It is Time to Surrender – 3 Proven Psychological Steps to Help you Surrender


Are you attached to a desire or goal and finding it hard to surrender to the process?

Does your passion/desire for your goal stress you out?

Are you worried that you might not achieve your goal?

Well, maybe it is time to surrender. And to do so, I have recorded this VIDEO with 3 proven psychological tools to help you detach from your goal, and instead focus on the goals as you also enjoy every moment of the process.

I know this will help.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/F2qpkBwEtqs

Please do not forget to share with friends or family who might need these tips.

Love and light.

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA

Author, Spiritual Counselor, Corporate Trainer, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

 

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Have Faith – Based on a Powerful Inspirational Story – Audio Recording


In this week’s inspirational blog, I share a story about having faith. Faith, in my opinion is that consistent profound, soothing inner state, that convinces us that everything will be okay. We all need faith to inspire our confidence and help us push forward regardless of the obstacles that we may be facing.

In this audio recording, I share the story. Please send the audio link to anyone who might need it.

Link to audio – https://youtu.be/ABGBurvxmvw

In the interim, I’m sending you God’s love and light.

Want to read a good book that will inspire fear to take a hike out of your system? Check out my book – Do Not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on Your Terms.

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**Inspirational story borrowed from http://www.inspire21.com

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, transformational coach, Author, and Professional Speaker. To learn more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com

How to Deal with Rejection: My Personal Story – Part 1:


Feelings of rejection are normally reflections of past events or experiences that made and still make us feel left out. We probably tried to reach out to someone and he/she ignored us. There are several reasons why we develop feelings of rejection. And for the most part, these feelings have a way of making us feel insecure. Some people develop introvert personalities to protect themselves from being rejected again. Feelings of rejection can also create frustration, anger, resentment, sadness and ultimately, isolation.

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In this article, I will share a personal experience about rejection, how this experience made me feel, and how a fashion-modeling instructor helped me regain my confidence. In part 2 of this article, I will then share the 4 proven tools that I utilized to liberate myself from feelings of rejection.

My Story

I didn’t grow up with my biological father. There were times when I missed him so much, so I would escape from home and go to his family with intent to bond with them.

When I was 13 years old, I remember escaping from home to go to an auntie’s home (my dad’s sister), who happened to live about 7 miles away. I found my auntie and her kids having lunch. When she saw me, she told me that I should never go back to her home: that I wasn’t needed, and in her opinion, I wasn’t part of her family. She also told me that even if they had extra food to share, she would rather throw it in the trash than give it to me. “I hate you,” she said. I asked her why she hated me, and she told me that she could never allow her kids to associate with someone as needy, ugly and poor as I was. As I walked the seven miles back home, in the scolding heat, hungry and thirsty, I cried hysterically. I felt rejected and sad. And I believe that was the day I developed a mental conclusion that I was a societal reject.

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What this Experience did to me:

For many years I felt that I wasn’t good enough. At the back of my mind, I consistently heard my auntie telling me how needy, ugly and poor I was. Consequently, I lost my confidence. I didn’t feel good about myself. I concluded that no one liked me; and as a result, I isolated myself. I dropped all my friends and took refuge in reading books. And what was strange is that the kids at school and in my neighborhood also started rejecting me. Teachers would pick on me. I initiated conflicts with the few friends who stuck with me because I thought that it would be easier to break up with them sooner than later–since I was convinced that in the end, they would also reject me. I was always sad.

As of today, and after many years of studying human behavior, and psychology, I understand that since I was convinced that I would always be rejected, my brain looked for ways and experiences for me to be rejected–so that I didn’t think that I was crazy. I have also learned that whatever stories we tell ourselves, about who we are, are reflected in our experiences.

How a Fashion-modeling Instructor Helped me.

When I was 20 years old, in college, my friends persuaded me to participate in the Miss Uganda Beauty Contest. By that time, I thought I was over my auntie’s story. But the moment I went through the preliminary screening process, my auntie’s voice started mumbling at the back of my mind consistently; “You can never win; you are seriously ugly; no one will vote for you” the voice went on and on with all kinds of negative messages about what was wrong with me.  Every time we were practicing the catwalk or how to pose for pictures, I would shiver, and at times even cry. At one point I wanted to quit the contest because I was convinced that the judges would reject me at first sight. But my mother kept encouraging me to move forward.

One afternoon as we prepared for the Miss Photogenic portion of the contest, I went to the restroom, sat in one corner and started crying. Soon after, the modeling instructor came to the restroom and saw me weeping. She came and sat next to me.

“Why are you crying?” she said. I didn’t know how to explain how I felt.

“Common, tell me. Maybe I can help you.” She continued.

