How to Connect to The Right Friends


As a teenager, connecting to the right friends was one of my biggest challenges.

I grew up with my mom in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda, and my mom was very strict about how we chose friends since most of our neighbor’s teenagers had become pregnant, escaped from their homes and/or got involved in other inappropriate activities. I disliked my mom. In my little mind, I thought she was blocking my freedom to have as many friends as I wanted. But as an adult now, I appreciate her a lot. It is because of her strategies to keep us safe from the turbulent environment in which we were in, that I and my siblings were able to complete school without getting into trouble.

By following some of the strategies that I learned from my mom, and some as a transformational coach, I’ve been able to connect to and choose the right friends over the years.

Here are some of the tips that you can use to connect to the right friends.

1. Become your own best friend.
Before you can understand what friendship really means, you have to love and appreciate everything about yourself, including your flaws. You have to be your own best friend. If you don’t like yourself, you will always look for validation from your friends to define who you are. And that will be disappointing because no one has the power to define who you should be, or how you should feel about yourself. It’s up to each one of us to determine who we should be, and how we should feel. Therefore, be your best friend first, such that when you connect to friends, you are not looking for validation. You love yourself as you are.

your best friend

2. Define what friendship means to you.
It is extremely important to establish what you want to achieve from whatever you do. It’s about being purposeful. Defining what friendship means to you implies that you establish what you expect from friends; what they should expect from you as a friend, and what you will not tolerate from them. This also means that you have to develop personal values and standards below which you won’t be anyone’s friend. For instance; since you are already your own best friend, you have to know how to be friendly to yourself. This means that you respect your body by eating the right foods; you exercise and do not indulge in anything that would abuse your body—such as drugs and/or immature sex. You keep your word. You communicate clearly about what you want and don’t want, assertively. You respect your parents/elders. You keep your environment clean and safe. In a nutshell, you love yourself. As a result, you seek to connect with friends who also love themselves and most importantly, friends who will not negatively affect your self-love. They respect and appreciate who you are. They don’t try to influence you, except if it is for positive change.

high_standards

3. Become friendly.
If you want to connect to friends you have to be friendly. This means that you don’t make judgments about others because of their looks, origin, social group or religion. You communicate to others freely and attentively as you take the time to examine if these people also love themselves. You become present with people—meaning that you listen attentively to everyone you meet before you determine if that person could be a friend.

I believe that if you embrace these tips, or even add other personal tips that you’ve learned, you will be able to connect to good friends.

become friendly

Article also shared on teenmentor.com

http://www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA

Author, Transformational Coach, and Speaker.

10 Proven ways to Cleanse Your Space From Stuck/Negative Energy


Many times, when we enter a room in our house/office, we might sense discomfort or experience body chills. This might be an indication that the room has stuck energy. Some people are so sensitive to this type of energy that when they access it in a room, they could get a headache or feel sick. At times, one might not even feel anything but could get an instant belief that the room is infected by some sort of stuck energy. I happen to experience all the above on different occasions.

clutter

Now, what’s stuck energy, and how is it created in a room?

Stuck energy is energy that is not flowing as it should. As you might know, everything is energy. Some of the causes of stuck energy are; a disorganized or dirty room; a room with trash; a room with boxes or other things close to the door(s)/window(s); a room where big arguments/fights or crying have happened.

bedbugsclutteredroom_lg

How does stuck energy affect you?

This type of space affects our own energies, because our environments have a way of affecting our moods/energy flow and overall health. For instance, imagine being in a smelly room for a certain period of time, and when you leave the room, you continue smelling it.

Furthermore, if this room is your working space/office, stuck energy will affect the energetic flow of money, i.e. prevent or reduce the number of clients coming in. If it’s your bedroom, you might have problems falling asleep–or even have nightmares.

negative-energy-and-its-effect

How do you cleanse your space?

  1. Remove all clutter
  2. Organize the room and create space at the entrance, and windows.
  3. Open the windows/doors for at least 2 hours to let the stuck air out.
  4. Lighten up the room by opening the blinds or curtains. Let light come in.
  5. Burn a white and black candle. (Explanations of what these two candles can do for your space and mind, can be found at http://psychiclibrary.com/beyondBooks/color-therapy-with-candles/)
  6. Burn sage and blow the smoke in all corners of your space. You can also call arch-angel Michael, Jesus or any other angels to help you with the process.
  7. Put a teaspoon of sea salt in a spray bottle filled with water, and spray all over the room with an intention to cleanse the room.
  8. Put 10 to 15 drops of Peppermint oil in a spray bottle filled with water and spare all over the room. If it’s your bedroom, also spray on the bed and under it.
  9. Pour 3 to 5 spoons of rubbing alcohol on sea salt placed on a saucer. Lighten up the mixture with a lighter. When the mixture starts bringing out smoke, put out the fire and then walk around the room/house while holding an intention in your mind to cleanse the space. (Remember to wear gloves to protect yourself from the heat that can be transmitted from the hot salt)
  10. Place a glass, or an open bowl filled with water in your room for 24 hours. Hold an intention that you are directing all the negative/stuck energy into the water. (You can also place the glass or bowl of water under your bed if it’s your bedroom that’s affected) After 24 hours, pour the water in the toilet as you affirm; “I’m now flashing all the negative in this water from this space.”

You can utilize one, any, or all the above tools to cleanse your space. Remember to hold an intention in your mind during the process.

In need of a Transformational coach, and Reiki Master? I will partner with you to achieve emotional freedom, and together we shall cleanse your mind, body, spirit and space–so that you can live life on your terms? Send me an email at author@tapthegood.com.

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D. MBA

http://www.tapthegood.com