There’s no Such Thing as “Failure”


depositphotos_13984100-stock-illustration-cartoon-eager-student“Give an example of a company experiencing financial trouble because of its promotional strategy?” Asked the professor. I gave an example of a company I had worked for in Uganda. “Please do not give ridiculous answers from countries that do not qualify for advanced European MBA programs.” He responded. I knew that I was in trouble because the only business-related work experience I had was in Uganda. 

I was pursuing an MBA from the Greenwich School of Management, a branch of Hull University, Hull, UK. Most of my classmates were from Europe or at the least had experience working for European-based businesses. During the first semester I did poorly in the class assignments and presentations. I hardly made the required points to proceed to the next semester. The professors told me that if I didn’t learn about the European market, I would fail the degree. I had given myself a year to complete the program—acceptable by the college, because I didn’t have the extra money to pay for another year. 

I sought for advice from one of my professors. “I think I’m already a failure.” I said miserably. “You can never fail. You will only fail to know that you didn’t fail. Even when we think we’ve failed, we still acted but just didn’t achieve our goals as anticipated. And that’s not a failure. Failure is an illusion.” He responded. I looked at him almost cross-eyed. I had no clue about what he meant. Desperate, I got a part-time job in a library and buried myself in reading everything I could get my hands on about the European economy. Long story short, I completed the degree in a year, passed with distinction and my thesis, earned me a “student of the year award.”

Failure

Moral of the Story:

I thought I had failed, only to realize that the results of my first semester were propelling me to work harder. And I concur with my professor’s wisdom. We never fail. Failure is just a word we come up with to summarize a process that has nothing to do with the real meaning of the word. The dictionary defines the word failure as a lack of success or non-fulfillment. When you consider what success means you realize that what we consider as failure is far from the truth. Success is being able to move from point A to B, internally or externally. Success can also imply committing to a promise made for oneself or for others. Success can mean progressing or moving through a process even if we don’t get to the end. Therefore, “failure” has no place in defining our actions plus the results. 

It’s vital to understand that words as just that….words. Therefore, we shouldn’t be quick to define our emotions by recruiting words that do not necessarily reflect on our true emotions. Words can be limiting, misleading and/or mis-representative of the truth. Sometimes if not most, we can not define feelings because they are in-definitive in their nature. They have no shape, color, size or density — if we do not create visuals to represent them. So, the words we use to define feelings are just attempts to express ourselves. Just because you feel a certain way for not achieving a particular goal doesn’t mean that you are a failure. A conclusive definition of a feeling as a failure, is just a believed thought and nothing more.

A conclusive definition of a feeling as a failure, is just a believed thought and nothing more.  

Therefore, let’s be slow in defining our experiences or outcomes. Let’s hold back from assigning meanings to our feelings. Let’s become observers of our feelings and see how long they can hold the emotional space in which they dwell. Mostly, let’s remember that we are not our thoughts, feelings or experiences. We are more; we are different; we are undefinable. Moreover, we have an immeasurable power within us, as us, that can help our human conditioning release the delusional tendencies and mental, plus emotional struggles we create: struggles that are lies and not based on truths.

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

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What are Challenges?


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When you are experiencing challenges ask yourself:

  1. Who is the experiencer of these challenges?
  2. Why is this experiencer experiencing these events as challenges?
  3. How did the experiencer come to a conclusion that these events are challenges?
  4. Is this experiencer perceiving these events from a place of fear or faith?
  5. And most importantly, ask, does the experiencer really have to experience these events at all?
  6. What can happen if this experiencer retracts their attention from what they perceive as challenges and instead focus on something more pleasant?

As you dwell on the answers of these questions you start discovering that what you perceive as challenges are simply events that need your attention to resolve or ignore—especially if you can’t do anything about them. From these mental and emotional states, you free yourself from the discomforting consequences of your perception.

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

How We Create Insanity: An Excerpt from my upcoming book – “The Sanity Warrior”


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Insanity begins by creating stories that are delusional: delusional in the sense that we normally don’t have practical evidence of our conclusive thoughts. For instance, we predict our future based on what happened in the past, or based on stories of other people. We also base our future predictions on present experiences and conclude with certainty that our lives will manifest the same way they are manifesting now. What’s interesting is that as we engross our minds in these predictions, we develop profound beliefs about our futures, and just like magic, our futures manifest as we predicted. So, we literally create our present and future realities as we continue to emotionally and mentally visualize experiences rooted on false facts. And because we’ve been given the free-will to think and visualize as we please, we’ve also been given the power to create our realities. But we forget or neglect this truth and blame everyone and everything out of ourselves for our experiences. Yet, we create our own suffering: because suffering is a personal inner experience (call it an emotion) that we consciously or unconsciously choose to feel. 