“I don’t think I’m good enough. I think the judges will reject me.”

“Who told you that?” She questioned.

Amidst tears, I summarized my auntie’s story.

“How long ago did your auntie tell you this nonsense?” She asked.

“About 7 years ago,” I answered.

She then held my hand and said, “Never let anyone’s perception of you determine how you should feel about yourself. You have the power to replace the bad things that people have said to you, with the good things that you want to feel about yourself.” She explained. These statements were like light bulbs in my mind. They helped me realize that in spite of what my auntie had told me, I still had the power to decide how I could feel about myself.

Rescued

The instructor helped me off the floor, quickly re-did my makeup and off to the stage, I went feeling much better about myself. And although I didn’t win the Miss photogenic contest, I felt energetic and hopeful that I would eventually love myself unconditionally. While I knew that this would take time, the instructor’s advice had laid a firm foundation for me to start changing my self-concept.

Over the years, and now as a counselor and transformational coach, I have referred to this story to continue empowering myself and also help my clients deal with rejection-related insecurities. And I always remember what Dr. Wayne Dyer once said; “it is not the snake bite that kills a person; it’s the venom.” This means that it’s not what people say to you that affect you; it’s how you interpret it.

In part 2 of this article, I will share the 4 proven tools that I used to regain my confidence and develop a healthier self-esteem.

Love and light

www.tapthegood.com

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The Most Powerful Self-Improvement Question


As the year ends, other than spending a lot of money on gifts and preparing for the holiday celebrations, we get prompted to think about what we’ve achieved during the year, what we’ve lost, what we want to achieve the following year, what to change about ourselves, how to change, financial goals, relationships goals…the list goes on.

Many, (and I plead guilty for doing this for a number of years,) have long given up on the annual-goal setting exercise because they either never follow-through with their goals, or simply, for some reason, fail to achieve their goals. So, for the fear of failing again, they negate or ignore annual resolutions.

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However, I have discovered that there is a single question that I have asked myself each year, and have also recommended for my clients, that doesn’t only help to re-establish personal worth, but also leads to new insights about self. Also, this question has somehow led me into evaluating my finance, friendship, business and future related goals.

The question is: “What do I deserve?”

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When you take time to contemplate on, and answer this question, I suggest that you consider thinking about what you are tolerating, let it be partnerships, a job (if you are employed), lifestyle, friendships—to mention but a few. After establishing what you might be tolerating, proceed to analyze what you think you deserve and why. Before you are done, you will have your most important new goals ready for your execution.

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If you discover that you are tolerating more than you think, then contact me at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ for a complimentary personal coaching/counseling session to establish how I can help you take your power back and become the authority of your life.

Looking for a good book to read during the holidays? Check out, Do not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Tap Into One’s Infinite Potential, Develop a Profound Positive Attitude and Live Life on Your Terms.

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Happy holidays

Love and light

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Published Author, Counselor, Personal Coach, Professional Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

Does What You Want Deserve You?


Often times who crave to get certain things in life. We crave for jobs, relationships, cars, etc, only to get them and start craving for different things. At times when we get what we have been longing for, this is when we realize that it doesn’t resonate with our personal standards.

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As a counselor and coach, I have discovered that people long for what they don’t really want. They tend to focus so much on the  wanted “thing” instead of the feelings that the ‘thing” will elicit in them when they get it. For example; a woman craves to attract a man. And when she does, she realizes that she deserves better. This is when she also discovers that she didn’t evaluate what she particularly deserves before she established what she wanted.

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My simple advice is that before you start working towards achieving a set goal, let it be a woman, man, job, promotion, car, etc, ask yourself if this goal reflects on your standards, values, and self esteem. The starting point is to evaluate how you value yourself. What makes you, you? What’s your worth?

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As you ponder on the above, I have a resource for you. My book, Do Not Force It, Tap The Good: How to Tap into one’s Inner Infinite Intelligence, Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on his/her Termswill help you evaluate your personal standards, and then challenge you to upgrade your self-worth. 

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Check out the book on CD, Kindle, Audio and Paper back.

links to the book:

Kindle – https://www.amazon.com/not-Force-TAP-GOOD-Intelligence-ebook/dp/B006JNBGDW

Paper back – http://www.amazon.com/Do-not-Force-TAP-GOOD/dp/1461079098

Audible – http://www.amazon.com/Do-Not-Force-Tap-Good/dp/B008JAEXRE?ie=UTF8&qid=&ref_=tmm_aud_swatch_0&sr=

CD – http://www.amazon.com/Do-Not-Force-Tap-Good/dp/0985379103/ref=tmm_abk_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Have a great week ahead.

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com