What are Challenges?


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When you are experiencing challenges ask yourself:

  1. Who is the experiencer of these challenges?
  2. Why is this experiencer experiencing these events as challenges?
  3. How did the experiencer come to a conclusion that these events are challenges?
  4. Is this experiencer perceiving these events from a place of fear or faith?
  5. And most importantly, ask, does the experiencer really have to experience these events at all?
  6. What can happen if this experiencer retracts their attention from what they perceive as challenges and instead focus on something more pleasant?

As you dwell on the answers of these questions you start discovering that what you perceive as challenges are simply events that need your attention to resolve or ignore—especially if you can’t do anything about them. From these mental and emotional states, you free yourself from the discomforting consequences of your perception.

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

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How We Create Insanity: An Excerpt from my upcoming book – “The Sanity Warrior”


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Insanity begins by creating stories that are delusional: delusional in the sense that we normally don’t have practical evidence of our conclusive thoughts. For instance, we predict our future based on what happened in the past, or based on stories of other people. We also base our future predictions on present experiences and conclude with certainty that our lives will manifest the same way they are manifesting now. What’s interesting is that as we engross our minds in these predictions, we develop profound beliefs about our futures, and just like magic, our futures manifest as we predicted. So, we literally create our present and future realities as we continue to emotionally and mentally visualize experiences rooted on false facts. And because we’ve been given the free-will to think and visualize as we please, we’ve also been given the power to create our realities. But we forget or neglect this truth and blame everyone and everything out of ourselves for our experiences. Yet, we create our own suffering: because suffering is a personal inner experience (call it an emotion) that we consciously or unconsciously choose to feel. 

To summarize the preceding precepts, we live insanely because we’ve forgotten who we truly are, and what we are capable of. We forget, or are never convinced that our thoughts are powerful—and that they create. We neglect that no one and nothing has power over our emotions, except our own choices. We forget the basic truth that we cannot control anyone else but ourselves. Moreover, people are always changing their approach towards everything they do. Today someone might be kind and loving, and tomorrow he/she could be rude and/or sad. The more comfortable we get with our environments and the people we deal with, the more we relax our guard and reveal what’s inside of us. What’s inside depends on the number, diversity and intensity of experiences that someone has had all their lives; the related beliefs they’ve developed about their lives, life, and the world in general, plus relationships. What’s inside each one of us is complex. Therefore, regardless of how knowledgeable anyone is in subjects like psychology and/or human behavior, he/she can never be at the same pace with what consistently influences people to perceive and act the way they do.

Unfortunately, we go about life trying to change people; blaming them for being who they are, expecting them to love and accept us for who we are; thinking that we have the power to influence their actions, and that they owe us what we want to experience. When we believe that anyone owes us what we want to experience, then we have literally given them the power to choose our experiences based on what they know. We gain this mentality when we forget or negate that we experience who are. There is nothing without perception; also implying that if you don’t perceive something that “thing” does not exist in your reality. Because perception is a projection, we perceive according to what we have already created in our inner worlds: what we believe, what we consistently think about, and the stories we’ve created.

Therefore, if you don’t perceive it, it doesn’t exist. That’s why sometimes when you are crying over something, other people could celebrate over it. And it’s because we are all different—we have different opinions. Hence, everyone is doing the best they can with the mental, emotional and spiritual resources they’ve created within themselves. This also implies that what people do is their business. It’s their idea of expression and experience. So, it is insane to stress over what people do; considering that we have a choice to perceive things as we want, or decide not to experience what we don’t want. It’s because of this gift of free-will that God awarded us that we have also created a world of sorts. Sorts, in that the experiences we all individually create are so drastically different; some are extremely pleasurable if perceived that way, and others, sorrowful. It takes more than wishful thinking to stay connected to our true nature: a nature that consistently reveals its uniqueness through the selection of our perceptions and hence experiences.

Stay tuned for the book release date….

http://www.tapthegood.com

Keep Shinning Regardless – An Inspirational Message


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Have you ever shared your dream with someone only to be discouraged?

Have you ever been so certain about the direction that you want to take only to be told by someone you trust that you are going to fail?

If you answered yes, to any of the above questions then you understand how it feels when someone tries to blow out your light….damn your enthusiasm.

Apparently, it’s human nature for one to damn someone else’s light if theirs isn’t shinning. Remember that misery loves company, and if you are in company with people who have given up on their dreams, don’t expect them to inspire you.

Note that people who feel insecure about their own qualities will attempt to make others feel that way. They will devise mental plots to get you to start doubting yourself.

Furthermore, if one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness. They don’t want to experience anything different. Their brains have settled, and it normally takes some mental and emotional work for them to snap out of their illusion and start shinning their own light. Therefore, if you share your dream with someone in that mental state, be sure to receive discouragement.

