Resolving The Root Cause of Most Diversity-related Challenges in The Workplace


FearDue to our very nature as humans, we tend to negate whoever is different from us. We want everyone to be like us. And as such, we impliedly develop bias towards anyone who seems different from us, or one who does things differently. Consequently, we prejudge, categorize, and even at times discriminate those who are different. In such incidents, we unconsciously fight the fear of the unknown with intent to protect ourselves, only to hurt others.

Therefore, the most impactful root cause of diversity-related challenges is fear. Let me explain.

Fear (1)

Imagine you meet someone for the first time and build rapport, a.k.a. connect to them through what you have in common, there is no fear. You open up to them, and even eventually build trust. You share personal stories/experiences and you become excited to find someone who is like you in one way or another.  Thus, there is respect especially if you have some for yourself. For the most part, the more you discover the commonalities you have with the other person, the more you want to be around them, and learn more about them: with the disguised hope that you will discover more things you have in common.

Let’s turn the tables around and imagine that you meet someone and they come off as very different from you, you will probably start searching for whatever is wrong with them. If you find nothing you can define as wrong with them you will most likely make up one. You will start negating them because you don’t know them. You will start blocking them because of the fear of the unknown: and at that point you are literally protecting yourself.

The question is, what do you do if you work with so many people who are different from you? What if you are the one who is different from everyone else? What if what makes you different is your religion, skin color, or social background? What would you do to be an active and positive member of the team if they immediately block you off? What do you think management could do to reduce this implied fear and the negative related consequences?

As an expert in the psychology of diversity and unconscious bias, with 7 years working with the United Nations Mission in Kosovo, I have learned from other experts and my experiences that one of the most durable strategies that seem to work in any workplace setting is for management to consistently educate employees about the mission of the organization, goals, and strategies. Furthermore, they should incessantly remind employees about the one thing that they have in common: and that is achieving the organization’s set goals within its mission. This commonality should be explained in such a way that specifically illustrates the related benefits if everyone is onboard. Consequently, staff members will be inspired to focus on what they have in common and then use what’s different about them to develop diverse tools to achieve this common goal in the most efficient and effective way.

Fear3

Questions or comments?  Please let me know. For more about me, check me out at www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is published author, consultant, and a professional speaker who speaks on the Psychology of Diversity and Unconscious Bias, among other topics. 

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Do You Feel Hated? Check this out!!!


Child walking alone

Do you feel isolated and rejected?

Do experiences of rejection, isolation and loneliness continue to show up in your world?

Do you feel stuck and have no idea what to do?

Well, my friend, the answers are right there within you. The challenge is to get yourself out of the way, and find these answers. That’s why we all need someone professional to help us face ourselves without fear or judgment.

Freedom

In this video, I share a personal story to illustrate how I met myself, and provide a few proven tips that you can adopt to free yourself from yourself. 🙂

Check out this video. Please leave comments and subscribe to our YouTube channel to receive self-mastery and self-healing tips, as they are uploaded.

In the interim, don’t forget to register for our upcoming seminar, scheduled for 02/10/2018, in Los Angeles, California.

Here’s the link. – https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-mind-spirit-rebirth-and-rejuvenation-seasonal-seminar-tickets-40745783736

Check out http://www.tapthegood.com to discover counseling and coaching services by Jacinta, to help you meet yourself, connect to the abundant resources within you, and live life on your terms. Let me help you!!

Rescued

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

Four Tips to Deal with Rejection: Part 2:


In part 1 of this article, “How to Deal with Rejection – based on a personal story”, I shared a personal story about one of my childhood experiences of rejection. I’m certain that you or someone you know has gone through similar or maybe even worse experiences.

In this article, I share 4 tips that helped me deal with rejection and build a healthier self-esteem. And although I appreciate the fact that your experiences or those of your loved ones might be different, I’m also certain that anyone will be able to customize these tips and make them their own in order to resolve any rejection related emotional issues that they might be experiencing.

Tip 1: Know That no one can Reject You.

