Four Tips to Deal with Rejection: Part 2:


In part 1 of this article, “How to Deal with Rejection – based on a personal story”, I shared a personal story about one of my childhood experiences of rejection. I’m certain that you or someone you know has gone through similar or maybe even worse experiences.

In this article, I share 4 tips that helped me deal with rejection and build a healthier self-esteem. And although I appreciate the fact that your experiences or those of your loved ones might be different, I’m also certain that anyone will be able to customize these tips and make them their own in order to resolve any rejection related emotional issues that they might be experiencing.

Tip 1: Know That no one can Reject You.

As weird as it might sound, believe me when I say that no one can actually reject you. One of the meanings of rejection is to be eliminated. And in my opinion, no one can eliminate you per-say. One might eliminate your presence from a scene, or disregard what you say, but he/she can never eliminate your existence. Chances are that what you perceive as rejection is an incident where someone probably did not resonate with, understand, or agree with whatever you were presenting or offering. However, with all due respect, this doesn’t mean that the entire awesome you was discarded.

Therefore, the first tip you can employ to deal with rejection-related emotions is to change your perception of the word, rejection and how it applies to you as an individual.

No one can reject you

Tip 2: Know that People’s Actions are Their Business.

As you deal with the rejection-related emotions, understand that perception is projection. Behavior is founded on internal representations: meaning that people behave as they have learned to, based on their beliefs and thought processes, mental, emotional and spiritual states. Everyone is doing the best they can with the internal resources they have. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement, “squeeze an orange and you get orange juice.” When someone is filled with anger, sadness or whatever other emotions that they might have, that’s exactly what’s going to come out of them as they perceive the world, as well as act. Therefore, if someone rejects something about you, this has nothing to do with you. It is their business. That’s how they know how to operate. Note that at that point in time, your presence or whatever they rejected triggered a decision within them to reject. Consequently, you can’t take things personally. And most importantly, you have to forgive them for their actions because they probably didn’t even realize that there was anything wrong with the way they acted. Just as you can’t expect mango juice to come out of an orange, you can’t expect a person filled with rudeness or anger to treat you with kindness or non-judgment.

If my actions dont concern you
Tip 3: Take 100% Responsibility Of Your Emotions:

When we take full responsibility of our negative emotions, we take our power back from whoever we have blamed for the way we feel. By taking full responsibility for the rejection-related negative emotions, we get to understand that no one has the power to make us feel a certain way; and that we have the power to heal ourselves. This process begins by identifying all those negative emotions that you are feeling. Write them down. Examine each one of them to identify the root causes. Establish if the root causes are really based on truths. For instance, if one of the negative related emotions you are dealing with is sadness, the root cause is what the person said or did, that made you believe that you are a reject. When you examine tip 1, you realize that you are not really a reject. Tip 2, is telling you that whatever the person did is not your business. Consequently, your perceptions are not founded on the truth. You are not a reject. Therefore, you just have to let the sadness go because it is built on lies.

The next step is to forgive yourself for being sad for the wrong reasons. Here’s a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUjtMRS_5k) with a forgiveness process that I recorded a few years ago. To access the link, please copy and paste the link in a new browser, then click “enter.”

You are your hell

Tip 4: Know That You Can Create a New And Better Story About Your Self-Image

The thoughts and related beliefs about being rejection are founded on a story you created based on an experience that you believed to be the truth. Note that just as you created this story, you also have the power to erase it and then create a new and better story about how you want to feel about yourself. You can do this by thinking about how you want to perceive your self-image. Decide how you want to be perceived. Write these attributes down. Read them to yourself every day until you believe them as the truth. For instance, you can write statements such; I accept and love myself just as I am. I am worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I respect myself—you get the idea. The fundamental thing to do is to think and believe these statements as the truth. And by doing this, you will be writing a better story that will improve your perception of yourself.
create a new story
Please note that although these tips are simplified, they helped me deal with my rejection-related negative emotions and I believe they can help you or anyone else. The idea is to make the tips your own, do the work on yourself, and remember that persistence and repetition are necessary ingredients required to establish and reinforce desired change.

The author is Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She’s an author, speaker, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, please check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Looking for a good inspirational book to empower and inspire you? Look no further. Click HERE to read THE book. 

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Dealing the Issue of Public Nudity


In today’s world, public nudity is becoming more common than unusual. And when I refer to public nudity, I’m referring to people basically getting into a mental state that triggers them to undress down to nothing.

In this recording, I, and my host, Jay Black share our different psychological, cultural and societal perceptions of the impact of public nudity on society.

Here’s the link to the recording – https://youtu.be/v9I90jFnYUY

Public nudity

Please join in, share your views, and let us know if there are issues that you want us to talk about in our new weekly recordings.

In the interim, I’m sending you lots of God’s love and light.

