Is Suffering a Choice?


Suffering is an inner game we create by our power of choice.” Dr. Jacent M Mpalyenkana, PhD, MBA.

Yes, yes, I know. It doesn’t sound fair, does it? I understand because I have gone through it all. And occasionally I choose to suffer. Because I believe the lie that suffering as an emotion is stronger than me. But then I remember what one of my many mentors told me: “Emotions are not facts.” They are psychological energetic manifestations that we create for different reasons.

The point is, we mistake hurt for suffering. You could be physically, mentally, or emotionally hurt. But suffering is an extension of the hurt in whichever ways the later manifests. Suffering is also perception. You conceive a situation, define it and then perceive it according to your programming. This also implies that you use your power of choice to choose how to perceive the situation. And you can perceive the same situation differently if you re-choose.

I have been in relationships with people who were very abusive: mentally, racially, emotionally and even physically. The more I related with these people, the more I got hurt. And the more I got hurt, the more I concluded that I was suffering. No one said that when you get hurt, you also must suffer. It was my personal inner game. I choose to expand on the hurt and define it as suffering.

I also know people who are addicted to suffering. They position themselves in situations that promote immerse emotional pain, which the egoistical mind uses to convince them that they are indeed suffering. These people seem to enjoy complaining about what is wrong more than taking the required actions to change their situations.

To be fair, let’s consider people who might experience unfavorable conditions, such as diseases that render them bedridden, those in prison, death of the loved ones, etc. Even then, the human soul has what it takes to isolate itself from the egoistical mind’s cruel manifestations, and focus on the positive. We see this at work in people such as Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned for 27 years but forgave his oppressors and chose peace over righteousness, or Steve Wander, who didn’t let his blindness shadow his musical gifts. The list is endless. These people have the same blood as we do. They breathe the same oxygen as we do, and live on the same planet as we do. The only difference between us and them is how they use their power of choice.

It doesn’t matter what you are experiencing today, know that there is a part of you that is unchangeable and uncorruptible by anything in your external and inner worlds. Regardless of how emotionally or physically painful your situation might be, you can choose not to suffer. You can be still and know that everything changes except the invisible part of you that dwells in your body: the very spirit of God, which is the only presence and everlasting truth..which is also the real you. This calls for us to discover who we truly are. Because when we know that we are not our bodies or identities, then we stop believing the constraining suggestions of the egoistical mind.

In my book, The Sanity Warrior: Becoming the Authority of Your Experiences, you will certainly be inspired. That is a given.

Get the book today

http://www.tapthegood.com

MASTER OF SUCCESS VIDEO SERIES – VIDEO 1 – The Power of Commitment


To succeed, you have to know what you want. Then you have to establish who wants it. Is it a program running in your subconscious that wants what you want or it is you?

Okay, then who is the you that wants what you want?

In the video series, we shall dive deep in identifying what is really important in establishing sustainable success in our lives.

Remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel. Leave comments and questions if you have any.

Link to meditation video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MKEB_6uJYU

Book for you to read -https://www.amazon.com/Sanity-Warrior-Becoming-Authority-Experiences/dp/1098512936/

For your spiritual counseling and transformational coaching solutions, check out http://www.tapthegood.com

Love and light

Feeling Weighed Down? How to Rise Up:


donkeyEmotions have a way of reminding us that we are all under the same universal influence….the psychological mind. Apparently, whether you own a bank or your money seems to be playing hide and seek in some unknown place, we all do this thing calling thinking. And the thoughts we dwell on determine how we feel. As soon as you believe a thought, it finds its way into your consciousness and anchors itself in. And it will do its work to manifest itself fully if you give it the attention it needs.

Let’s imagine that you are thinking about an unpleasant experience that happened a day before. If you dwell on these thoughts long enough, you will run all the conversations plus all the details of the event in your mind. And sooner than later, you will experience the same emotions you experienced, if not worse. The more you think about what went wrong, the more you feel weighed down. So, you conclude that you are actually weighed down. But are you really weighed down in the actual realm of things? Yes, you might feel heavy or uncomfortable, but let’s examine this conclusion further.

To begin, what does it really mean to be weighed down? It means that you are carrying something heavier than you are. Okay, let’s further examine these negative thoughts that we conclude weigh us down.

Questions: While these thoughts dwell in our minds, do they really have quantitative weight? Can you put them on a scale to determine their weight?

No, you can not. They are just thoughts whose life and then weight are generated from the attention you give them. The more attention you give them, the more life they have. Yet, both your attention and these thoughts are in you. You are neither. You are the observer of them both. So, do you still believe you are really weighed down? What’s really important in your life if it is not feeling okay no matter what is going on in your world?

You wanna know more? In my book, The Sanity Warrior: Becoming the Authority of Your Experiences, you will not only read real life stories that will inspire you to move forward no matter what, but you will also learn proven psychological tools, among others, to transcend negative thinking and negative feeling.

Remember, effortless progress is achieved when we learn how to raise above the ego and its negative manifestations in our lives.

