8 Money Management Tips


Whether you are a billionaire or zero-naire, managing your money is key, to having more of it.wealth

In this article, I share 8 tips to help you manage your money more wisely.

  1. Spend Only What You’ve Earned.Spend money

Don’t use money you don’t have: such as credit cards-especially in case of emergencies.

  1. Examine Your Spending Habits.Spending habits

Take time to see what you mostly spend on and determine if you are a compulsive shopper or actually take time to budget.

  1. Make A Money Plan And Stick To It.

If you don’t have a plan then you won’t know where you are going. Remember that a plan is like a GPS that leads your way. Note that although we have to be flexible with the planning and execution of our financial needs, it is better to have a plan on how we want to spend our money.

  1. Do Not Buy What You Don’t Need.Shoping

Before you go shopping firstly make sure that you don’t already have what you are going to buy. Secondly, examine why you are buying that item in the first place. Are you buying that item to escape a reality, fill a need, and satisfy a want or simply because it is on sale? We are accustomed to buying things because they are on sale, and for the most part we don’t even need these things. Don’t let the “sales” syndrome entice you into buy what you don’t need.

  1. Always save a percentage of your money—at least 10% of all the amount you earn.    savings

  2. Pay Attention To Your Bank Balances So That You Don’t Overspend. Bank balances

  3. Think Positive Thoughts About Money. Create positive mental pictures to represent money. I-don_t-fix-my-problems.-I-fix-my-thinking-and-the-problems-fix-themselves.-1

  4. Have Jars For Your Coins. Keep all your coins and only take them into the bank once a year or every other year. After the money is counted, immediately transfer it to your savings

  5. Woman with coins in jar

I’m certain there are many more tips for managing money. However, the above tips will get you started on managing your money.

If you need to read a good book about saving money and accumulating sustainable passive income, check out my book, Do Not Force It, Tap the Book.

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA is a published author of 5 books, a transformation coach and counselor. For more about her, please visit, http://www.tapthegood.com

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6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

lying about you

  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

lying to you

  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

verbal abuse

  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

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  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

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Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
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If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

Looking for a powerful life-changing self-help book to read? I got you. Click on this link to order your copy.

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.

How to Deal with Rejection: My Personal Story – Part 1:


Feelings of rejection are normally reflections of past events or experiences that made and still make us feel left out. We probably tried to reach out to someone and he/she ignored us. There are several reasons why we develop feelings of rejection. And for the most part, these feelings have a way of making us feel insecure. Some people develop introvert personalities to protect themselves from being rejected again. Feelings of rejection can also create frustration, anger, resentment, sadness and ultimately, isolation.

Child walking alone

In this article, I will share a personal experience about rejection, how this experience made me feel, and how a fashion-modeling instructor helped me regain my confidence. In part 2 of this article, I will then share the 4 proven tools that I utilized to liberate myself from feelings of rejection.

My Story

I didn’t grow up with my biological father. There were times when I missed him so much, so I would escape from home and go to his family with intent to bond with them.

When I was 13 years old, I remember escaping from home to go to an auntie’s home (my dad’s sister), who happened to live about 7 miles away. I found my auntie and her kids having lunch. When she saw me, she told me that I should never go back to her home: that I wasn’t needed, and in her opinion, I wasn’t part of her family. She also told me that even if they had extra food to share, she would rather throw it in the trash than give it to me. “I hate you,” she said. I asked her why she hated me, and she told me that she could never allow her kids to associate with someone as needy, ugly and poor as I was. As I walked the seven miles back home, in the scolding heat, hungry and thirsty, I cried hysterically. I felt rejected and sad. And I believe that was the day I developed a mental conclusion that I was a societal reject.

rejection

What this Experience did to me:

For many years I felt that I wasn’t good enough. At the back of my mind, I consistently heard my auntie telling me how needy, ugly and poor I was. Consequently, I lost my confidence. I didn’t feel good about myself. I concluded that no one liked me; and as a result, I isolated myself. I dropped all my friends and took refuge in reading books. And what was strange is that the kids at school and in my neighborhood also started rejecting me. Teachers would pick on me. I initiated conflicts with the few friends who stuck with me because I thought that it would be easier to break up with them sooner than later–since I was convinced that in the end, they would also reject me. I was always sad.

