Four Tips to Deal with Rejection: Part 2:


In part 1 of this article, “How to Deal with Rejection – based on a personal story”, I shared a personal story about one of my childhood experiences of rejection. I’m certain that you or someone you know has gone through similar or maybe even worse experiences.

In this article, I share 4 tips that helped me deal with rejection and build a healthier self-esteem. And although I appreciate the fact that your experiences or those of your loved ones might be different, I’m also certain that anyone will be able to customize these tips and make them their own in order to resolve any rejection related emotional issues that they might be experiencing.

Tip 1: Know That no one can Reject You.

As weird as it might sound, believe me when I say that no one can actually reject you. One of the meanings of rejection is to be eliminated. And in my opinion, no one can eliminate you per-say. One might eliminate your presence from a scene, or disregard what you say, but he/she can never eliminate your existence. Chances are that what you perceive as rejection is an incident where someone probably did not resonate with, understand, or agree with whatever you were presenting or offering. However, with all due respect, this doesn’t mean that the entire awesome you was discarded.

Therefore, the first tip you can employ to deal with rejection-related emotions is to change your perception of the word, rejection and how it applies to you as an individual.

No one can reject you

Tip 2: Know that People’s Actions are Their Business.

As you deal with the rejection-related emotions, understand that perception is projection. Behavior is founded on internal representations: meaning that people behave as they have learned to, based on their beliefs and thought processes, mental, emotional and spiritual states. Everyone is doing the best they can with the internal resources they have. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement, “squeeze an orange and you get orange juice.” When someone is filled with anger, sadness or whatever other emotions that they might have, that’s exactly what’s going to come out of them as they perceive the world, as well as act. Therefore, if someone rejects something about you, this has nothing to do with you. It is their business. That’s how they know how to operate. Note that at that point in time, your presence or whatever they rejected triggered a decision within them to reject. Consequently, you can’t take things personally. And most importantly, you have to forgive them for their actions because they probably didn’t even realize that there was anything wrong with the way they acted. Just as you can’t expect mango juice to come out of an orange, you can’t expect a person filled with rudeness or anger to treat you with kindness or non-judgment.

If my actions dont concern you
Tip 3: Take 100% Responsibility Of Your Emotions:

When we take full responsibility of our negative emotions, we take our power back from whoever we have blamed for the way we feel. By taking full responsibility for the rejection-related negative emotions, we get to understand that no one has the power to make us feel a certain way; and that we have the power to heal ourselves. This process begins by identifying all those negative emotions that you are feeling. Write them down. Examine each one of them to identify the root causes. Establish if the root causes are really based on truths. For instance, if one of the negative related emotions you are dealing with is sadness, the root cause is what the person said or did, that made you believe that you are a reject. When you examine tip 1, you realize that you are not really a reject. Tip 2, is telling you that whatever the person did is not your business. Consequently, your perceptions are not founded on the truth. You are not a reject. Therefore, you just have to let the sadness go because it is built on lies.

The next step is to forgive yourself for being sad for the wrong reasons. Here’s a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUjtMRS_5k) with a forgiveness process that I recorded a few years ago. To access the link, please copy and paste the link in a new browser, then click “enter.”

You are your hell

Tip 4: Know That You Can Create a New And Better Story About Your Self-Image

The thoughts and related beliefs about being rejection are founded on a story you created based on an experience that you believed to be the truth. Note that just as you created this story, you also have the power to erase it and then create a new and better story about how you want to feel about yourself. You can do this by thinking about how you want to perceive your self-image. Decide how you want to be perceived. Write these attributes down. Read them to yourself every day until you believe them as the truth. For instance, you can write statements such; I accept and love myself just as I am. I am worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I respect myself—you get the idea. The fundamental thing to do is to think and believe these statements as the truth. And by doing this, you will be writing a better story that will improve your perception of yourself.
create a new story
Please note that although these tips are simplified, they helped me deal with my rejection-related negative emotions and I believe they can help you or anyone else. The idea is to make the tips your own, do the work on yourself, and remember that persistence and repetition are necessary ingredients required to establish and reinforce desired change.

The author is Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She’s an author, speaker, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, please check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Looking for a good inspirational book to empower and inspire you? Look no further. Click HERE to read THE book. 

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Have Faith – Based on a Powerful Inspirational Story – Audio Recording


In this week’s inspirational blog, I share a story about having faith. Faith, in my opinion is that consistent profound, soothing inner state, that convinces us that everything will be okay. We all need faith to inspire our confidence and help us push forward regardless of the obstacles that we may be facing.

In this audio recording, I share the story. Please send the audio link to anyone who might need it.

Link to audio – https://youtu.be/ABGBurvxmvw

In the interim, I’m sending you God’s love and light.

Want to read a good book that will inspire fear to take a hike out of your system? Check out my book – Do Not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on Your Terms.

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**Inspirational story borrowed from http://www.inspire21.com

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, transformational coach, Author, and Professional Speaker. To learn more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com

How to Connect to The Right Friends


As a teenager, connecting to the right friends was one of my biggest challenges.

I grew up with my mom in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda, and my mom was very strict about how we chose friends since most of our neighbor’s teenagers had become pregnant, escaped from their homes and/or got involved in other inappropriate activities. I disliked my mom. In my little mind, I thought she was blocking my freedom to have as many friends as I wanted. But as an adult now, I appreciate her a lot. It is because of her strategies to keep us safe from the turbulent environment in which we were in, that I and my siblings were able to complete school without getting into trouble.

