Four Tips to Deal with Rejection: Part 2:


In part 1 of this article, “How to Deal with Rejection – based on a personal story”, I shared a personal story about one of my childhood experiences of rejection. I’m certain that you or someone you know has gone through similar or maybe even worse experiences.

In this article, I share 4 tips that helped me deal with rejection and build a healthier self-esteem. And although I appreciate the fact that your experiences or those of your loved ones might be different, I’m also certain that anyone will be able to customize these tips and make them their own in order to resolve any rejection related emotional issues that they might be experiencing.

Tip 1: Know That no one can Reject You.

As weird as it might sound, believe me when I say that no one can actually reject you. One of the meanings of rejection is to be eliminated. And in my opinion, no one can eliminate you per-say. One might eliminate your presence from a scene, or disregard what you say, but he/she can never eliminate your existence. Chances are that what you perceive as rejection is an incident where someone probably did not resonate with, understand, or agree with whatever you were presenting or offering. However, with all due respect, this doesn’t mean that the entire awesome you was discarded.

Therefore, the first tip you can employ to deal with rejection-related emotions is to change your perception of the word, rejection and how it applies to you as an individual.

No one can reject you

Tip 2: Know that People’s Actions are Their Business.

As you deal with the rejection-related emotions, understand that perception is projection. Behavior is founded on internal representations: meaning that people behave as they have learned to, based on their beliefs and thought processes, mental, emotional and spiritual states. Everyone is doing the best they can with the internal resources they have. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement, “squeeze an orange and you get orange juice.” When someone is filled with anger, sadness or whatever other emotions that they might have, that’s exactly what’s going to come out of them as they perceive the world, as well as act. Therefore, if someone rejects something about you, this has nothing to do with you. It is their business. That’s how they know how to operate. Note that at that point in time, your presence or whatever they rejected triggered a decision within them to reject. Consequently, you can’t take things personally. And most importantly, you have to forgive them for their actions because they probably didn’t even realize that there was anything wrong with the way they acted. Just as you can’t expect mango juice to come out of an orange, you can’t expect a person filled with rudeness or anger to treat you with kindness or non-judgment.

If my actions dont concern you
Tip 3: Take 100% Responsibility Of Your Emotions:

When we take full responsibility of our negative emotions, we take our power back from whoever we have blamed for the way we feel. By taking full responsibility for the rejection-related negative emotions, we get to understand that no one has the power to make us feel a certain way; and that we have the power to heal ourselves. This process begins by identifying all those negative emotions that you are feeling. Write them down. Examine each one of them to identify the root causes. Establish if the root causes are really based on truths. For instance, if one of the negative related emotions you are dealing with is sadness, the root cause is what the person said or did, that made you believe that you are a reject. When you examine tip 1, you realize that you are not really a reject. Tip 2, is telling you that whatever the person did is not your business. Consequently, your perceptions are not founded on the truth. You are not a reject. Therefore, you just have to let the sadness go because it is built on lies.

The next step is to forgive yourself for being sad for the wrong reasons. Here’s a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUjtMRS_5k) with a forgiveness process that I recorded a few years ago. To access the link, please copy and paste the link in a new browser, then click “enter.”

You are your hell

Tip 4: Know That You Can Create a New And Better Story About Your Self-Image

The thoughts and related beliefs about being rejection are founded on a story you created based on an experience that you believed to be the truth. Note that just as you created this story, you also have the power to erase it and then create a new and better story about how you want to feel about yourself. You can do this by thinking about how you want to perceive your self-image. Decide how you want to be perceived. Write these attributes down. Read them to yourself every day until you believe them as the truth. For instance, you can write statements such; I accept and love myself just as I am. I am worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I respect myself—you get the idea. The fundamental thing to do is to think and believe these statements as the truth. And by doing this, you will be writing a better story that will improve your perception of yourself.
create a new story
Please note that although these tips are simplified, they helped me deal with my rejection-related negative emotions and I believe they can help you or anyone else. The idea is to make the tips your own, do the work on yourself, and remember that persistence and repetition are necessary ingredients required to establish and reinforce desired change.