Remember, whatever it is, do not force it, tap the good.

Love and light

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

www.tapthegood.com

 

 

EFT Session to Get Unstuck From an Abusive Relationship


Do you feel stuck in a relationship that makes you feel like buying a big rope and tying it around your neck?

In this EFT RECORDED SESSION, I take you through a process to release your grip on any abusive relationship you may be involved in–whether it’s a job, friendship or love.

LINK to video – https://youtu.be/_zlrg7jBNh8

Freedom

If there are any issues that you would like me to deal with using EFT, psychology or Hooponopono, please include the details in the comments.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

http://www.tapthegood.com

Why Worry when you can’t change “it”? A Powerful Tip to Beat Worry.


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In this short video, I share a common tip to help you deal with worry. I tend to write so much about emotional freedom because in addition to this being my expertise, I appreciate the fact that the world of late is going insane. I mean, look around you. There is so much to worry about if you don’t choose to focus on something else more empowering.

worrying

Also, please remember to save the date: March 1st, 2017, is Global Worry Free Day. This is a day of gratitude and giving back. Please spread the news.

pleanuts-worry-cartoon

In the interim, enjoy my short video and the stories within. I’m show it will make you feel better. 🙂

Link to video – https://youtu.be/fNC-5r8z4_8  (Copy link and paste in new browser)

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Your Personal Transformational Coach

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

THREE TIPS TO INSTANTLY RESOLVE NEGATIVE FEELINGS


In this video, I share three proven tips to help one resolve negative feelings however intense.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/IR_RoWjZ50I. Just copy and paste the link in your browse.

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

Counselor, Success Coach (EFT Master Practitioner, NLP Master Practitioner, Quantum Mind Healer, Reiki Master), Professional Speaker, Author

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

How Stress Can Kill You!


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“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”

− The late comedian George Burns, who lived to 100

According to an article by the Heart Institution (https://heartmdinstitute.com/stress-relief/what-stress-can-do-to-your-body/), the physiological changes produced by stress include increased heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and muscle tension that serve to supply adequate blood to your brain and musculoskeletal system. Higher levels of free fatty acids and blood sugar are released to provide immediate energy to survive the perceived emergency. This is what we call the well-known “fight or flight response.”

stress 3

Long-term chronic stress can wreck your nervous system through a cyclic adrenaline rush. It can cause oxidative damage to tissues in the body that leads to inflammation. It can stoke symptoms such as headache, achy neck, ulcer, allergies, and diminished sexual desire. Eventually, your body will adapt to a continued state of vigilance by producing an excess amount of the stress hormone cortisol. Too much stress, over time, can exhaust you (you “burn out”), your adrenal glands where cortisol is produced, and accelerate the aging process, harm your immune system, and even shrink vital brain tissue resulting in memory loss and problems with concentration.

This scenario is the leading but often overlooked cause of insomnia and a major contributor to mental ills (depression, obsessive compulsive and anxiety disorders), as well as physical diseases ranging from the common cold, recurrent herpes and obesity, to AIDS and cancer. It is hard to think of any disease in which stress cannot play a precipitating or aggravating role.

What develops is a vicious cycle. Add in sedentary living, sleep deprivation, abuse of stimulants, hostility, smoking, social isolation, and an unhealthy diet, and things really do go downhill.

stressed-out-woman

Can Stress Kill You?

Absolutely…Acute stress is the leading cause of sudden death, especially in young healthy people with no evidence of coronary disease. But it can fell people at any age. My grandmother is an example.

Chronic stress causes heart disease. It is a clandestine cause − not fat or cholesterol − of heart attacks and arterial disease. It contributes to high blood pressure (hypertension), a risk factor for cardiovascular problems such as heart failure and sudden cardiac death and heart enlargement.

Long-term depression significantly increases the risk of heart disease. Among other effects, it actually triples the disease producing effect of smoking.

In cardiology, stress is a grim reaper that abruptly ends life by rupturing unstable plaque in a vital vessel or by triggering a lethal disturbance in heart rhythm.

When you get fired up emotionally, you’re putting a torch to your arteries. Medical research has repeatedly documented the danger of anger, chronic stress, and the negative emotional states. Yet these risk factors are rarely addressed by doctors.

How We React to Stress?

Stress comes and goes in all our lives. Your ability to adapt well to things that stress you is key for a good quality of life and health preservation. If you don’t adapt, stress can surely kill. I have no doubt whatsoever.

As a complementary resource, I have attached a resource, an eBook that you can download and use the content to help you deal with stress. In the book, I use the magical tools of EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique, with simplified scripts that you can follow to tap as you tune into an issue that is stressing you.

Please click HERE to leave your details where I can email the free ebook.

Living a stress-free life with EFT - book cover1

Remember, nothing happens if nothing moves.

Take advantage of this free offer, that is available for a limited time only.

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com