By following some of the strategies that I learned from my mom, and some as a transformational coach, I’ve been able to connect to and choose the right friends over the years.

Here are some of the tips that you can use to connect to the right friends.

1. Become your own best friend.
Before you can understand what friendship really means, you have to love and appreciate everything about yourself, including your flaws. You have to be your own best friend. If you don’t like yourself, you will always look for validation from your friends to define who you are. And that will be disappointing because no one has the power to define who you should be, or how you should feel about yourself. It’s up to each one of us to determine who we should be, and how we should feel. Therefore, be your best friend first, such that when you connect to friends, you are not looking for validation. You love yourself as you are.

your best friend

2. Define what friendship means to you.
It is extremely important to establish what you want to achieve from whatever you do. It’s about being purposeful. Defining what friendship means to you implies that you establish what you expect from friends; what they should expect from you as a friend, and what you will not tolerate from them. This also means that you have to develop personal values and standards below which you won’t be anyone’s friend. For instance; since you are already your own best friend, you have to know how to be friendly to yourself. This means that you respect your body by eating the right foods; you exercise and do not indulge in anything that would abuse your body—such as drugs and/or immature sex. You keep your word. You communicate clearly about what you want and don’t want, assertively. You respect your parents/elders. You keep your environment clean and safe. In a nutshell, you love yourself. As a result, you seek to connect with friends who also love themselves and most importantly, friends who will not negatively affect your self-love. They respect and appreciate who you are. They don’t try to influence you, except if it is for positive change.

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3. Become friendly.
If you want to connect to friends you have to be friendly. This means that you don’t make judgments about others because of their looks, origin, social group or religion. You communicate to others freely and attentively as you take the time to examine if these people also love themselves. You become present with people—meaning that you listen attentively to everyone you meet before you determine if that person could be a friend.

I believe that if you embrace these tips, or even add other personal tips that you’ve learned, you will be able to connect to good friends.

become friendly

Article also shared on teenmentor.com

http://www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA

Author, Transformational Coach, and Speaker.

10 Tips to Achieve Success -In Celebration of March 1st, (Global Worry-free day)


Today, March 1st is the Global Worry-free day. A day I founded in 2014 as a first step to help myself and others to shift our minds away from worry, and focus on gratitude.

Click on this LINK to listen to the 10 tips to get inspired and achieve success.

success-is-yours

Video link – https://youtu.be/C3kLQIPFuT0

Remember that when we embrace patience, instead of worry, “infinite patience produces infinite results.” Confucious.

napoleonhill1-success

Please spread the word.

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

Why Worry when you can’t change “it”? A Powerful Tip to Beat Worry.


stop-worrying

In this short video, I share a common tip to help you deal with worry. I tend to write so much about emotional freedom because in addition to this being my expertise, I appreciate the fact that the world of late is going insane. I mean, look around you. There is so much to worry about if you don’t choose to focus on something else more empowering.

worrying

Also, please remember to save the date: March 1st, 2017, is Global Worry Free Day. This is a day of gratitude and giving back. Please spread the news.

pleanuts-worry-cartoon

In the interim, enjoy my short video and the stories within. I’m show it will make you feel better. 🙂

Link to video – https://youtu.be/fNC-5r8z4_8  (Copy link and paste in new browser)

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Your Personal Transformational Coach

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

4 Psychologically Proven Ways to Manage Your Time


“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time”
Tolstoy

  • We all have 24 hours in a day. However, it is amazing how others have been able to achieve more and others less. In this article I share 4 psychologically proven ways to help you manage your time more efficiently.
  • Identify areas of your life where you are wasting time and try to reduce these. A good way to do this is to log everything you do for a week in meticulous detail and then examine your record to see how you use (or misuse) your time.waste-time
  • Develop a regular work routine. Keep your work space tidy so that you can work efficiently – it’s hard to do this if things you need to find are buried under a pile of papers.Neat-and-Organized-Work-Desk-700x466
  • Work to schedule so that you meet deadlines in good time; don’t leave everything until the last minute

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  • Use a time log

One useful way to eliminate wasted time is to use a time log. First you need to make up a chart for the next seven days divided into half hour intervals starting at the time you get up and finishing at the time you go to bed. Write down what you did in each half hour of the day for the next seven days. Choose a typical week.

At the end of the week examine your time log and ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are there any periods that I could use more productively?
  • At what time of day do I do my most effective work? Some people are most alert in the morning, whilst others concentrate best during the afternoon or evening. Schedule your most important tasks for these times of day.

If you have followed the above tips, by now you should be able to identify ways in which you could manage your time more efficiently.

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To access more valuable free resources on how to manage your time more effectively, please subscribe to our blog, and join our face book page at https://www.facebook.com/groups/135779656849289/

If you want to take this even further, check out my website at www.tapthegood.com/contact/, fill in the details, and I will schedule a 15 minutes complimentary session to get you started on how to live life on your terms.

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Counselor, Author, Professional Speaker, Success Coach

http://www.tapthegood.com

Life is About Dealing With Issues


Life is about dealing with issues: financial issues, societal issues, political issues, etc, and especially, emotional issues.

Dealing with emotional issues on a continuous basis is the pathway to emotional freedom.

I have a gift for you; an eBook. With the magical tools of EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as tapping, you are set not only to heal from emotional baggage, but also achieve self-empowerment, clarity and peace of mind.

To download the eBook, please click HERE

Picture of the book

Living a stress-free life with EFT - book cover-page-001

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

http://www.tapthegood.com