“If one is stuck in a dark place for a while, understand that they have become accustomed to the darkness”

The next question is, what do you do if someone discourages you?

The answer lies in the very reason why you want to pursue your goal. Your why, should matter more than what anyone else says about you or your goals. Besides, what others think or say about you is their business: that’s their model of the world. Whatever one is projecting in their mind has nothing to do with you. Your business is what’s brewing in your own mind. Therefore, you can’t let naysayers retard your decision to move forward with your dream. Remember, no one but you has the power to put out your light. You are the master of your enthusiasm and your inner thrill, and it’s really up to you to keep shinning no matter what.

“No one but you has the power to put out your light.”

Serena Williams

In this video, I share a few tips that you can use to keep your light shinning. The tips are simple and I’m certain that you already know about them. However, sometimes it helps when we are reminded that the answers and solutions we seek for are always within us.

 

 

 

 

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

Check out the inspirational books below that will help you to ignite your passion to live at the utmost potential, which already dwells within you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What to do When You Feel Uninspired


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How often do you feel uninspired?

What do you do when you keep procrastinating just because you don’t feel the urge to get started on a particular project?

What can you do to inspire yourself?

There are times when I have had projects to pursue: times when I know exactly what to do, how to do it, plus have the resources needed to get started. But for some reason, I couldn’t get started because I felt so uninspired.

Most times it is because my mind is stuck on what things are supposed to be, or shouldn’t be. Other times, I’m thinking about what’s wrong and how wrong it could get. And that’s how the matrix holds each of us captive. We find ourselves knowing what to do and not doing it. It is like you are aware that fire burns but you keep playing with it. You are aware that when you don’t take action nothing will be accomplished, but you don’t take action. What kind of BS is that? lol.

The underlying reason is because we are afraid. Note that we are either hosts of progress or hostages of fear. If your fear doesn’t drive you, you are its hostage. 

One of the ways to snap out of this mind block is to inspire ourselves. However, how do you inspire yourself when you don’t want to do anything? Apparently, you’ve consciously and/or subconsciously driven yourself into this emotional/mental mess. This also implies that if you feel lethargic, and you have lost the grip on how to get out. Yet, it is still up to you to get your stressed-behind out of this mess.  What do you do?

Here are a few steps to get you started on inspiring yourself. 

  1. Know that it is your responsibility to feel good and inspired. Remove the blame from anything or anyone out of yourself. Get a grip of your mind and make it your hostage. Direct your mind to do what you want instead of the other way round. Talk yourself into taking full responsibility of your emotions. 
  2. Remember, or find your why. Go back to the drawing board of why you want to accomplish that goal. For instance, during days when I don’t feel like writing or making videos to inspire my audience, I remember why–which is my life purpose. I know that when I inspire others through the different ways I do, this is the time I feel alive the most. Therefore, find your why.
  3. Meditate. Yes, meditate. Some people think that meditation is for monks. But I attest to the power of meditation. Meditation has helped me overcome some of the ugliest situations in my life. Meditation has rewarded me with a lot of clarity, enthusiasm and unconditional inner peace. It’s mainly through meditation that I get the ideas I write, and record about. The benefits of meditation are inexhaustible. To get started, you can check out my simple morning meditations on gratitude and divine love. The links are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgMpYijDTjU  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk7JhGZOZvU I also suggest that you start your day off with meditating. It makes all the positive difference. 

  4. Exercise: Once you change your physiology, your mood will change. Stand up, stretch, stand in your power pause, go for a walk, do yoga or whatever you can to get moving. This will amplify the production of your happy hormones and then get you inspired to take action. 
  5. Listen to affirmations. Here are a few I’ve recorded. Links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHyp6f8_jp4   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXf_l7hpFqw   
  6. Listen to your favorite music.
  7. Listen to inspirational messages. Some of these messages can be accessed by clicking on these links:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dl-rhzBgOY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flCW8oaRQYM
  8. Read a good book. You can read, Do Not Force it, Tap The Good — guaranteed to inspire you. Link to the book – https://www.amazon.com/Do-not-Force-TAP-GOOD/dp/1461079098

Tap The Good

8. Hire the services of a transformational coach or counselor. I offer 30 minutes complimentary sessions and these can be enough to facilitate your self-inspirational goals. To request for your free session, check out www.tapthegood.com/contact/

I’m certain that there are hundreds of other ways that you can employ to get you inspired. But the ones I have provided above, will create a strong foundation for you to get started on inspiring yourself. 

In the interim, do not worry. Nothing lasts for ever. Every thing will be okay. I promise. 

