6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

lying about you

  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

lying to you

  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

verbal abuse

  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

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  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

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Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
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If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.

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Tired of Attracting Abusive Men? 3 Tips to Unlock The Subconscious Related- Chains


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Are you sick and tired of attracting abusive men?

You might have daddy issues. Read on!!

It is not only biologically vital but also spiritually imperative to grow up with our parents, mom and dad, or the equivalent, for us to develop and sustain positive-infused mindsets. Although overlooked, without both your parents in the picture as a child, you are bound to search for whoever was missing in the people you meet in your adult life. And that can be very frustrating.

Note that one is also impliedly psychologically and emotionally abused if their father or father figure was always absent in their younger days.

In this article, you will identify one of the problems created by not having a father figure or having an abusive one, and learn three simple techniques that will liberate you from this problem in order to develop healthier relationships with the men in your life.

The Problem:

Without a father figure in your life, you miss out on the security and comfort that a father figure provides (especially one with a healthy mind). A father is literally the first adult male you are introduced to, or is supposed to be introduced to when you are born. As such, he represents men in general and especially how men relate or should relate to women. Your father introduces you to the first standards that you believe every man should possess. If you saw your father treating your mom with respect, you tend to attract or choose men who understand how to treat a woman with respect.

If especially you witnessed your father abusing you or any other members of your family and never stopped abusing them, and/or never apologized, chances are that you have subconscious anger that’s not only directed towards your father, but all men.  The consequences are that you will continue unconsciously seeking out men with behaviors similar to your dad with hope that they might abuse you and then apologize to make up for what your father didn’t do. However, even if you attract men who are apologetic for abusing you, they will not compensate for your father’s abuse. Therefore, you will continue seeking for abusive men, over and over again until you deal with your early father-figure programming.

Daddy issues

The Solution:

Note that the tips I share below are not exhaustive of all the techniques and tools that you can employ to heal your early negative father-programming.

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Take time and write all your early father negative experiences, or no-father negative experiences. Be as detailed as possible. To guide you, you can answer the following questions:

  1. What exactly happened?
  2. Who was there?
  3. What did your father do, didn’t do, or should have done?
  4. In case you didn’t have a father figure as a child, how did this make you feel?
  5. How did those experiences make you feel about your father and men in general?
  6. How did these experiences make you feel about yourself?

Re-examine all the related feelings about yourself that were developed because of your earlier father/no father negative programming

Go through this simple EFT and Ho’oponopono to stop attracting abusive relationships session 

Click HERE to access the video recording.

If you want more, order the Daddy Issues Meditation CD from http://tapthegood.com/spiritualservices/

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Or buy my book (Love, Men and Money: How to Attract and Retain them) with detailed EFT and counseling scripts at www.tapthegood.com/books/ or from Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Love-Men-Money-Attract-Retain/dp/1480094897/

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Or sign up for my complimentary 30 minutes consultation session to set up counseling sessions that are guaranteed to help you take your power back from the negative past in order to live life on your terms.

Click HERE to sign up.

Dr. Jacinta Mpa, Ph.D., MBA, is a published author, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, visit www.tapthegood.com.

Subscribe to her YouTube Channel to take advantage of the complimentary counseling or coaching videos – http://www.youtube.com/user/MsJacent

Twitter – @cinta_mcinta

LinkedIn – http://www.linkedIn.com/drjacintampalyenkana/

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EFT Session to Get Unstuck From an Abusive Relationship


Do you feel stuck in a relationship that makes you feel like buying a big rope and tying it around your neck?

In this EFT RECORDED SESSION, I take you through a process to release your grip on any abusive relationship you may be involved in–whether it’s a job, friendship or love.

LINK to video – https://youtu.be/_zlrg7jBNh8

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If there are any issues that you would like me to deal with using EFT, psychology or Hooponopono, please include the details in the comments.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

http://www.tapthegood.com

Knock Out The Abuse


Abuse is defined as mistreatment, misuse, cruelty, ill-treatment, violence; anything else along those lines.

If you have ever been abused, whether psychologically, physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally, you will concur with me that it’s nothing close to a pleasant-English cup of tea. Abuse when directly mapped onto energy, is a field that moves away from the equilibrium point of stability.  It is the exact opposite of harmony, joy, happiness and a peace of mind.  Undoubtedly, it is something that shouldn’t be overlooked.

I am a past-victim of domestic, physical, psychological and emotional abuse. And I wonna tell you right now that it takes more than wishful thinking to forgive that part of you that hesitantly holds onto the related feelings. It involves forgiveness of the self and those involved. It implies digging deep and doing the mental and emotional work to erase the related memories-less of which it secretly logs in the faculty of your unconscious mind, only to continue manifesting related experiences in your life.

In this article, I have included a brief video, where I recorded an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) session-dealing with abuse. Please feel free to do the exercise as many times as you wish. You are the driver of your life. You have the responsibility to take control of it-less of which life will play you like an amateur in your own game.

Enjoy the session and please let me know how you feel after doing the exercise for a couple of days-and feel free to forward it to all your friends who may need it.

Link to Video – http://youtu.be/-Sj3XPh5F_U

 Aloha.

www.tapthegood.com