Four Tips to Deal with Rejection: Part 2:


In part 1 of this article, “How to Deal with Rejection – based on a personal story”, I shared a personal story about one of my childhood experiences of rejection. I’m certain that you or someone you know has gone through similar or maybe even worse experiences.

In this article, I share 4 tips that helped me deal with rejection and build a healthier self-esteem. And although I appreciate the fact that your experiences or those of your loved ones might be different, I’m also certain that anyone will be able to customize these tips and make them their own in order to resolve any rejection related emotional issues that they might be experiencing.

Tip 1: Know That no one can Reject You.

As weird as it might sound, believe me when I say that no one can actually reject you. One of the meanings of rejection is to be eliminated. And in my opinion, no one can eliminate you per-say. One might eliminate your presence from a scene, or disregard what you say, but he/she can never eliminate your existence. Chances are that what you perceive as rejection is an incident where someone probably did not resonate with, understand, or agree with whatever you were presenting or offering. However, with all due respect, this doesn’t mean that the entire awesome you was discarded.

Therefore, the first tip you can employ to deal with rejection-related emotions is to change your perception of the word, rejection and how it applies to you as an individual.

No one can reject you

Tip 2: Know that People’s Actions are Their Business.

As you deal with the rejection-related emotions, understand that perception is projection. Behavior is founded on internal representations: meaning that people behave as they have learned to, based on their beliefs and thought processes, mental, emotional and spiritual states. Everyone is doing the best they can with the internal resources they have. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement, “squeeze an orange and you get orange juice.” When someone is filled with anger, sadness or whatever other emotions that they might have, that’s exactly what’s going to come out of them as they perceive the world, as well as act. Therefore, if someone rejects something about you, this has nothing to do with you. It is their business. That’s how they know how to operate. Note that at that point in time, your presence or whatever they rejected triggered a decision within them to reject. Consequently, you can’t take things personally. And most importantly, you have to forgive them for their actions because they probably didn’t even realize that there was anything wrong with the way they acted. Just as you can’t expect mango juice to come out of an orange, you can’t expect a person filled with rudeness or anger to treat you with kindness or non-judgment.

If my actions dont concern you
Tip 3: Take 100% Responsibility Of Your Emotions:

When we take full responsibility of our negative emotions, we take our power back from whoever we have blamed for the way we feel. By taking full responsibility for the rejection-related negative emotions, we get to understand that no one has the power to make us feel a certain way; and that we have the power to heal ourselves. This process begins by identifying all those negative emotions that you are feeling. Write them down. Examine each one of them to identify the root causes. Establish if the root causes are really based on truths. For instance, if one of the negative related emotions you are dealing with is sadness, the root cause is what the person said or did, that made you believe that you are a reject. When you examine tip 1, you realize that you are not really a reject. Tip 2, is telling you that whatever the person did is not your business. Consequently, your perceptions are not founded on the truth. You are not a reject. Therefore, you just have to let the sadness go because it is built on lies.

The next step is to forgive yourself for being sad for the wrong reasons. Here’s a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUjtMRS_5k) with a forgiveness process that I recorded a few years ago. To access the link, please copy and paste the link in a new browser, then click “enter.”

You are your hell

Tip 4: Know That You Can Create a New And Better Story About Your Self-Image

The thoughts and related beliefs about being rejection are founded on a story you created based on an experience that you believed to be the truth. Note that just as you created this story, you also have the power to erase it and then create a new and better story about how you want to feel about yourself. You can do this by thinking about how you want to perceive your self-image. Decide how you want to be perceived. Write these attributes down. Read them to yourself every day until you believe them as the truth. For instance, you can write statements such; I accept and love myself just as I am. I am worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I respect myself—you get the idea. The fundamental thing to do is to think and believe these statements as the truth. And by doing this, you will be writing a better story that will improve your perception of yourself.
create a new story
Please note that although these tips are simplified, they helped me deal with my rejection-related negative emotions and I believe they can help you or anyone else. The idea is to make the tips your own, do the work on yourself, and remember that persistence and repetition are necessary ingredients required to establish and reinforce desired change.

The author is Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She’s an author, speaker, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, please check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Looking for a good inspirational book to empower and inspire you? Look no further. Click HERE to read THE book. 

High Resolution Front Cover.3594241

 

Have Faith – Based on a Powerful Inspirational Story – Audio Recording


In this week’s inspirational blog, I share a story about having faith. Faith, in my opinion is that consistent profound, soothing inner state, that convinces us that everything will be okay. We all need faith to inspire our confidence and help us push forward regardless of the obstacles that we may be facing.

In this audio recording, I share the story. Please send the audio link to anyone who might need it.

Link to audio – https://youtu.be/ABGBurvxmvw

In the interim, I’m sending you God’s love and light.

Want to read a good book that will inspire fear to take a hike out of your system? Check out my book – Do Not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on Your Terms.

High Resolution Front Cover.3594241

**Inspirational story borrowed from http://www.inspire21.com

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, transformational coach, Author, and Professional Speaker. To learn more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com

You are More Powerful Than You Think


In this audio recording, I share a powerful and proven tip to help you disorient worry. The psychological tip will help you face up to your challenges and focus on what you want.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/0dl-rhzBgOY

Please remember the Global Worry-free day, March 1st, 2017. 7.00a.m to 7.00pm in your time zone. Please spread the word.

Love and light

Your Life Transformational coach – helping you achieve emotional freedom and live life on your terms.

http://www.tapthegood.com

The Most Powerful Self-Improvement Question


As the year ends, other than spending a lot of money on gifts and preparing for the holiday celebrations, we get prompted to think about what we’ve achieved during the year, what we’ve lost, what we want to achieve the following year, what to change about ourselves, how to change, financial goals, relationships goals…the list goes on.

Many, (and I plead guilty for doing this for a number of years,) have long given up on the annual-goal setting exercise because they either never follow-through with their goals, or simply, for some reason, fail to achieve their goals. So, for the fear of failing again, they negate or ignore annual resolutions.

resolutions

However, I have discovered that there is a single question that I have asked myself each year, and have also recommended for my clients, that doesn’t only help to re-establish personal worth, but also leads to new insights about self. Also, this question has somehow led me into evaluating my finance, friendship, business and future related goals.

The question is: “What do I deserve?”

deserving-people-2

When you take time to contemplate on, and answer this question, I suggest that you consider thinking about what you are tolerating, let it be partnerships, a job (if you are employed), lifestyle, friendships—to mention but a few. After establishing what you might be tolerating, proceed to analyze what you think you deserve and why. Before you are done, you will have your most important new goals ready for your execution.

DCF 1.0

If you discover that you are tolerating more than you think, then contact me at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ for a complimentary personal coaching/counseling session to establish how I can help you take your power back and become the authority of your life.

Looking for a good book to read during the holidays? Check out, Do not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Tap Into One’s Infinite Potential, Develop a Profound Positive Attitude and Live Life on Your Terms.

High Resolution Front Cover.3594241

Happy holidays

Love and light

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Published Author, Counselor, Personal Coach, Professional Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

Are You Ready to Become a Millionaire??


Have I caught your attention? 🙂 I hope so. One thing I know about the human race, is that we all want more for ourselves. Now, “more” is very different for everyone. Some people want to become millionaires, others, better cars, or upgraded cellphones. The point in emphasis is that if you want to achieve a goal or status higher than where you are right now, you also have to prepare your mind for it.

In this video, I share 4 steps to help one prepare his/her mindset for greater things.

Please share the video with others who might want some motivation today.

Sending you God’s love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana

tapthegood.com