Keep Shinning Regardless – An Inspirational Message


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Have you ever shared your dream with someone only to be discouraged?

Have you ever been so certain about the direction that you want to take only to be told by someone you trust that you are going to fail?

If you answered yes, to any of the above questions then you understand how it feels when someone tries to blow out your light….damn your enthusiasm.

Apparently, it’s human nature for one to damn someone else’s light if theirs isn’t shinning. Remember that misery loves company, and if you are in company with people who have given up on their dreams, don’t expect them to inspire you.

Note that people who feel insecure about their own qualities will attempt to make others feel that way. They will devise mental plots to get you to start doubting yourself.

Furthermore, if one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness. They don’t want to experience anything different. Their brains have settled, and it normally takes some mental and emotional work for them to snap out of their illusion and start shinning their own light. Therefore, if you share your dream with someone in that mental state, be sure to receive discouragement.

“If one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness”

The next question is, what do you do if someone discourages you?

The answer lies in the very reason why you want to pursue your goal. Your why, should matter more than what anyone else says about you or your goals. Besides, what others think or say about you is their business: that’s their model of the world. Whatever one is projecting in their mind has nothing to do with you. Your business is what’s brewing in your own mind. Therefore, you can’t let naysayers retard your decision to move forward with your dream. Remember, no one but you has the power to put out your light. You are the master of your enthusiasm and your inner thrill, and it’s really up to you to keep shinning no matter what.

“No one but you has the power to put out your light.”

Serena Williams

In this video, I share a few tips that you can use to keep your light shinning. The tips are simple and I’m certain that you already know about them. However, sometimes it helps when we are reminded that the answers and solutions we seek for are always within us.

 

 

 

 

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

Check out the inspirational books below that will help you to ignite your passion to live at the utmost potential, which already dwells within you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Steps to Get Out of a Financial Dilemma


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Have you ever found yourself with no money and no idea about what you are going to do to get back up?

Let’s also imagine that you have bills piling and waiting for you to pay.

Let’s further imagine that you lost your job or your business collapsed and you’ve tried everything you can to get a job or business back up and nothing seems to work.

What do you do?

Question

Well, I have been there, done that and I know exactly how it feels to be financially handicapped and hopeless. Yet at the end of it all I realized that what was stressing me out was either what I wished things should have been, or shouldn’t have been, and not necessarily what things really were or meant. Since, for every disappointment I have experienced, I soon discover that it was a blessing in disguise. That aside, I have followed the following steps to get me out of the hard times.

Step 1: Tame Your Mind

Dont wake to be perfect

 

The first thing to do is to deal with your mind. You literally cannot stress over your situation because if you do, things will “seem” worse. “Seem,” is singled out because things are what we define them to be. If you are stressed you are definitely going to redefine the situation and add more drama in order to support your new stressing convictions.

I’m sure you know how worrying about things amplifies them. You have to refocus your mind on what you have and what you are grateful for. I know this seems easier said than done, but it is doable. And when you understand the consequences of negative thinking you will tame your mind to focus on what’s good in your life. I’m certain that you have some good things that you can focus on.

Step 2: Determine what you want and focus on it religiously.

Choices

Many times we might think that we are focusing on what we want when we are actually dwelling on whatever we don’t want. Therefore, you have to take time and examine what you want instead of the financial havoc. Do you want to pay off your bills? How much money do you want? Do you want to be financially free? How does that look like for you? Do you want to get another job or maybe revamp your business? The idea is to be very specific about what you want and then focus on it.

Step 3: Evaluate your resources.

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For this step, you will have to get pen and paper and examine what resources you currently have that are freely available to you. You may have to consider your skills, experiences, education, talents—or anything else that is freely available to you. Another thing to consider is your wardrobe—what you can sell in a yard sale or online. List everything down.

Step 4: Decide on which skill, talent or experience you want to turn into something that will bring in money. For instance, I am also a qualified massage therapist, and during the slow financial times I advertise my massage business because firstly, I already have the required skills plus all the tools required to run a mobile spa. I literally don’t need a lot of money to get started with acquiring clients. I reach out to my regular clients, advertise on free portals like face book, craigslist and Google; and before I know it, I have clients flocking in.  The idea is to choose a skill that won’t cost you money.