As weird as it might sound, believe me when I say that no one can actually reject you. One of the meanings of rejection is to be eliminated. And in my opinion, no one can eliminate you per-say. One might eliminate your presence from a scene, or disregard what you say, but he/she can never eliminate your existence. Chances are that what you perceive as rejection is an incident where someone probably did not resonate with, understand, or agree with whatever you were presenting or offering. However, with all due respect, this doesn’t mean that the entire awesome you was discarded.

Therefore, the first tip you can employ to deal with rejection-related emotions is to change your perception of the word, rejection and how it applies to you as an individual.

No one can reject you

Tip 2: Know that People’s Actions are Their Business.

As you deal with the rejection-related emotions, understand that perception is projection. Behavior is founded on internal representations: meaning that people behave as they have learned to, based on their beliefs and thought processes, mental, emotional and spiritual states. Everyone is doing the best they can with the internal resources they have. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement, “squeeze an orange and you get orange juice.” When someone is filled with anger, sadness or whatever other emotions that they might have, that’s exactly what’s going to come out of them as they perceive the world, as well as act. Therefore, if someone rejects something about you, this has nothing to do with you. It is their business. That’s how they know how to operate. Note that at that point in time, your presence or whatever they rejected triggered a decision within them to reject. Consequently, you can’t take things personally. And most importantly, you have to forgive them for their actions because they probably didn’t even realize that there was anything wrong with the way they acted. Just as you can’t expect mango juice to come out of an orange, you can’t expect a person filled with rudeness or anger to treat you with kindness or non-judgment.

If my actions dont concern you
Tip 3: Take 100% Responsibility Of Your Emotions:

When we take full responsibility of our negative emotions, we take our power back from whoever we have blamed for the way we feel. By taking full responsibility for the rejection-related negative emotions, we get to understand that no one has the power to make us feel a certain way; and that we have the power to heal ourselves. This process begins by identifying all those negative emotions that you are feeling. Write them down. Examine each one of them to identify the root causes. Establish if the root causes are really based on truths. For instance, if one of the negative related emotions you are dealing with is sadness, the root cause is what the person said or did, that made you believe that you are a reject. When you examine tip 1, you realize that you are not really a reject. Tip 2, is telling you that whatever the person did is not your business. Consequently, your perceptions are not founded on the truth. You are not a reject. Therefore, you just have to let the sadness go because it is built on lies.

The next step is to forgive yourself for being sad for the wrong reasons. Here’s a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUjtMRS_5k) with a forgiveness process that I recorded a few years ago. To access the link, please copy and paste the link in a new browser, then click “enter.”

You are your hell

Tip 4: Know That You Can Create a New And Better Story About Your Self-Image

The thoughts and related beliefs about being rejection are founded on a story you created based on an experience that you believed to be the truth. Note that just as you created this story, you also have the power to erase it and then create a new and better story about how you want to feel about yourself. You can do this by thinking about how you want to perceive your self-image. Decide how you want to be perceived. Write these attributes down. Read them to yourself every day until you believe them as the truth. For instance, you can write statements such; I accept and love myself just as I am. I am worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I respect myself—you get the idea. The fundamental thing to do is to think and believe these statements as the truth. And by doing this, you will be writing a better story that will improve your perception of yourself.
create a new story
Please note that although these tips are simplified, they helped me deal with my rejection-related negative emotions and I believe they can help you or anyone else. The idea is to make the tips your own, do the work on yourself, and remember that persistence and repetition are necessary ingredients required to establish and reinforce desired change.

The author is Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She’s an author, speaker, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, please check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Looking for a good inspirational book to empower and inspire you? Look no further. Click HERE to read THE book. 

High Resolution Front Cover.3594241

 

Have Faith – Based on a Powerful Inspirational Story – Audio Recording


In this week’s inspirational blog, I share a story about having faith. Faith, in my opinion is that consistent profound, soothing inner state, that convinces us that everything will be okay. We all need faith to inspire our confidence and help us push forward regardless of the obstacles that we may be facing.

In this audio recording, I share the story. Please send the audio link to anyone who might need it.

Link to audio – https://youtu.be/ABGBurvxmvw

In the interim, I’m sending you God’s love and light.

Want to read a good book that will inspire fear to take a hike out of your system? Check out my book – Do Not Force it, Tap The Good: How to Develop a Profound Positive Mindset, and Live Life on Your Terms.