To summarize the preceding precepts, we live insanely because we’ve forgotten who we truly are, and what we are capable of. We forget, or are never convinced that our thoughts are powerful—and that they create. We neglect that no one and nothing has power over our emotions, except our own choices. We forget the basic truth that we cannot control anyone else but ourselves. Moreover, people are always changing their approach towards everything they do. Today someone might be kind and loving, and tomorrow he/she could be rude and/or sad. The more comfortable we get with our environments and the people we deal with, the more we relax our guard and reveal what’s inside of us. What’s inside depends on the number, diversity and intensity of experiences that someone has had all their lives; the related beliefs they’ve developed about their lives, life, and the world in general, plus relationships. What’s inside each one of us is complex. Therefore, regardless of how knowledgeable anyone is in subjects like psychology and/or human behavior, he/she can never be at the same pace with what consistently influences people to perceive and act the way they do.

Unfortunately, we go about life trying to change people; blaming them for being who they are, expecting them to love and accept us for who we are; thinking that we have the power to influence their actions, and that they owe us what we want to experience. When we believe that anyone owes us what we want to experience, then we have literally given them the power to choose our experiences based on what they know. We gain this mentality when we forget or negate that we experience who are. There is nothing without perception; also implying that if you don’t perceive something that “thing” does not exist in your reality. Because perception is a projection, we perceive according to what we have already created in our inner worlds: what we believe, what we consistently think about, and the stories we’ve created.

Therefore, if you don’t perceive it, it doesn’t exist. That’s why sometimes when you are crying over something, other people could celebrate over it. And it’s because we are all different—we have different opinions. Hence, everyone is doing the best they can with the mental, emotional and spiritual resources they’ve created within themselves. This also implies that what people do is their business. It’s their idea of expression and experience. So, it is insane to stress over what people do; considering that we have a choice to perceive things as we want, or decide not to experience what we don’t want. It’s because of this gift of free-will that God awarded us that we have also created a world of sorts. Sorts, in that the experiences we all individually create are so drastically different; some are extremely pleasurable if perceived that way, and others, sorrowful. It takes more than wishful thinking to stay connected to our true nature: a nature that consistently reveals its uniqueness through the selection of our perceptions and hence experiences.

Stay tuned for the book release date….

http://www.tapthegood.com

Keep Shinning Regardless – An Inspirational Message


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Have you ever shared your dream with someone only to be discouraged?

Have you ever been so certain about the direction that you want to take only to be told by someone you trust that you are going to fail?

If you answered yes, to any of the above questions then you understand how it feels when someone tries to blow out your light….damn your enthusiasm.

Apparently, it’s human nature for one to damn someone else’s light if theirs isn’t shinning. Remember that misery loves company, and if you are in company with people who have given up on their dreams, don’t expect them to inspire you.

Note that people who feel insecure about their own qualities will attempt to make others feel that way. They will devise mental plots to get you to start doubting yourself.

Furthermore, if one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness. They don’t want to experience anything different. Their brains have settled, and it normally takes some mental and emotional work for them to snap out of their illusion and start shinning their own light. Therefore, if you share your dream with someone in that mental state, be sure to receive discouragement.

“If one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness”

The next question is, what do you do if someone discourages you?

The answer lies in the very reason why you want to pursue your goal. Your why, should matter more than what anyone else says about you or your goals. Besides, what others think or say about you is their business: that’s their model of the world. Whatever one is projecting in their mind has nothing to do with you. Your business is what’s brewing in your own mind. Therefore, you can’t let naysayers retard your decision to move forward with your dream. Remember, no one but you has the power to put out your light. You are the master of your enthusiasm and your inner thrill, and it’s really up to you to keep shinning no matter what.

“No one but you has the power to put out your light.”

Serena Williams

In this video, I share a few tips that you can use to keep your light shinning. The tips are simple and I’m certain that you already know about them. However, sometimes it helps when we are reminded that the answers and solutions we seek for are always within us.

 

 

 

 

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

Check out the inspirational books below that will help you to ignite your passion to live at the utmost potential, which already dwells within you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 MENTAL TOOLS TO SURVIVE CHALLENGING TIMES


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Of late, turbulent times seem to be more common than peaceful times. The main, yet less obvious reason for experiencing turbulent times is because we’ve let the external world and whatever happens in it to determine the way we feel. The first step then, is to take full responsibility of the way we feel and then tap into our inexhaustible mental resources in order to get a grip of our feelings. Once we are less attached to our experiences or needs/wants, we access our inbuilt God-given clarity and enthusiasm to pursue our goals without the related stress

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In this video, I share 7 mental tools that are guaranteed to help you survive challenging times. Read them, identify those tools that you relate to the most, embrace, then employ them to help you get a grip of your mind, strengthen it, then move past the challenges. 

