Are you sick and tired of attracting abusive men?
You might have daddy issues. Read on!!
It is not only biologically vital but also spiritually imperative to grow up with our parents, mom and dad, or the equivalent, for us to develop and sustain positive-infused mindsets. Although overlooked, without both your parents in the picture as a child, you are bound to search for whoever was missing in the people you meet in your adult life. And that can be very frustrating.
Note that one is also impliedly psychologically and emotionally abused if their father or father figure was always absent in their younger days.
In this article, you will identify one of the problems created by not having a father figure or having an abusive one, and learn three simple techniques that will liberate you from this problem in order to develop healthier relationships with the men in your life.
Without a father figure in your life, you miss out on the security and comfort that a father figure provides (especially one with a healthy mind). A father is literally the first adult male you are introduced to, or is supposed to be introduced to when you are born. As such, he represents men in general and especially how men relate or should relate to women. Your father introduces you to the first standards that you believe every man should possess. If you saw your father treating your mom with respect, you tend to attract or choose men who understand how to treat a woman with respect.
If especially you witnessed your father abusing you or any other members of your family and never stopped abusing them, and/or never apologized, chances are that you have subconscious anger that’s not only directed towards your father, but all men. The consequences are that you will continue unconsciously seeking out men with behaviors similar to your dad with hope that they might abuse you and then apologize to make up for what your father didn’t do. However, even if you attract men who are apologetic for abusing you, they will not compensate for your father’s abuse. Therefore, you will continue seeking for abusive men, over and over again until you deal with your early father-figure programming.
Note that the tips I share below are not exhaustive of all the techniques and tools that you can employ to heal your early negative father-programming.
Take time and write all your early father negative experiences, or no-father negative experiences. Be as detailed as possible. To guide you, you can answer the following questions:
- What exactly happened?
- Who was there?
- What did your father do, didn’t do, or should have done?
- In case you didn’t have a father figure as a child, how did this make you feel?
- How did those experiences make you feel about your father and men in general?
- How did these experiences make you feel about yourself?
Re-examine all the related feelings about yourself that were developed because of your earlier father/no father negative programming
Go through this simple EFT and Ho’oponopono to stop attracting abusive relationships session
Click HERE to access the video recording.
If you want more, order the Daddy Issues Meditation CD from http://tapthegood.com/spiritualservices/
Or buy my book (Love, Men and Money: How to Attract and Retain them) with detailed EFT and counseling scripts at www.tapthegood.com/books/ or from Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Love-Men-Money-Attract-Retain/dp/1480094897/
Or sign up for my complimentary 30 minutes consultation session to set up counseling sessions that are guaranteed to help you take your power back from the negative past in order to live life on your terms.
Click HERE to sign up.
Dr. Jacinta Mpa, Ph.D., MBA, is a published author, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, visit www.tapthegood.com.
Subscribe to her YouTube Channel to take advantage of the complimentary counseling or coaching videos – http://www.youtube.com/user/MsJacent
Twitter – @cinta_mcinta
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As a counselor and personal coach, one of the issues that I occasionally help my clients with is to improve their relationships with their parents and/or daughters. In this article, I share 5 tips that can help improve a mother-daughter relationship.
1. Be Proactive
Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. If you have any issues to discuss, make the move. Think about how you feel in the relationship and what you can do to change.
- Work on improving yourself.
Many think that the only way to improve a relationship is for the other person to change their ways. However, we can all individually take full responsibility of our actions and reactions and improve our thought processes in such a way that makes us feel good about ourselves
- Have realistic expectations.
Both moms and daughters often have idealistic expectations about their relationship. For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age. As a daughter, remember that your mom also has her own life and issues to deal with. Be empathetic: and the same goes for mothers.
Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters. In some ways they can be so close or feel so close that they believe that each of them should know how the other one feels. It’s vital to know that complaining disrupts the message. When there is conflict, explain what was done and how it made you feel. It is not about blaming the other person or giving them titles. It is about focusing on your personal feelings about their actions or words and being as clear as possible. After explaining, it is important to give the other person time to explain. Most times you will discover that they didn’t even mean to hurt you.
- Be an active listener.
Active listening is reflecting back what the other person is saying, instead of assuming you already know. When you reflect back to what your mom or daughter is saying, you’re telling her that she’s being heard and that you understand.
If you utilize these tips whenever conflict arises, chances are that your relationship will be healthier than if you just keep quiet and don’t communicate your concerns.
Need help with your family relationships? Send me an email at www.tapthegood.com/contacts/ I can help.
Love and light.