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Step 5: Take action. Once you decide on which skill you want to explore, or actions to take, take immediate action. Don’t over think things. Just go for it. Trust that things will work out. Have faith. And even if things don’t work out the first time, keep tweaking them up until they get better. Whatever you do, don’t wait to be perfect.

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Click on this link to access a powerful divine love guided meditation to uplift you – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgMpYijDTjU

Click on this link to access a short inspiration video on never waiting to be perfect. 

In my book, Do Not Force It, Tap The Good, there 3 whole chapters about making something out of nothing. I’m certain that you will benefit from the tips provided.

Tap The Good

To get the book, please click on this link. https://www.amazon.com/Do-not-Force-TAP-GOOD/dp/1461079098/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1534208447&sr=1-2&keywords=Do+Not+Force+It%2C+Tap+The+Good

In the interim, remember that “Loss gives us a chance for an upgrade.” Mpalyenkana

http://www.tapthegood.com

6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

lying about you

  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

lying to you

  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

verbal abuse

  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

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  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

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Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
  2. When you click on the referenced video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, share and like the video. If you have comments, even better. Please include them in the comments section below.

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If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

Looking for a powerful life-changing self-help book to read? I got you. Click on this link to order your copy.

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.

It is Time to Surrender – 3 Proven Psychological Steps to Help you Surrender


Are you attached to a desire or goal and finding it hard to surrender to the process?

Does your passion/desire for your goal stress you out?

Are you worried that you might not achieve your goal?

Well, maybe it is time to surrender. And to do so, I have recorded this VIDEO with 3 proven psychological tools to help you detach from your goal, and instead focus on the goals as you also enjoy every moment of the process.

I know this will help.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/F2qpkBwEtqs

Please do not forget to share with friends or family who might need these tips.

Love and light.

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA

Author, Spiritual Counselor, Corporate Trainer, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

 

Have Faith – Based on a Powerful Inspirational Story – Audio Recording


In this week’s inspirational blog, I share a story about having faith. Faith, in my opinion is that consistent profound, soothing inner state, that convinces us that everything will be okay. We all need faith to inspire our confidence and help us push forward regardless of the obstacles that we may be facing.

In this audio recording, I share the story. Please send the audio link to anyone who might need it.

Link to audio – https://youtu.be/ABGBurvxmvw

In the interim, I’m sending you God’s love and light.

Want to read a good book that will inspire fear to take a hike out of your system? Check out my book – Do Not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on Your Terms.

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**Inspirational story borrowed from http://www.inspire21.com

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, transformational coach, Author, and Professional Speaker. To learn more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com

How to Deal with Rejection: My Personal Story – Part 1:


Feelings of rejection are normally reflections of past events or experiences that made and still make us feel left out. We probably tried to reach out to someone and he/she ignored us. There are several reasons why we develop feelings of rejection. And for the most part, these feelings have a way of making us feel insecure. Some people develop introvert personalities to protect themselves from being rejected again. Feelings of rejection can also create frustration, anger, resentment, sadness and ultimately, isolation.

Child walking alone

In this article, I will share a personal experience about rejection, how this experience made me feel, and how a fashion-modeling instructor helped me regain my confidence. In part 2 of this article, I will then share the 4 proven tools that I utilized to liberate myself from feelings of rejection.

My Story

I didn’t grow up with my biological father. There were times when I missed him so much, so I would escape from home and go to his family with intent to bond with them.

When I was 13 years old, I remember escaping from home to go to an auntie’s home (my dad’s sister), who happened to live about 7 miles away. I found my auntie and her kids having lunch. When she saw me, she told me that I should never go back to her home: that I wasn’t needed, and in her opinion, I wasn’t part of her family. She also told me that even if they had extra food to share, she would rather throw it in the trash than give it to me. “I hate you,” she said. I asked her why she hated me, and she told me that she could never allow her kids to associate with someone as needy, ugly and poor as I was. As I walked the seven miles back home, in the scolding heat, hungry and thirsty, I cried hysterically. I felt rejected and sad. And I believe that was the day I developed a mental conclusion that I was a societal reject.

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What this Experience did to me:

For many years I felt that I wasn’t good enough. At the back of my mind, I consistently heard my auntie telling me how needy, ugly and poor I was. Consequently, I lost my confidence. I didn’t feel good about myself. I concluded that no one liked me; and as a result, I isolated myself. I dropped all my friends and took refuge in reading books. And what was strange is that the kids at school and in my neighborhood also started rejecting me. Teachers would pick on me. I initiated conflicts with the few friends who stuck with me because I thought that it would be easier to break up with them sooner than later–since I was convinced that in the end, they would also reject me. I was always sad.

