Money is not the Root of all Evil: What is?


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It’s commonly believed that money is the root of all evil. However if you pay close attention to the people who believe that money is the source of all evil you will quickly discover that they have a bad relationship with money: aka, “broke as hell.”

I plead guilty of having this mindset. At one point when I was extremely broke I came to a delusional conclusion that if money were a person, he/she must be extremely mad at me. I thought that money discriminated people. Besides, my high school Champlain had programmed me to believe that money is evil, and those who love it are greedy “mother-funnels” who won’t go to heaven when they die. Yet I wanted to go to heaven, so I resented money. But tell you what? Experience has taught me that living a comfortable life is being in heaven here on earth.

So, what then is the root of all evil? In my opinion it is fear. It is fear that inspires jealousy—because one is afraid that there isn’t enough goodness to go around. So this fear triggers jealousy. If one focuses on this jealousy for an extended period of time envy is eventually manufactured. If you’ve ever dealt with an envious person you know how toxic and dangerous they can be. These people are the advocates of witchcraft, gossip, backstabbing others, and crime—to mention but a few.

“Surrounded by the flames of jealousy, the jealous one winds up, like the scorpion, turning the poisoned sting against himself.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Fear is what inspires a woman to throw her kid in the trash because she is afraid that she won’t be able to take care of it, or herself.

Fear can inspire a parent to disregard or abuse their child because he/she is afraid that the child might grow up to be better than them. Strange, right? Tell me about fear!!

Fear can inspire a woman to mistreat her step-kids because she is so afraid of dealing with her own insecurities. So, this triggers anger that she passes on to the innocent step-kids, in form of rage or abuse.

Fear is what promotes cut-throat competitions where people do everything they can to step on each other’s toes, damage repetitions, wrongfully accuse others, and do whatever else they can to block one from succeeding.

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Fear is what promotes addictions, because the user is so afraid of dealing with the torment in their mind and/or their experience in general. Consequently, they escape their reality because they are afraid that they don’t have what it takes to deal with it—at least for the most part.

Fear is what promotes wars. Societies and countries engage in life-time wars because they are afraid of losing their power to whomever they believe is their enemy.

Fear is the foundation of stress, anxiety and all other emotional draining states, because one is either afraid of the future repeating itself or they are afraid that the future will be worse than the present.

Fear promotes lies, deceit, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, short term gratification—plus other related self-degrading mental states, because one is afraid that they are not good enough.

Fear limits or retards self-expression because one is afraid of being judged.

Note that fear is primarily intended to warn us of the possible dangers in our environments—and then we get to choose between fleeing or fighting. And once an action is chosen, there’s no need to continue producing the fear-manufacturing hormones.  

As a therapist, I often ask my clients to create visual representations of their fears. It is very interesting to see that each of them has unique images of their fears—even in situations where two people are afraid of the same thing. Therefore, it is evident the fear is a self-created state, triggered by the associations, definitions, relationships, attachments and perceptions that we assign to the events in our lives. Without associations, definitions, relationships, attachments and perceptions, fear is limited. Nothing is interpreted. Everything just is. Therefore, in order to release our fears we have to start by learning how to detach or resist defining events, things or situations.

Although without benefits, fear indeed is the root of all evil. The questions then are; what are your fears? What inner and outer negative behaviors have been triggered by these fears? What are you doing about your fears? How do you plan to let them go?

Send me an email if you need help with this.

Sending you abundant love from my heart to yours.

Divine blessings

http://www.tapthegood.com

tapthegood@gmail.com

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Powerful EFT session to Stop Procrastination


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Do you have a hard time getting started on your projects?

Is procrastination taking over your mind?

How can you easily and quickly release procrastination from your system?

In this EFT session, I use the magical tools of EFT to help one stop procrastinating.

Happy new year.

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Sending you abundant love from my heart to yours.

Turning Fear Into Confidence – With an NLP Session


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Fear is normally projected to inspire us to choose whether to flee to fight. Depending on what has triggered the fear, it’s up to us to choose which feelings to generate after the fear is triggered.

In this NLP session, I deal with a belief of not being good enough, as the source of the triggered fear. Then, I employ a simplified version of NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) to dissipate the fear and turn it into confidence.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/oZ4vcUXR6a8

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Please go through the session everyday for as long as it takes you to feel more confident.

If you have questions, please leave them in the comments section below.

Happy holidays

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

6 Reasons Why We Stay in Abusive Relationships


To begin, what are abusive relationships?

Certainly, the answer is relative and depends on the way we individually develop our personal standards. Culture also has a lot to do with what is regarded as abusive and what is not. 

In this article, I share a generalized view of the different and common forms of abuse, and the reasons we stay in abusive relationships.

What are the different forms of abuse?

The list below includes some common forms of abuse although it is not exhaustive of what abuse can be.