The author is Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She’s an author, speaker, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, please check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Looking for a good inspirational book to empower and inspire you? Look no further. Click HERE to read THE book. 

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Have Faith – Based on a Powerful Inspirational Story – Audio Recording


In this week’s inspirational blog, I share a story about having faith. Faith, in my opinion is that consistent profound, soothing inner state, that convinces us that everything will be okay. We all need faith to inspire our confidence and help us push forward regardless of the obstacles that we may be facing.

In this audio recording, I share the story. Please send the audio link to anyone who might need it.

Link to audio – https://youtu.be/ABGBurvxmvw

In the interim, I’m sending you God’s love and light.

Want to read a good book that will inspire fear to take a hike out of your system? Check out my book – Do Not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on Your Terms.

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**Inspirational story borrowed from http://www.inspire21.com

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, transformational coach, Author, and Professional Speaker. To learn more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com

Does What You Want Deserve You?


Often times who crave to get certain things in life. We crave for jobs, relationships, cars, etc, only to get them and start craving for different things. At times when we get what we have been longing for, this is when we realize that it doesn’t resonate with our personal standards.

personal standards

As a counselor and coach, I have discovered that people long for what they don’t really want. They tend to focus so much on the  wanted “thing” instead of the feelings that the ‘thing” will elicit in them when they get it. For example; a woman craves to attract a man. And when she does, she realizes that she deserves better. This is when she also discovers that she didn’t evaluate what she particularly deserves before she established what she wanted.

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My simple advice is that before you start working towards achieving a set goal, let it be a woman, man, job, promotion, car, etc, ask yourself if this goal reflects on your standards, values, and self esteem. The starting point is to evaluate how you value yourself. What makes you, you? What’s your worth?

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As you ponder on the above, I have a resource for you. My book, Do Not Force It, Tap The Good: How to Tap into one’s Inner Infinite Intelligence, Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on his/her Termswill help you evaluate your personal standards, and then challenge you to upgrade your self-worth. 

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Check out the book on CD, Kindle, Audio and Paper back.

links to the book:

Kindle – https://www.amazon.com/not-Force-TAP-GOOD-Intelligence-ebook/dp/B006JNBGDW

Paper back – http://www.amazon.com/Do-not-Force-TAP-GOOD/dp/1461079098

Audible – http://www.amazon.com/Do-Not-Force-Tap-Good/dp/B008JAEXRE?ie=UTF8&qid=&ref_=tmm_aud_swatch_0&sr=

CD – http://www.amazon.com/Do-Not-Force-Tap-Good/dp/0985379103/ref=tmm_abk_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Have a great week ahead.

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

All Things are Possible


Live your life in a sublime spirit of confidence and determination; disregard appearances, conditions. In fact, disregard all evidence of your senses that deny the fulfillment of your desire. Rest in the assumption that you are already what you want to be, for in that determined assumption, you and your Infinite Being are merged in creative unity, and with your Infinite Being, (God) remember that all things are possible. GOD NEVER FAILS. 

The question is; how do you get to that mental, emotional and spiritual place of absolute faith? The proven process of developing unwavering faith in life, yourself and God, is fully explained in my book – Do Not Force it, Tap The GoodHow to Tap into one’s Inner Infinite Intelligence, Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on his/her Terms

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Author, Speaker, Counselor, Success Coach

http://www.tapthegood.com/books/

Book link – http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006JNBGDW/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1

 

Clearing Your Resistance to Miracles Through EFT!


Is it hard to believe that miracles are unfolding all around us? And that we have access to co-creating our lives and goals with the divine?

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Yes, sometimes it is hard! Hey, I know it can be hard for me some days!!
Sometimes life, money and our goals can seem heavy and overwhelming! Do you ever feel like, “it’s all on me to do everything”? This is a great time to tap–as this is a particular vibe that literally blocks miracles from showing up. Whenever we feel weak, it just means that for a while we’ve forgotten about our abilities to co-create with the divine. This also implies that we are disconnected from the infinite magnificence…the kingdom of God that dwells with us. When we tap on these negative feelings, we remove the emotional blockages to our inner confidence; and are then able to tap into divine intelligence for direction, inner drive, and will power.