Get the book today

Love and light

The Null and Void Method to Resolve Negative Memories


Counseling

Mathew 8:22: “Let the dead go bury their dead…”~ Jesus

In relation to emotional intelligence, one of my interpretations of the above verse is that everything that happens in the past including a second ago, is dead…gone. If you dwell on it, you are dwelling on what’s dead.

And whatever you focus on you become. So, by focusing on a negative past you are literally murdering your attention (wasting away /killing your precious attention) that could be invested on more life progressing things.

When we realize this truth, then we can go about our business momentarily without dwelling on the negative and hence, dead past.

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Use this method whenever you find your mind dwelling on the negative past. And you will discover that you are not your emotions; you are not your past. Your memories are just thoughts and/or ideas that when you observe closely within yourself, do not exist. You could create imaginary representations of these memories but in reality, they are just illusions.

With this realization, you will free your mind from the negative memories that way you down.

Sending you much peace and divine love.

http://www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana-Murray, PhD, MBA, is an author, Counselor, Transformational Coach and Speaker. She partners with her clients to help them achieve emotional freedom from the negative past. 

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

 

8 Money Management Tips


Whether you are a billionaire or zero-naire, managing your money is key, to having more of it.wealth

In this article, I share 8 tips to help you manage your money more wisely.

  1. Spend Only What You’ve Earned.Spend money

Don’t use money you don’t have: such as credit cards-especially in case of emergencies.

  1. Examine Your Spending Habits.Spending habits

Take time to see what you mostly spend on and determine if you are a compulsive shopper or actually take time to budget.

  1. Make A Money Plan And Stick To It.

If you don’t have a plan then you won’t know where you are going. Remember that a plan is like a GPS that leads your way. Note that although we have to be flexible with the planning and execution of our financial needs, it is better to have a plan on how we want to spend our money.

  1. Do Not Buy What You Don’t Need.Shoping

Before you go shopping firstly make sure that you don’t already have what you are going to buy. Secondly, examine why you are buying that item in the first place. Are you buying that item to escape a reality, fill a need, and satisfy a want or simply because it is on sale? We are accustomed to buying things because they are on sale, and for the most part we don’t even need these things. Don’t let the “sales” syndrome entice you into buy what you don’t need.

  1. Always save a percentage of your money—at least 10% of all the amount you earn.    savings

  2. Pay Attention To Your Bank Balances So That You Don’t Overspend. Bank balances

  3. Think Positive Thoughts About Money. Create positive mental pictures to represent money. I-don_t-fix-my-problems.-I-fix-my-thinking-and-the-problems-fix-themselves.-1

  4. Have Jars For Your Coins. Keep all your coins and only take them into the bank once a year or every other year. After the money is counted, immediately transfer it to your savings

  5. Woman with coins in jar

I’m certain there are many more tips for managing money. However, the above tips will get you started on managing your money.

If you need to read a good book about saving money and accumulating sustainable passive income, check out my book, Do Not Force It, Tap the Book.

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA is a published author of 5 books, a transformation coach and counselor. For more about her, please visit, http://www.tapthegood.com

love and light

6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

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  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

lying to you

  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

verbal abuse

  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

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  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

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Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
  2. When you click on the referenced video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, share and like the video. If you have comments, even better. Please include them in the comments section below.

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If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

Looking for a powerful life-changing self-help book to read? I got you. Click on this link to order your copy.

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.

It’s Okay to Feel Good: An Inspirational Spoken Word


Do you feel sad?

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Do you need an IV of inspiration today?

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You are at the right place, at the right time, with the right intention. 

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After listening to this inspirational spoken word that I compiled after a recent near-death experience, you will feel a firm sense of well-being. Please listen everyday for continued inspiration. 

Share with those who might need some inspiration today.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/gAk2h4Gfh1Y

Love and light

This content was com composed by Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. Author, Professional speaker, Counselor and Transformational Coach. To reach her, please visit http://www.tapthegood.com/contact/

Daily Power Affirmations For Your Emotional IV of Inspiration.


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These feel-good daily power affirmations will reward you with an emotional IV of inspiration to start your day, or sleep in peace.

Listen with enthusiasm, feelings, and repetitively. Remember that affirmations only work when we attach positive emotions. Have fun and feel good.

Link to affirmations video – https://youtu.be/Dm_L9lJbGTI

Remember, March 1st, is Global Worry-free day.

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Twitter @cinta_mcinta LinkedIn – @drjacintampalyenkana ‘

Website – http://www.tapthegood.com

 

 

 

 

Changing Negative Stories to Attract Money–With EFT and Ho’oponopono


In the interim, love and light.

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

Spiritual Counselor, Coach, Speaker, Author

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

What the Heck are You Thinking? An Inspirational Message


In this audio recording, I share my take on the power of thoughts.

Please share with anyone you believe will benefit from my message.

Link to recording – https://youtu.be/wl0bNCDhztQ

In the interim, love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

Author, Coach, Counselor, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

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