6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

lying about you

  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

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  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

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  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

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  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

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Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
  2. When you click on the referenced video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, share and like the video. If you have comments, even better. Please include them in the comments section below.

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If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.

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It’s Okay to Feel Good: An Inspirational Spoken Word


Do you feel sad?

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Do you need an IV of inspiration today?

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You are at the right place, at the right time, with the right intention. 

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After listening to this inspirational spoken word that I compiled after a recent near-death experience, you will feel a firm sense of well-being. Please listen everyday for continued inspiration. 

Share with those who might need some inspiration today.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/gAk2h4Gfh1Y

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This content was com composed by Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. Author, Professional speaker, Counselor and Transformational Coach. To reach her, please visit http://www.tapthegood.com/contact/

Daily Power Affirmations For Your Emotional IV of Inspiration.


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These feel-good daily power affirmations will reward you with an emotional IV of inspiration to start your day, or sleep in peace.

Listen with enthusiasm, feelings, and repetitively. Remember that affirmations only work when we attach positive emotions. Have fun and feel good.

Link to affirmations video – https://youtu.be/Dm_L9lJbGTI

Remember, March 1st, is Global Worry-free day.

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Changing Negative Stories to Attract Money–With EFT and Ho’oponopono


In the interim, love and light.

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

Spiritual Counselor, Coach, Speaker, Author

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

How to Improve a Mother-Daughter Relationship.


As a counselor and personal coach, one of the issues that I occasionally help my clients with is to improve their relationships with their parents and/or daughters. In this article, I share 5 tips that can help improve a mother-daughter relationship.

 1. Be Proactive

Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. If you have any issues to discuss, make the move. Think about how you feel in the relationship and what you can do to change.

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  1. Work on improving yourself.

Many think that the only way to improve a relationship is for the other person to change their ways. However, we can all individually take full responsibility of our actions and reactions and improve our thought processes in such a way that makes us feel good about ourselves

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  1. Have realistic expectations.

Both moms and daughters often have idealistic expectations about their relationship. For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age. As a daughter, remember that your mom also has her own life and issues to deal with. Be empathetic: and the same goes for mothers.

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  1. Communicate.

Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters. In some ways they can be so close or feel so close that they believe that each of them should know how the other one feels. It’s vital to know that complaining disrupts the message. When there is conflict, explain what was done and how it made you feel. It is not about blaming the other person or giving them titles. It is about focusing on your personal feelings about their actions or words and being as clear as possible. After explaining, it is important to give the other person time to explain. Most times you will discover that they didn’t even mean to hurt you.

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  1. Be an active listener.

Active listening is reflecting back what the other person is saying, instead of assuming you already know. When you reflect back to what your mom or daughter is saying, you’re telling her that she’s being heard and that you understand.

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If you utilize these tips whenever conflict arises, chances are that your relationship will be healthier than if you just keep quiet and don’t communicate your concerns.

Need help with your family relationships? Send me an email at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ I can help.

Love and light.

http://www.tapthegood.com