Divine intervention

So let’s do that now; shall we?
Firstly, let’s dive into an exercise to examine where we are in regards to our goals.

Think about this year. Think about your money goals, wealth goals, and/or business goals.

Now, test this phrase by saying it aloud in two ways: “I have to make it happen.”
With all the emphasis on ‘have,’ notice the feeling in that…and how true it feels.
What is the emotion?

Now say the following statement again with the emphasis on ‘make’.
“I have to make it happen.” Notice the feelings in your body when you say it that way.

Now start tapping!

Round 1: We are going to tap on the statement: “I have to make everything happen
on my own (there’s no support!)”

Karate Chop Point:

Even though, the truth is I have to make it happen; it’s all on me. I’ve got to do it,
I accept all of me now.

Even though, I have to make this happen. I feel that pressure, that constriction,
but I can’t just let this go. I accept all of my feelings now.

Even though, the truth is, it’s all me. There’s no one supporting me, no miracles showing up. I have to make this happen. Otherwise I will fail, and that will be all on me. I love and accept myself anyway.

Tapping Through the Points:

Eye brow (EB): It is all on me. It’s always been on me. I can’t just trust. I can’t let go.
Side of the Eye: (SE) That would be slacking off. I have to make this happen. Make it happen with my will, with my own two hands, my blood, sweat and tears.

Under the Eye (UE): It’s exhausting. But I keep doing it. I’ve got to make this happen.
Not a lot of fun in that.
Under the Nose: (UN) A lot of pressure…a lot of desperation. I’m always battling failure–so much at stake.

Chin (C): I can’t just trust in the Universe. That would be crazy

I’ve got to do it. It’s all me.

Collar Bone (CB): I feel isolated. There is no one to help me.

Under the Arm (UA): Why is all this happening to me?

Top of the Head (TH): I don’t think I can ever achieve my goals.

Round 2: We are going to tap on a more positive round with this statement in mind. “I am open to the divine co-creating with me!”

Karate Chop Point: (Tap on this point and repeat the statements below)

Even though, I’ve built a life making stuff happen. And I often say, oh I’ll just do it myself. I usually do it better, and I do it to my standards. I’m open to the idea that there’s a conflict in this for me. Because I’m not very open to help.

Even though, I love getting stuff done. I love making great things happen. I’m open
to the idea, that I could be an amazing achiever, and have an open window to streams of divine
brilliance, divine guidance, inspiration, and even miracles. That makes all my achieving fun.

Even though, I’ve operated this way for a long time; saying, “No thanks, I got it. I’ve got to do it all myself.” I’m now opening a window, and I’m propping it open with a stick, so I
can’t close it easily. This window is open to the divine co-creating with me. I actually don’t need to do everything myself.

The truth is I can’t always see the big picture. And although right now, I’m disconnected from the mind of God. Maybe the Divine is trying to give me more than I’ve even dreamed of.

Tapping Through the Points:

EB: I’ve been doing it this way for a long time.
If I trust and let go, would I judge myself a slacker? Or naïve?
SE: I wonder what would happen, if I open this window and allowed the Divine to stream into my life–bringing me more brilliance, more inspiration, absolute miracles, and co-creating with me.
UE: I wonder how that would feel. I wonder how it would feel in my body, to achieve my goals that way.
UN: This would feel different. …REALLY different.

Chin: I surrender my control. I surrender my old story.
CB: I surrender my doubt in divine power.
UA: I open myself to help.
TH: I open myself to miracles. I open my connection to the divine to co-create with me!

If you can go through this exercise for the next couple of days, I’m certain that you will see some positive results in your life.

Divine intervention2

Love and light.

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Author, Speaker, Certified Success Coach / S. Counselor

Tapthegood.com

author@tapthegood.com

http://tapthegood.com/business-intelligence-mastermind/