High Resolution Front Cover.3594241

**Inspirational story borrowed from http://www.inspire21.com

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, transformational coach, Author, and Professional Speaker. To learn more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com

3 Psychological techniques to Achieve Consistent Business Success


Are you a business owner?

business-owner

Do you find yourself struggling with making progress for yourself, and/or business?

struggling-business-owner

The problem might be that you are not considering the most important asset of your business; YOU.

you-are
Many business people focus so much on the techniques and strategies to run their businesses but ignore the most important asset…themselves. Jim Rohn indicated that success for any project is based on 80% psychology, and 20% technique. Psychology is about how our minds work.

Have you ever found yourself having all the resources you need such as time, money, and other assets to get started on a project yet for some reason fail to start? That has everything to do with your psychology: how your mind works, why, when and how you make decisions—among other things.

Below are three tips to consider in order to include yourself in your business, and I mean inclusion of the self–to emphasize.

1. Examine your thought process. What do you think about yourself? What do you think about your business? Why are you pursuing that business in the first place? If you were on sale in a market place, would you buy yourself?

thought-process

2. Examine how, when and why you make decisions. What inspires you to make decision?

thinking-process

3. Identify your fears. Take some time to contemplate on your fears. What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid? Do you have evidence to support your fears? What are you basing your fears on? For instance, if you are afraid that your business might not succeed, what are you basing this fear on? What happened in the past that has got you to this mental state? Are you taking action? If not why?

fears

If you take time to contemplate on the preceding issues, I guarantee that you will discover a few things about yourself that you might want to change or upgrade.

I also recommend that you get my book, Communicating Your Way to Success; Master the Art of Persuasion, Increase Sales, and Stand Out from the Crowd. The book shares an entire detailed interactive chapter about selling yourself to you. In this chapter, the above tips are elaborated on, and more.

Interested in personalized personal/business coaching? Visit my website at http://www.tapthegood.com and sign up for a complimentary 15 mins’ discovery session.

Remember, nothing happens if nothing moves. Take the step to consider yourself as an important asset to you, your family and business which is when consistent success will become inevitable.

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

Three Steps to Become Enthusiastically Focused


So, let’s assume that you’ve determined what you want, and why you want it.  You have also established that you have all the practical and mental resources you need to execute the required tasks towards achieving your goal. However for some reason, you can’t focus. You are not inspired to take action. And you keep wondering what could be wrong. In this article I share three tips to help you become enthusiastically focused.

Well, you are not abnormal. For the most part, lack of focus is all based on fear: the fear to fail…the fear of being disappointed especially if you’ve embarked on projects in the past that haven’t succeeded. So what do you do? Here we go!

  1. Go back to the drawing board and establish why you want to achieve that goal. What will you emotionally or financially benefit if you achieved your goal? What will your rewards be? Be as specific as possible. Write it down. Read your reasons, and re-write them if that’s what it will take to be clear. Don’t rush. Take your time.

WhatsYourWhy

2. Establish what you will lose if you don’t take action. Will you lose freedom, friends or status? You know the answers. Write these answers down. The idea is to be honest with yourself.

 What will you lose - crosing the ocean

3. Determine the first step you will take towards achieving your goal. Make this step simple and easy. The simpler it is, the better it will be for you to embark on it. For instance, if your goal is to write a book, set a goal as simple as writing half a page a day, or writing for 10 minutes. Make the first step fun and easy. Do not overwhelm yourself.

First step 2

If you follow the above steps, you will get very clear about why you want to achieve that goal, and then get focused to taking action. If you write everything in a “contemplation note-book” (get one if you don’t already), focus, won’t be a problem. The idea is to remove any stress or fear that you’ve attached to your goal.

Last but not least; I once heard this saying: “God will give you food but he won’t cook it for you.” If you want something, you have to do something about it. You have to focus on it. There are no shortcuts. There is no magic. Nothing happens if nothing moves.

If you need more help with getting clear on your goals, or letting go of negative emotions that no longer serve you, I have a resource for you. Check out www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ fill in your details, and I will schedule you for a complimentary 15 minutes’ counseling and/or success coaching session.

Love and Light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Author, Counselor, Success Coach, Professional Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

Jacinta 3-5-11