Over the years, there are a few people who have me hurt me beyond words. And I’m sure you can relate.
My stepmother did something to me that negatively impacted my life in ways I can’t even explain. For years, I cried day and night wondering why she could hurt someone’s child to that extent, moreover she has her own kids. I tried so hard to understand why God was so silent while I pleaded with Him to rescue me from the pain and negative consequences that her actions had created in my life, in vain.
Something else I held onto for years was the racism I experienced at a workplace, and from people I met in different organizations. Misfortune seemed to follow me around. Then, the discriminative tendencies from my in-laws, who treated me like I was less of a human being because I am black, almost rendered me insane. These things hurt me so much that I moved around with a heavy heart, sad, disoriented, and discouraged about life.
Some friends I had inspired so much when they were down and people I had supported when no one was there for them decided that betrayal was my best reward. And I am sure you can relate.
I was so determined to heal my life because it hurt. One day, I met my spiritual teacher, who literally rescued me from the brewing pain that I was actively fertilizing in my heart. Without even knowing what I was going through, he told me something that snapped me out of the self-inflicted pain.
“Jacinta, there is no God in the sky coming to rescue you. God is in you. God is your life. God is your heartbeat, God is your breath. So do yourself a favor and release everything in your heart so that you can feel God.”
Despite having a doctorate in counseling, it hadn’t occurred to me that I was the one responsible for the pain I felt. All the people I had perceived as “hurters” were doing themselves. It was their business. They were expressing themselves. That is the programming they had. It had nothing to do with me. My business was to keep my heart clear from all perceptions and judgements about people and experiences. And that I have the power to live life on my terms. “Release your heart to God….to the universe, because “He” is the real deal and the only deal.” My teacher explained.
Are you hurting because someone acted in ways that hurt you? Release the pain and give your heart to whom it belongs to…God. Say, “Dear God, help me forgive myself, and everyone whom I have perceived as a hurter. Help me release my heart wholeheartedly to you.” Say this prayer repeatedly and watch how the universe works. When you stand down, the universe, God, reveals fully as your supreme support, not that “It” wasn’t your support before you recognized this truth. Because God is your support, with or without your recognition. But when you consciously acknowledge that God is all there is, peace becomes your perfume.
I am sharing this personal story, hoping it can inspire someone out there.
Love and light