Link to the video -https://youtu.be/e2qMxnmToSM

Please share this content with those you think will benefit. 

Subscribe to my YouTube channel for obvious reasons. 🙂 – http://www.youtube.com/MsJacent/

This article was written by Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She is a transformational coach, counselor, professional speaker and published author. For more about her, please visit http://www.tapthegood.com

 

It’s Always the Right Time to Let Go: An EFT Session to Help You Let Go of the Past


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Does your past often haunt you?
Do you often feel validated to think negatively?

Does your mind ramble on and on about a negative past experience?

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Well, regardless of what happened to you in the past, it’s always the right time to let it go. Letting go of our negative stories only benefits us. When we let go of negative self-talk however validated we might feel, we create space in our minds to focus on more positive empowering stories. Remember, we deserve to feel good all the time no matter what.

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In this EFT session, I help you to let go of any negative story that could be running at the back of your mind.

Link to Session Video Recording  – https://youtu.be/b8-1sxYUAOo

Please share with those who might benefit from this session.

Looking for a powerful inspirational book to read, check out, Do Not Force It, Tap The Good: 

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is a published author, Transformational Coach, Counselor and Professional speaker. She is always a, EFT Master Practitioner and Advanced Ho’oponopono Master Practitioner, Reiki Master, Sharmanic energy healer. For more about her, please check out http://www.tapthegood.com

Tired of Attracting Abusive Men? 3 Tips to Unlock The Subconscious Related- Chains


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Are you sick and tired of attracting abusive men?

You might have daddy issues. Read on!!

It is not only biologically vital but also spiritually imperative to grow up with our parents, mom and dad, or the equivalent, for us to develop and sustain positive-infused mindsets. Although overlooked, without both your parents in the picture as a child, you are bound to search for whoever was missing in the people you meet in your adult life. And that can be very frustrating.

Note that one is also impliedly psychologically and emotionally abused if their father or father figure was always absent in their younger days.

In this article, you will identify one of the problems created by not having a father figure or having an abusive one, and learn three simple techniques that will liberate you from this problem in order to develop healthier relationships with the men in your life.

The Problem:

Without a father figure in your life, you miss out on the security and comfort that a father figure provides (especially one with a healthy mind). A father is literally the first adult male you are introduced to, or is supposed to be introduced to when you are born. As such, he represents men in general and especially how men relate or should relate to women. Your father introduces you to the first standards that you believe every man should possess. If you saw your father treating your mom with respect, you tend to attract or choose men who understand how to treat a woman with respect.

If especially you witnessed your father abusing you or any other members of your family and never stopped abusing them, and/or never apologized, chances are that you have subconscious anger that’s not only directed towards your father, but all men.  The consequences are that you will continue unconsciously seeking out men with behaviors similar to your dad with hope that they might abuse you and then apologize to make up for what your father didn’t do. However, even if you attract men who are apologetic for abusing you, they will not compensate for your father’s abuse. Therefore, you will continue seeking for abusive men, over and over again until you deal with your early father-figure programming.

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The Solution:

Note that the tips I share below are not exhaustive of all the techniques and tools that you can employ to heal your early negative father-programming.

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Take time and write all your early father negative experiences, or no-father negative experiences. Be as detailed as possible. To guide you, you can answer the following questions:

  1. What exactly happened?
  2. Who was there?
  3. What did your father do, didn’t do, or should have done?
  4. In case you didn’t have a father figure as a child, how did this make you feel?
  5. How did those experiences make you feel about your father and men in general?
  6. How did these experiences make you feel about yourself?

Re-examine all the related feelings about yourself that were developed because of your earlier father/no father negative programming

Go through this simple EFT and Ho’oponopono to stop attracting abusive relationships session 

Click HERE to access the video recording.

If you want more, order the Daddy Issues Meditation CD from http://tapthegood.com/spiritualservices/

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Or buy my book (Love, Men and Money: How to Attract and Retain them) with detailed EFT and counseling scripts at www.tapthegood.com/books/ or from Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Love-Men-Money-Attract-Retain/dp/1480094897/

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Or sign up for my complimentary 30 minutes consultation session to set up counseling sessions that are guaranteed to help you take your power back from the negative past in order to live life on your terms.

Click HERE to sign up.

Dr. Jacinta Mpa, Ph.D., MBA, is a published author, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, visit www.tapthegood.com.

Subscribe to her YouTube Channel to take advantage of the complimentary counseling or coaching videos – http://www.youtube.com/user/MsJacent

Twitter – @cinta_mcinta

LinkedIn – http://www.linkedIn.com/drjacintampalyenkana/

Face book – https://www.facebook.com/tapthegood/