To begin, what are abusive relationships?
Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not.
In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.
What are the different forms of abuse?
The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.
- Saying Lies About You
When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.
- Lying to You
When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.
- Verbal Insults
This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies.
- Judgment and criticism
We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.
- Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.
Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?
In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.
Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k
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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.