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Remember to subscribe to my blog, and visit my YouTube channel to access hundreds of inspirational uplifting or problem solving tips I offer every week through my videos. Link – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqdoCgt0iLCT8gBAnXg-HGQ

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PHD, MBA

Author, Transformational Coach, Counselor, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

Believe-in-Miracles.Sending-Love-and-Light-To-Wherever-It-is-Needed

 

 

6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

lying about you

  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

lying to you

  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

verbal abuse

  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

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  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

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Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
  2. When you click on the referenced video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, share and like the video. If you have comments, even better. Please include them in the comments section below.

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If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

Looking for a powerful life-changing self-help book to read? I got you. Click on this link to order your copy.

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.

It’s Always the Right Time to Let Go: An EFT Session to Help You Let Go of the Past


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Does your past often haunt you?
Do you often feel validated to think negatively?

Does your mind ramble on and on about a negative past experience?

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Well, regardless of what happened to you in the past, it’s always the right time to let it go. Letting go of our negative stories only benefits us. When we let go of negative self-talk however validated we might feel, we create space in our minds to focus on more positive empowering stories. Remember, we deserve to feel good all the time no matter what.

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In this EFT session, I help you to let go of any negative story that could be running at the back of your mind.

Link to Session Video Recording  – https://youtu.be/b8-1sxYUAOo

Please share with those who might benefit from this session.

Looking for a powerful inspirational book to read, check out, Do Not Force It, Tap The Good: 

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is a published author, Transformational Coach, Counselor and Professional speaker. She is always a, EFT Master Practitioner and Advanced Ho’oponopono Master Practitioner, Reiki Master, Sharmanic energy healer. For more about her, please check out http://www.tapthegood.com

10 Things To Do When You Feel Frustrated With Life


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Although there are many reasons that incite our frustrations, the main reasons are founded on two major factors: money and relationships.

We get frustrated because we either don’t have money, we are losing money or money is not coming in as expected. We also get frustrated because of the people we deal with: especially because we are all different and view the world from a diverse perspective.

One thing I have learned is that the factors that promote our negative emotions, plus the negative emotions are not as crucial in influencing our emotional well-being as our perception about them. As such, my intention is to share 10 tips that you can use to get out of a frustrated mood regardless of the foundation of your frustrations. Remember,  it is not what happens to us that impacts our lives; it’s how we perceive whatever happens.     

  1. Move

By moving, I mean, changing your physicality. Do yoga, dance, go for a walk, exercise: the idea is to get your body moving. Once your body is moving, your brain will change its focus from the frustration to whatever you are doing.

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“The difference between peak performance and poor performance is not intelligence or ability; most often it’s the state that your mind and body is in.” – Tony Robbins

Note that emotion is created by motion. In other words, emotions are linked to movement in our bodies. Observe your posture when you are happy, as opposed to when you are sad — or what you look like when you are angry, versus when you are elated.

  1. Listen To Inspirational Or Upbeat Music.

I understand that sometimes when you are feeling frustrated or sad you don’t have the guts to listen to anything. But if you are so sick and tired of feeling negative you will do whatever it takes to feel better. Some of the songs I listen to when I’m sad include, but are not limited to the following:

  • The Storm is Over – R Kelley

  • A New Day Has Come – Celine Dion

  • Roar – Katy Perry

  • Departed (Right Here) – Brandy

  • I look to You – Whitney Houston

  • I’m Your Angel – Celine Dion and R Kelly

  • When You Believe – Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey

  • Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

  • One Step at a Time – Jordan Sparks

Note that it is important to spend time making your own list.

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         3. Clean

Cleaning your space has a magical way of making you feel better. As you clean, your mind goes into the cleaning mood.  As such, you implicitly clean the frustration from your mind.

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  1. Imagine receiving $1 Million in your bank account; make a list of how you would spend it.

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  1. Cook

Just go into your kitchen and concoct recipes regardless of what you are cooking. The process will definitely help you divert your mind from the frustration.

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  1. Change your furniture around. Don’t try to be perfect. Just change things around in whichever way you want.

    Change furniture

  1. Go window shopping 

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  1. Meditate.       

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  1. Volunteer

This will help you realize how blessed you are.

    Volunteer

  1. Make big plans.

Just make plans without worrying about the resources required to realize them. Make plans as you focus on the things you want to manifest in your life—imagining that there are no obstacles that can hinder you from achieving your goals.

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Conclusion:

Remember that the difference between where you are emotionally or mentally, and where you want to be, is only a decision away. Once you decide to change your mind about anything, you have literally embarked on a profound journey of getting to your desired destination.

Reading self-help books is also another vital tip that will help infuse your mind with self-improvement–which is a good thing. You may want to check out my book: Do Not Force It, Tap The Good – Link – https://www.amazon.com/Do-not-Force-TAP-GOOD/dp/1461079098

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Love and light.

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D, MBA, is a published author of 5 books, a Transformational coach, Counselor and Professional speaker. For more about her, check out her website at www.tapthegood.com