As of today, and after many years of studying human behavior, and psychology, I understand that since I was convinced that I would always be rejected, my brain looked for ways and experiences for me to be rejected–so that I didn’t think that I was crazy. I have also learned that whatever stories we tell ourselves, about who we are, are reflected in our experiences.

How a Fashion-modeling Instructor Helped me.

When I was 20 years old, in college, my friends persuaded me to participate in the Miss Uganda Beauty Contest. By that time, I thought I was over my auntie’s story. But the moment I went through the preliminary screening process, my auntie’s voice started mumbling at the back of my mind consistently; “You can never win; you are seriously ugly; no one will vote for you” the voice went on and on with all kinds of negative messages about what was wrong with me.  Every time we were practicing the catwalk or how to pose for pictures, I would shiver, and at times even cry. At one point I wanted to quit the contest because I was convinced that the judges would reject me at first sight. But my mother kept encouraging me to move forward.

One afternoon as we prepared for the Miss Photogenic portion of the contest, I went to the restroom, sat in one corner and started crying. Soon after, the modeling instructor came to the restroom and saw me weeping. She came and sat next to me.

“Why are you crying?” she said. I didn’t know how to explain how I felt.

“Common, tell me. Maybe I can help you.” She continued.

“I don’t think I’m good enough. I think the judges will reject me.”

“Who told you that?” She questioned.

Amidst tears, I summarized my auntie’s story.

“How long ago did your auntie tell you this nonsense?” She asked.

“About 7 years ago,” I answered.

She then held my hand and said, “Never let anyone’s perception of you determine how you should feel about yourself. You have the power to replace the bad things that people have said to you, with the good things that you want to feel about yourself.” She explained. These statements were like light bulbs in my mind. They helped me realize that in spite of what my auntie had told me, I still had the power to decide how I could feel about myself.

Rescued

The instructor helped me off the floor, quickly re-did my makeup and off to the stage, I went feeling much better about myself. And although I didn’t win the Miss photogenic contest, I felt energetic and hopeful that I would eventually love myself unconditionally. While I knew that this would take time, the instructor’s advice had laid a firm foundation for me to start changing my self-concept.

Over the years, and now as a counselor and transformational coach, I have referred to this story to continue empowering myself and also help my clients deal with rejection-related insecurities. And I always remember what Dr. Wayne Dyer once said; “it is not the snake bite that kills a person; it’s the venom.” This means that it’s not what people say to you that affect you; it’s how you interpret it.

In part 2 of this article, I will share the 4 proven tools that I used to regain my confidence and develop a healthier self-esteem.

Love and light

www.tapthegood.com

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The Most Powerful Self-Improvement Question


As the year ends, other than spending a lot of money on gifts and preparing for the holiday celebrations, we get prompted to think about what we’ve achieved during the year, what we’ve lost, what we want to achieve the following year, what to change about ourselves, how to change, financial goals, relationships goals…the list goes on.

Many, (and I plead guilty for doing this for a number of years,) have long given up on the annual-goal setting exercise because they either never follow-through with their goals, or simply, for some reason, fail to achieve their goals. So, for the fear of failing again, they negate or ignore annual resolutions.

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However, I have discovered that there is a single question that I have asked myself each year, and have also recommended for my clients, that doesn’t only help to re-establish personal worth, but also leads to new insights about self. Also, this question has somehow led me into evaluating my finance, friendship, business and future related goals.

The question is: “What do I deserve?”

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When you take time to contemplate on, and answer this question, I suggest that you consider thinking about what you are tolerating, let it be partnerships, a job (if you are employed), lifestyle, friendships—to mention but a few. After establishing what you might be tolerating, proceed to analyze what you think you deserve and why. Before you are done, you will have your most important new goals ready for your execution.

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If you discover that you are tolerating more than you think, then contact me at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ for a complimentary personal coaching/counseling session to establish how I can help you take your power back and become the authority of your life.

Looking for a good book to read during the holidays? Check out, Do not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Tap Into One’s Infinite Potential, Develop a Profound Positive Attitude and Live Life on Your Terms.

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Happy holidays

Love and light

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Published Author, Counselor, Personal Coach, Professional Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com