As of today, and after many years of studying human behavior, and psychology, I understand that since I was convinced that I would always be rejected, my brain looked for ways and experiences for me to be rejected–so that I didn’t think that I was crazy. I have also learned that whatever stories we tell ourselves, about who we are, are reflected in our experiences.

How a Fashion-modeling Instructor Helped me.

When I was 20 years old, in college, my friends persuaded me to participate in the Miss Uganda Beauty Contest. By that time, I thought I was over my auntie’s story. But the moment I went through the preliminary screening process, my auntie’s voice started mumbling at the back of my mind consistently; “You can never win; you are seriously ugly; no one will vote for you” the voice went on and on with all kinds of negative messages about what was wrong with me.  Every time we were practicing the catwalk or how to pose for pictures, I would shiver, and at times even cry. At one point I wanted to quit the contest because I was convinced that the judges would reject me at first sight. But my mother kept encouraging me to move forward.

One afternoon as we prepared for the Miss Photogenic portion of the contest, I went to the restroom, sat in one corner and started crying. Soon after, the modeling instructor came to the restroom and saw me weeping. She came and sat next to me.

“Why are you crying?” she said. I didn’t know how to explain how I felt.

“Common, tell me. Maybe I can help you.” She continued.

“I don’t think I’m good enough. I think the judges will reject me.”

“Who told you that?” She questioned.

Amidst tears, I summarized my auntie’s story.

“How long ago did your auntie tell you this nonsense?” She asked.

“About 7 years ago,” I answered.

She then held my hand and said, “Never let anyone’s perception of you determine how you should feel about yourself. You have the power to replace the bad things that people have said to you, with the good things that you want to feel about yourself.” She explained. These statements were like light bulbs in my mind. They helped me realize that in spite of what my auntie had told me, I still had the power to decide how I could feel about myself.

Rescued

The instructor helped me off the floor, quickly re-did my makeup and off to the stage, I went feeling much better about myself. And although I didn’t win the Miss photogenic contest, I felt energetic and hopeful that I would eventually love myself unconditionally. While I knew that this would take time, the instructor’s advice had laid a firm foundation for me to start changing my self-concept.

Over the years, and now as a counselor and transformational coach, I have referred to this story to continue empowering myself and also help my clients deal with rejection-related insecurities. And I always remember what Dr. Wayne Dyer once said; “it is not the snake bite that kills a person; it’s the venom.” This means that it’s not what people say to you that affect you; it’s how you interpret it.

In part 2 of this article, I will share the 4 proven tools that I used to regain my confidence and develop a healthier self-esteem.

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www.tapthegood.com

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A Tip to Dis-empower The Real Reason Why You aren’t Taking Action


In this video, I share a tip about how to establish and dis-empower the real reason why you might not be taking action. I’ve learned this tip over years counseling and coaching my clients.

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Watch the video HERE.

In case of broken links, this is the URL of the video. https://youtu.be/qhBV0-CA7F4

I believe this tip will shed some light on your decision making psychology.

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D, MBA

Counselor, Personal Transformational Coach, Author, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

Influential Psychology: One out-of-the box Business Persuasive Skill:


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 Among other benefits, learning several psychological based tools of persuasion can give you insight into when they’re being used on you. The biggest benefit of this is that you can use these skills to influence others to buy from you. Below is a trick that most people use even when they are not aware of its psychological benefits.

 Tip: Get or borrow Man’s best friend (At least for many). Take a picture of you with a dog.

In order to give people the impression that you’re loyal, and to inspire them to be loyal to you, put up a picture of you with a dog (it doesn’t even have to be your own dog). This can make you seem like a team player, but don’t go overboard; putting up too many pictures with different dogs will kill the trick.

Here are some examples.

 dog 2 dog 4 Dog dog_1564860a

You get the idea, right?? 🙂

In the interim, I have a resource for you. Take advantage of the 30 minutes complimentary success coaching session during which I can show you how to stimulate your Unique Selling preposition.  Click here for details.

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Author, Professional Speaker, Success Coach

Tapthegood.com/contact/

author@tapthegood.com.