7 MENTAL TOOLS TO SURVIVE CHALLENGING TIMES


I will not be stopped

Of late, turbulent times seem to be more common than peaceful times. The main, yet less obvious reason for experiencing turbulent times is because we’ve let the external world and whatever happens in it to determine the way we feel. The first step then, is to take full responsibility of the way we feel and then tap into our inexhaustible mental resources in order to get a grip of our feelings. Once we are less attached to our experiences or needs/wants, we access our inbuilt God-given clarity and enthusiasm to pursue our goals without the related stress

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In this video, I share 7 mental tools that are guaranteed to help you survive challenging times. Read them, identify those tools that you relate to the most, embrace, then employ them to help you get a grip of your mind, strengthen it, then move past the challenges. 

Link to the video -https://youtu.be/e2qMxnmToSM

Please share this content with those you think will benefit. 

Subscribe to my YouTube channel for obvious reasons. 🙂 – http://www.youtube.com/MsJacent/

This article was written by Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She is a transformational coach, counselor, professional speaker and published author. For more about her, please visit http://www.tapthegood.com

 

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How Language Can Trigger Discriminatory Behavior


Diversity

One of the ways through which we make others feel discriminated is by the things we say, and/or how we say them. At times we might say certain things without even intending to offend others. However, if we say these things to someone who has already been discriminated or one who is aware of implied bias, we might trigger discriminatory and/or resentful behavior.

“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” – James Humes

Let me explain.

         “Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.” – Cesar Chavez

Let’s imagine that you are the only white man/woman in a large group of black people. In that scenario, it is very clear that you are the odd-man out. You definitely stand out in that crowd. Furthermore, everyone in the group recognizes this fact although they don’t say it. However, let’s imagine that someone in the group addresses you as, “Hey white man/woman, what have you been up to?” How would you feel? If you’ve never experienced discrimination you might deem this as funny. However, let’s imagine that you’ve been racially discriminated in the past, how would this statement make you feel? Chances are that you will feel uncomfortable. You will feel isolated. You will immediately develop a resentful attitude to protect yourself from any possible negative experiences with group. If you are not strong enough, you will walk away from the group. They may call you sensitive, but the fact is the person who referred to you as “white” was insensitive or maybe unaware of how language can promote discriminatory behavior.

How can we prevent this from happening?

    “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” – William Arthur Ward

We can all be conscious of what we say, and think before we speak. In a group with people who are different from us, we should make sure that we do not use words that isolate the minority. We should avoid calling others by their skin color, race or religious background. For instance, we should never call someone by using statements such as, “White man/woman, black person, and African man/woman, Muslim or Christian.”

There might be incidents where the minority do not understand what the majority are saying because of a common slung used in that race, social class or religious group. We should then explain what we mean without coming off as being more intelligent.

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These are very simple tips but if ignored can be the foundation of discriminative tendencies, or resentment. Remember, language can create or destroy. Therefore we must be cautious about what we say. We must be kind to each other considering that although we are different, we are like apples and oranges: although they are different, they are all fruits. Likewise, we are all humans.

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA is a Counselor, Transformational Coach, published author and professional speaker who speaks on the subject of Diversity. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com. orhttps://speakerhub.com/speaker/dr-jacinta-mpalyenkana?b=s

Resolving The Root Cause of Most Diversity-related Challenges in The Workplace


FearDue to our very nature as humans, we tend to negate whoever is different from us. We want everyone to be like us. And as such, we impliedly develop bias towards anyone who seems different from us, or one who does things differently. Consequently, we prejudge, categorize, and even at times discriminate those who are different. In such incidents, we unconsciously fight the fear of the unknown with intent to protect ourselves, only to hurt others.

Therefore, the most impactful root cause of diversity-related challenges is fear. Let me explain.

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Imagine you meet someone for the first time and build rapport, a.k.a. connect to them through what you have in common, there is no fear. You open up to them, and even eventually build trust. You share personal stories/experiences and you become excited to find someone who is like you in one way or another.  Thus, there is respect especially if you have some for yourself. For the most part, the more you discover the commonalities you have with the other person, the more you want to be around them, and learn more about them: with the disguised hope that you will discover more things you have in common.

Let’s turn the tables around and imagine that you meet someone and they come off as very different from you, you will probably start searching for whatever is wrong with them. If you find nothing you can define as wrong with them you will most likely make up one. You will start negating them because you don’t know them. You will start blocking them because of the fear of the unknown: and at that point you are literally protecting yourself.

The question is, what do you do if you work with so many people who are different from you? What if you are the one who is different from everyone else? What if what makes you different is your religion, skin color, or social background? What would you do to be an active and positive member of the team if they immediately block you off? What do you think management could do to reduce this implied fear and the negative related consequences?