  1. Saying Lies About You

When someone says a lie about you, they have abused your persona. They are probably jealous of you or just want to make themselves feel good by putting you down. Another reason why people lie about others is that they want all the attention to be directed at them. For the most part, they are insecure and don’t really feel good about themselves. They believe that by lying about you, others will turn their attention away from their weaknesses and focus on yours.

lying about you

  1. Lying to You

When someone repeatedly lies to you, they firstly do not respect themselves, and the same goes for you or anyone else. Remember, we generally treat others the way we treat ourselves. Most importantly, someone lying to you is a form of abuse. They abuse your intellect by lying.

lying to you

  1. Verbal Insults

This is self-explanatory. When someone insults you by either calling you rude names, making negative comments about your self-image, your intellect, or criticizing the way you do things, they are abusing you. I appreciate that at times someone might say negative things to you because they are going through their own drama and aren’t nice to anyone especially to themselves. But if one insults you more than once they have abusive tendencies. 

verbal abuse

  1. Judgment and criticism

We believe it is normal to judge and/or criticize others. But this is not only wrong but also implies that we are investing our focus on something that doesn’t, and will never promote us. We normally judge others based on what we’ve either been told about them, subconscious bias–if they are different from us, or if they intimidate us. We find a way to judge them–which means making conclusions about them without enough evidence. People are also so accustomed to criticizing others and constantly identifying what they believe is wrong with them. This turns into abuse if one is doing it often and doesn’t change even when you bring it to their attention.

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  1. Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is when someone hits, pushes or engages in any forceful physical activity that causes you discomfort or bodily pain. Note that one time is more than enough times for you to walk away—and trust me on this one.

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Why do we Stay in Abusive Relationships?

In this video, I share 6 reasons that I believe you will relate to. I also share a simple yet powerful tip that will help you get out of any abusive relationship.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/DbV-AcxtN5k

What next?

  1. Firstly, thanks for visiting my blog. Please follow me so that you get periodical blogs on personal development and inspiration.
  2. When you click on the referenced video, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, share and like the video. If you have comments, even better. Please include them in the comments section below.

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If you are in need of a transformational coach and counselor, please contact me at tapthegood@gmail.com

Looking for a powerful life-changing self-help book to read? I got you. Click on this link to order your copy.

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Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA, is a published author, transformational coach, counselor and professional speaker. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthgood.com.

Resolving The Root Cause of Most Diversity-related Challenges in The Workplace


FearDue to our very nature as humans, we tend to negate whoever is different from us. We want everyone to be like us. And as such, we impliedly develop bias towards anyone who seems different from us, or one who does things differently. Consequently, we prejudge, categorize, and even at times discriminate those who are different. In such incidents, we unconsciously fight the fear of the unknown with intent to protect ourselves, only to hurt others.

Therefore, the most impactful root cause of diversity-related challenges is fear. Let me explain.

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Imagine you meet someone for the first time and build rapport, a.k.a. connect to them through what you have in common, there is no fear. You open up to them, and even eventually build trust. You share personal stories/experiences and you become excited to find someone who is like you in one way or another.  Thus, there is respect especially if you have some for yourself. For the most part, the more you discover the commonalities you have with the other person, the more you want to be around them, and learn more about them: with the disguised hope that you will discover more things you have in common.

Let’s turn the tables around and imagine that you meet someone and they come off as very different from you, you will probably start searching for whatever is wrong with them. If you find nothing you can define as wrong with them you will most likely make up one. You will start negating them because you don’t know them. You will start blocking them because of the fear of the unknown: and at that point you are literally protecting yourself.

The question is, what do you do if you work with so many people who are different from you? What if you are the one who is different from everyone else? What if what makes you different is your religion, skin color, or social background? What would you do to be an active and positive member of the team if they immediately block you off? What do you think management could do to reduce this implied fear and the negative related consequences?

As an expert in the psychology of diversity and unconscious bias, with 7 years working with the United Nations Mission in Kosovo, I have learned from other experts and my experiences that one of the most durable strategies that seem to work in any workplace setting is for management to consistently educate employees about the mission of the organization, goals, and strategies. Furthermore, they should incessantly remind employees about the one thing that they have in common: and that is achieving the organization’s set goals within its mission. This commonality should be explained in such a way that specifically illustrates the related benefits if everyone is onboard. Consequently, staff members will be inspired to focus on what they have in common and then use what’s different about them to develop diverse tools to achieve this common goal in the most efficient and effective way.

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Questions or comments?  Please let me know. For more about me, check me out at www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is published author, consultant, and a professional speaker who speaks on the Psychology of Diversity and Unconscious Bias, among other topics. 

Do You Feel Hated? Check this out!!!


Child walking alone

Do you feel isolated and rejected?

Do experiences of rejection, isolation and loneliness continue to show up in your world?

Do you feel stuck and have no idea what to do?

Well, my friend, the answers are right there within you. The challenge is to get yourself out of the way, and find these answers. That’s why we all need someone professional to help us face ourselves without fear or judgment.

