video -https://youtu.be/e2qMxnmToSM

Please share this content with those you think will benefit. 

Subscribe to my YouTube channel for obvious reasons. 🙂 – http://www.youtube.com/MsJacent/

This article was written by Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She is a transformational coach, counselor, professional speaker and published author. For more about her, please visit http://www.tapthegood.com

 

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How Language Can Trigger Discriminatory Behavior


Diversity

One of the ways through which we make others feel discriminated is by the things we say, and/or how we say them. At times we might say certain things without even intending to offend others. However, if we say these things to someone who has already been discriminated or one who is aware of implied bias, we might trigger discriminatory and/or resentful behavior.

“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” – James Humes

Let me explain.

         “Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.” – Cesar Chavez

Let’s imagine that you are the only white man/woman in a large group of black people. In that scenario, it is very clear that you are the odd-man out. You definitely stand out in that crowd. Furthermore, everyone in the group recognizes this fact although they don’t say it. However, let’s imagine that someone in the group addresses you as, “Hey white man/woman, what have you been up to?” How would you feel? If you’ve never experienced discrimination you might deem this as funny. However, let’s imagine that you’ve been racially discriminated in the past, how would this statement make you feel? Chances are that you will feel uncomfortable. You will feel isolated. You will immediately develop a resentful attitude to protect yourself from any possible negative experiences with group. If you are not strong enough, you will walk away from the group. They may call you sensitive, but the fact is the person who referred to you as “white” was insensitive or maybe unaware of how language can promote discriminatory behavior.

How can we prevent this from happening?

    “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” – William Arthur Ward

We can all be conscious of what we say, and think before we speak. In a group with people who are different from us, we should make sure that we do not use words that isolate the minority. We should avoid calling others by their skin color, race or religious background. For instance, we should never call someone by using statements such as, “White man/woman, black person, and African man/woman, Muslim or Christian.”

There might be incidents where the minority do not understand what the majority are saying because of a common slung used in that race, social class or religious group. We should then explain what we mean without coming off as being more intelligent.

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These are very simple tips but if ignored can be the foundation of discriminative tendencies, or resentment. Remember, language can create or destroy. Therefore we must be cautious about what we say. We must be kind to each other considering that although we are different, we are like apples and oranges: although they are different, they are all fruits. Likewise, we are all humans.

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA is a Counselor, Transformational Coach, published author and professional speaker who speaks on the subject of Diversity. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com. orhttps://speakerhub.com/speaker/dr-jacinta-mpalyenkana?b=s

Resolving The Root Cause of Most Diversity-related Challenges in The Workplace


FearDue to our very nature as humans, we tend to negate whoever is different from us. We want everyone to be like us. And as such, we impliedly develop bias towards anyone who seems different from us, or one who does things differently. Consequently, we prejudge, categorize, and even at times discriminate those who are different. In such incidents, we unconsciously fight the fear of the unknown with intent to protect ourselves, only to hurt others.

Therefore, the most impactful root cause of diversity-related challenges is fear. Let me explain.

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Imagine you meet someone for the first time and build rapport, a.k.a. connect to them through what you have in common, there is no fear. You open up to them, and even eventually build trust. You share personal stories/experiences and you become excited to find someone who is like you in one way or another.  Thus, there is respect especially if you have some for yourself. For the most part, the more you discover the commonalities you have with the other person, the more you want to be around them, and learn more about them: with the disguised hope that you will discover more things you have in common.

Let’s turn the tables around and imagine that you meet someone and they come off as very different from you, you will probably start searching for whatever is wrong with them. If you find nothing you can define as wrong with them you will most likely make up one. You will start negating them because you don’t know them. You will start blocking them because of the fear of the unknown: and at that point you are literally protecting yourself.

The question is, what do you do if you work with so many people who are different from you? What if you are the one who is different from everyone else? What if what makes you different is your religion, skin color, or social background? What would you do to be an active and positive member of the team if they immediately block you off? What do you think management could do to reduce this implied fear and the negative related consequences?

As an expert in the psychology of diversity and unconscious bias, with 7 years working with the United Nations Mission in Kosovo, I have learned from other experts and my experiences that one of the most durable strategies that seem to work in any workplace setting is for management to consistently educate employees about the mission of the organization, goals, and strategies. Furthermore, they should incessantly remind employees about the one thing that they have in common: and that is achieving the organization’s set goals within its mission. This commonality should be explained in such a way that specifically illustrates the related benefits if everyone is onboard. Consequently, staff members will be inspired to focus on what they have in common and then use what’s different about them to develop diverse tools to achieve this common goal in the most efficient and effective way.

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Questions or comments?  Please let me know. For more about me, check me out at www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is published author, consultant, and a professional speaker who speaks on the Psychology of Diversity and Unconscious Bias, among other topics.