As an expert in the psychology of diversity and unconscious bias, with 7 years working with the United Nations Mission in Kosovo, I have learned from other experts and my experiences that one of the most durable strategies that seem to work in any workplace setting is for management to consistently educate employees about the mission of the organization, goals, and strategies. Furthermore, they should incessantly remind employees about the one thing that they have in common: and that is achieving the organization’s set goals within its mission. This commonality should be explained in such a way that specifically illustrates the related benefits if everyone is onboard. Consequently, staff members will be inspired to focus on what they have in common and then use what’s different about them to develop diverse tools to achieve this common goal in the most efficient and effective way.

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Questions or comments?  Please let me know. For more about me, check me out at www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is published author, consultant, and a professional speaker who speaks on the Psychology of Diversity and Unconscious Bias, among other topics. 

Are You 100% Free to Be What You Want to Be?


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Some philosophers have argued that we are not totally free to be who want to be. What we think is freedom is merely being free to express ourselves as predetermined by our earlier and continuous programming. Due to the fact that being free means being happy and content with wherever and whatever one is, we tend to mistake settling for what is available, for authentic contentment. We forget that if we are unaware of other realities we have nothing to compare with. As such we regard our present reality as the real deal. Furthermore, because we are deeply programmed to believe and be a certain way, we conclude that this is the best we can be or do. We settle for beliefs  and lives that are not organically our own. 

self-limiting

For instance, as I child, I was told, and I believed that if a woman rode a bike they would never get married. Because riding a bike compromised being feminine. Today, I’m still struggling to learn how to ride a bike–upon discovering that getting married has nothing to do with riding a bike. 🙂 
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That’s one of many beliefs that I was exposed to as a child, and I have had to examine, question and change my beliefs every so often in order to discover if they are regressing or progressing me.

The question is: Which of your beliefs are promoting your life?

Note that it takes more than wishful thinking to examine all our beliefs in order to originate beliefs and ways of living that are organically our own. Note that everytime someone starts questioning the general status quo, they are isolated, rejected if not killed. They are thrown out of the crowd. Think about people like, Martin Luther King, Jr, Jesus, the Christ–to mention a few.

So, if you want to create a reality that is organically your own, you have to step away from the crowds, follow your bliss and inner guidance, question everything, be open to everything, yet attached to nothing. You also have to be willing to be alone in order to find your authentic-self.  However, the benefits are inexhaustible. 

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In this video, I discuss this concept in detail. 

Link to VIDEO – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNgNA0oyGHM

Please share your thoughts. 

If you are seeking for a spiritual speaker to speak about “What it Means to be Free”, or  a counselor/coach who will work with you in examining your current reality and creating an organic one based on your authentic-self, please send me an email at tapthegood@gmail.com

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana.Ph.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, Transformational Coach, Published author and Professional speaker. For more about her, visit http://www.tapthegood.com

Get Up and Go For It Again – A True Powerful Inspirational Story – Your Periodical IV Of Inspiration


In this audio recording, I share a true story that I believe will inspire you to pick up your broken pieces, wipe off the dust and get moving.

Get up

Link to audio recording – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT7F86eNUcE

Remember to look out for the 10 Weeks Inner-World Mastery Boot Camp Program coming up in a few weeks.

For your personal counseling and coaching solutions, check out http://www.tapthegood.com or send an email to tapthegood@gmail.com

Love and light

The author, Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Phd, MBA is an Addictions/Co-dependency Counselor, a Transformational Coach, Published Author and Inspirational Speaker.

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

The Most Powerful Communication Tool To Achieve Sustained-Business Success


Communicating Your way to SUCCESS

I’m glad I caught your attention.  🙂 

The question is: what do you think is the most powerful communication tool that will earn you sustainable business success? What most people think it is, is not what it is. 

The most powerful communication tool is simple: the way you communicate to yourself. (Aka, self-talk) Remember that everything begins from within you. You are the most important resource you have for your business, and life in general.

thought-process

You might have all the physical resources: money, cars, buildings, connections, etc, but if you don’t communicate to yourself in a positive, energizing way, you won’t be able to capitalize on those resources. For instance, if your inner voice is always telling you that you are not good enough, or that everything will always go wrong, no amount of money will help you achieve sustained success. Why? Because, you will find a way…

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It’s Always the Right Time to Let Go: An EFT Session to Help You Let Go of the Past


New journey

Does your past often haunt you?
Do you often feel validated to think negatively?

Does your mind ramble on and on about a negative past experience?

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Well, regardless of what happened to you in the past, it’s always the right time to let it go. Letting go of our negative stories only benefits us. When we let go of negative self-talk however validated we might feel, we create space in our minds to focus on more positive empowering stories. Remember, we deserve to feel good all the time no matter what.

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In this EFT session, I help you to let go of any negative story that could be running at the back of your mind.

Link to Session Video Recording  – https://youtu.be/b8-1sxYUAOo

Please share with those who might benefit from this session.

Looking for a powerful inspirational book to read, check out, Do Not Force It, Tap The Good: 

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is a published author, Transformational Coach, Counselor and Professional speaker. She is always a, EFT Master Practitioner and Advanced Ho’oponopono Master Practitioner, Reiki Master, Sharmanic energy healer. For more about her, please check out http://www.tapthegood.com