I am Quitting my Job: Weekly iV of Inspiration


It is time to quit

Why would I quit my job? You might wonder. Now, the job I am quitting immediately is judging people. It has cost me so much more than what I have put in. And I am sure you can relate. 

Let me explain

Judging, begins by observing the subject, relating to it by drawing information from your subconscious mind that recognizes the subject. Next, you have to perceive, define and then conclude on the subject. And the conclusion is what we normally refer to as judging.

What a waste of mental and emotional resources to come up with a judgement about someone! Although the process is normally done in a matter of seconds or minutes, it is still a hell of a long process. And most importantly, you can never be certain about the content of a book by just looking at its cover.

When we judge other people or make conclusions about their behavior, we consider the behavior as the only subject to perceive. However, behavior is a projection of a lot more complex information in the person than the behavior itself, Behavior is just an output. There is more to it, than it is. There is more to the person than their behavior. And there is more about that person than who they think they are. That is why I have come to a conclusion that judging others is delusional especially because you are making conclusions based on very limited information about the subject.

So, what is the option to judging? 

Well, people will reveal what is inside their minds through their behavior. However, let’s consider a few other details before we accept this suggestion as the truth.

Now, let’s imagine you go to the market to buy bananas. You will only buy the bananas that you like, right? You won’t go around the banana stall judging each of the banana batches. You might look around, pick up a few batches until you find the one you like. But your evaluations will not stick in your mind. You won’t drive home thinking about how horrible the other banana batches were. For the most part, you won’t even think about the bananas you bought. Likewise, you can relate to someone, and if their behavior triggers a negative emotion, memory or feeling within you, observe how you got to that mental/emotional state. Is this person’s behavior repetitive? Are you just having a bad day and this person just happened to be in your presence at the wrong time? As a side note, remember when someone insults you, it is just a projection of their misery. And if you get insulted, it is a projection of your insecurities.

When someone insults you, it is just a projection of their misery. And if you get insulted, it is a projection of your insecurities.” ~ Dr Jacinta Mpalyenkana-Murray

Whatever your reasons are, avoid jumping to conclusions about the person. Perceive and conclude on the behavior, and then act accordingly, but not on the person. Trust me, that will save you a lot of emotional turmoil. Remember it is easier to deal with actions than with people. If you just judge their behavior as action, all you have to do is examine how it made you feel, release the feelings and let it remain in the past where it belongs. Move on.

That’s the job I am quitting. I am done working as a self-employed, underpaid and quack judge, lol. I am not good at it. It is so tiring to judge people based on their behavior. People are more than their behavior. People are always changing. My judgements are neither the entire truth, nor current. Besides, it is just too much emotional work. I have decided to focus on my business, which is me, how I feel and my mindset. 

What about you? Please share your thoughts.

Love and light

For a  resource that will help you sustain your sanity, click HERE

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

6 Ways to Deal With Mental Health Stigma


Don’t waste your time focusing on people who underestimate you. Focus on how you can up-estimate yourself.” ~ Dr. Jacent M M-Murray

Have you ever experienced some kind of emotional trauma or stress that manifested into a physical misalignment? Let us imagine you had brain surgery which damaged your sight or hearing functions. Or you lost a loved one, which traumatized you.

Could it be that you went through a divorce or a childhood experience that left you feeling completely disoriented and/or dissatisfied with life. Imagine people close to you or those you meet, implicate you as mentally retarded because of your emotional disabilities. This is an example of mental health stigma. Mental health stigma happens when someone discriminates, or treats you in a condensing manner just because you are either stressed, going through some hardcore challenges or is traumatized in some way.

How do you deal with them? How do you move forward without letting their actions affect you?

Here are a few suggestions that will help.

  1. Do not react to people’s negative comments about your weaknesses especially if they are derogative. Observe and ignore. Don’t even respond to their bull shit. Remember that you are in charge of your inner world. You are in charge of how you feel. Do not give them your power of influence–meaning that be the only one who determines what influences you.
  2. Don’t try to understand why someone treated you poorly. You can never understand why mean people do what they do. It is actually better if you don’t question because you might end up thinking like them. For this particular reason, the less you know about the root causes of people’s negative behavior, the better.
  3. Immediately walk away from people who treat you in condensing ways. If you can alert the authorities about their discriminative behavior, do. If not, end the relationship immediately and go about your business. Protect your sanity.
  4. Focus on your healing journey and mental health. Don’t allow outside negativity to influence you. Block it off by religiously focusing on how you want to feel.
  5. Tame your attention. Watch how you distribute your attention. Don’t let the mind sway you into negative thinking. Bring your attention back to your awesome self. Dwell on what you have. Be grateful for your life, your heart beat. Know that with life, change is prominent. Everything changes, and this too will come to an end.
  6. Remember who you truly are. Know that you are not your body, identity, history or experiences. Know that you are a child of God. Know that since God is infinite, you are not excluded from his presence. He is in you, and you are in him. There is no separation. Dwell on this truth with all your heart. And let the love of God heal and protect you.

I hope this helps. I know this is what I do daily to keep doing what I do.

I’m sending you abundant love from my heart to yours.

Love and light

##Check out this resource, it will help you. Click HERE to get access.

Written by Dr. Jacent Mpalyenkana-Murray, PhD, MBA

Reverend, Spiritual Counselor, Transformational Coach and Author, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

lying about you

  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

lying to you

  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

verbal abuse

  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

self-criticism-judge-300x269

  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

abuse 2

Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
  2. When you click on the referenced video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, share and like the video. If you have comments, even better. Please include them in the comments section below.

Subscribe 1

If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

Looking for a powerful life-changing self-help book to read? I got you. Click on this link to order your copy.

High Resolution Front Cover.3594241

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.