Freedom

In this video, I share a personal story to illustrate how I met myself, and provide a few proven tips that you can adopt to free yourself from yourself. 🙂

Check out this video. Please leave comments and subscribe to our YouTube channel to receive self-mastery and self-healing tips, as they are uploaded.

In the interim, don’t forget to register for our upcoming seminar, scheduled for 02/10/2018, in Los Angeles, California.

Here’s the link. – https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-mind-spirit-rebirth-and-rejuvenation-seasonal-seminar-tickets-40745783736

Check out http://www.tapthegood.com to discover counseling and coaching services by Jacinta, to help you meet yourself, connect to the abundant resources within you, and live life on your terms. Let me help you!!

Rescued

Love and light

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

Four Tips to Deal with Rejection: Part 2:


In part 1 of this article, “How to Deal with Rejection – based on a personal story”, I shared a personal story about one of my childhood experiences of rejection. I’m certain that you or someone you know has gone through similar or maybe even worse experiences.

In this article, I share 4 tips that helped me deal with rejection and build a healthier self-esteem. And although I appreciate the fact that your experiences or those of your loved ones might be different, I’m also certain that anyone will be able to customize these tips and make them their own in order to resolve any rejection related emotional issues that they might be experiencing.

Tip 1: Know That no one can Reject You.

As weird as it might sound, believe me when I say that no one can actually reject you. One of the meanings of rejection is to be eliminated. And in my opinion, no one can eliminate you per-say. One might eliminate your presence from a scene, or disregard what you say, but he/she can never eliminate your existence. Chances are that what you perceive as rejection is an incident where someone probably did not resonate with, understand, or agree with whatever you were presenting or offering. However, with all due respect, this doesn’t mean that the entire awesome you was discarded.

Therefore, the first tip you can employ to deal with rejection-related emotions is to change your perception of the word, rejection and how it applies to you as an individual.

No one can reject you

Tip 2: Know that People’s Actions are Their Business.

As you deal with the rejection-related emotions, understand that perception is projection. Behavior is founded on internal representations: meaning that people behave as they have learned to, based on their beliefs and thought processes, mental, emotional and spiritual states. Everyone is doing the best they can with the internal resources they have. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement, “squeeze an orange and you get orange juice.” When someone is filled with anger, sadness or whatever other emotions that they might have, that’s exactly what’s going to come out of them as they perceive the world, as well as act. Therefore, if someone rejects something about you, this has nothing to do with you. It is their business. That’s how they know how to operate. Note that at that point in time, your presence or whatever they rejected triggered a decision within them to reject. Consequently, you can’t take things personally. And most importantly, you have to forgive them for their actions because they probably didn’t even realize that there was anything wrong with the way they acted. Just as you can’t expect mango juice to come out of an orange, you can’t expect a person filled with rudeness or anger to treat you with kindness or non-judgment.

If my actions dont concern you
Tip 3: Take 100% Responsibility Of Your Emotions:

When we take full responsibility of our negative emotions, we take our power back from whoever we have blamed for the way we feel. By taking full responsibility for the rejection-related negative emotions, we get to understand that no one has the power to make us feel a certain way; and that we have the power to heal ourselves. This process begins by identifying all those negative emotions that you are feeling. Write them down. Examine each one of them to identify the root causes. Establish if the root causes are really based on truths. For instance, if one of the negative related emotions you are dealing with is sadness, the root cause is what the person said or did, that made you believe that you are a reject. When you examine tip 1, you realize that you are not really a reject. Tip 2, is telling you that whatever the person did is not your business. Consequently, your perceptions are not founded on the truth. You are not a reject. Therefore, you just have to let the sadness go because it is built on lies.

The next step is to forgive yourself for being sad for the wrong reasons. Here’s a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUjtMRS_5k) with a forgiveness process that I recorded a few years ago. To access the link, please copy and paste the link in a new browser, then click “enter.”

You are your hell

Tip 4: Know That You Can Create a New And Better Story About Your Self-Image

The thoughts and related beliefs about being rejection are founded on a story you created based on an experience that you believed to be the truth. Note that just as you created this story, you also have the power to erase it and then create a new and better story about how you want to feel about yourself. You can do this by thinking about how you want to perceive your self-image. Decide how you want to be perceived. Write these attributes down. Read them to yourself every day until you believe them as the truth. For instance, you can write statements such; I accept and love myself just as I am. I am worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I respect myself—you get the idea. The fundamental thing to do is to think and believe these statements as the truth. And by doing this, you will be writing a better story that will improve your perception of yourself.
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Please note that although these tips are simplified, they helped me deal with my rejection-related negative emotions and I believe they can help you or anyone else. The idea is to make the tips your own, do the work on yourself, and remember that persistence and repetition are necessary ingredients required to establish and reinforce desired change.

The author is Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She’s an author, speaker, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, please check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Looking for a good inspirational book to empower and inspire you? Look no further. Click HERE to read THE book. 

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