How Language Can Trigger Discriminatory Behavior


Diversity

One of the ways through which we make others feel discriminated is by the things we say, and/or how we say them. At times we might say certain things without even intending to offend others. However, if we say these things to someone who has already been discriminated or one who is aware of implied bias, we might trigger discriminatory and/or resentful behavior.

“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” – James Humes

Let me explain.

         “Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.” – Cesar Chavez

Let’s imagine that you are the only white man/woman in a large group of black people. In that scenario, it is very clear that you are the odd-man out. You definitely stand out in that crowd. Furthermore, everyone in the group recognizes this fact although they don’t say it. However, let’s imagine that someone in the group addresses you as, “Hey white man/woman, what have you been up to?” How would you feel? If you’ve never experienced discrimination you might deem this as funny. However, let’s imagine that you’ve been racially discriminated in the past, how would this statement make you feel? Chances are that you will feel uncomfortable. You will feel isolated. You will immediately develop a resentful attitude to protect yourself from any possible negative experiences with group. If you are not strong enough, you will walk away from the group. They may call you sensitive, but the fact is the person who referred to you as “white” was insensitive or maybe unaware of how language can promote discriminatory behavior.

How can we prevent this from happening?

    “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” – William Arthur Ward

We can all be conscious of what we say, and think before we speak. In a group with people who are different from us, we should make sure that we do not use words that isolate the minority. We should avoid calling others by their skin color, race or religious background. For instance, we should never call someone by using statements such as, “White man/woman, black person, and African man/woman, Muslim or Christian.”

There might be incidents where the minority do not understand what the majority are saying because of a common slung used in that race, social class or religious group. We should then explain what we mean without coming off as being more intelligent.

SupplierDiversityL

These are very simple tips but if ignored can be the foundation of discriminative tendencies, or resentment. Remember, language can create or destroy. Therefore we must be cautious about what we say. We must be kind to each other considering that although we are different, we are like apples and oranges: although they are different, they are all fruits. Likewise, we are all humans.

Friut

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA is a Counselor, Transformational Coach, published author and professional speaker who speaks on the subject of Diversity. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com. orhttps://speakerhub.com/speaker/dr-jacinta-mpalyenkana?b=s

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10 Things To Do When You Feel Frustrated With Life


Frustrate

Although there are many reasons that incite our frustrations, the main reasons are founded on two major factors: money and relationships.

We get frustrated because we either don’t have money, we are losing money or money is not coming in as expected. We also get frustrated because of the people we deal with: especially because we are all different and view the world from a diverse perspective.

One thing I have learned is that the factors that promote our negative emotions, plus the negative emotions are not as crucial in influencing our emotional well-being as our perception about them. As such, my intention is to share 10 tips that you can use to get out of a frustrated mood regardless of the foundation of your frustrations. Remember,  it is not what happens to us that impacts our lives; it’s how we perceive whatever happens.     

  1. Move

By moving, I mean, changing your physicality. Do yoga, dance, go for a walk, exercise: the idea is to get your body moving. Once your body is moving, your brain will change its focus from the frustration to whatever you are doing.

move

“The difference between peak performance and poor performance is not intelligence or ability; most often it’s the state that your mind and body is in.” – Tony Robbins

Note that emotion is created by motion. In other words, emotions are linked to movement in our bodies. Observe your posture when you are happy, as opposed to when you are sad — or what you look like when you are angry, versus when you are elated.

  1. Listen To Inspirational Or Upbeat Music.

I understand that sometimes when you are feeling frustrated or sad you don’t have the guts to listen to anything. But if you are so sick and tired of feeling negative you will do whatever it takes to feel better. Some of the songs I listen to when I’m sad include, but are not limited to the following:

  • The Storm is Over – R Kelley

  • A New Day Has Come – Celine Dion

  • Roar – Katy Perry

  • Departed (Right Here) – Brandy

  • I look to You – Whitney Houston

  • I’m Your Angel – Celine Dion and R Kelly

  • When You Believe – Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey

  • Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

  • One Step at a Time – Jordan Sparks

Note that it is important to spend time making your own list.

Music

         3. Clean

Cleaning your space has a magical way of making you feel better. As you clean, your mind goes into the cleaning mood.  As such, you implicitly clean the frustration from your mind.

Clean

  1. Imagine receiving $1 Million in your bank account; make a list of how you would spend it.

Imagine

  1. Cook

Just go into your kitchen and concoct recipes regardless of what you are cooking. The process will definitely help you divert your mind from the frustration.

Cook

  1. Change your furniture around. Don’t try to be perfect. Just change things around in whichever way you want.

    Change furniture

  1. Go window shopping 

    Window-Shopping

  1. Meditate.       

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  1. Volunteer

This will help you realize how blessed you are.

    Volunteer

  1. Make big plans.

Just make plans without worrying about the resources required to realize them. Make plans as you focus on the things you want to manifest in your life—imagining that there are no obstacles that can hinder you from achieving your goals.

make big plans

Conclusion:

Remember that the difference between where you are emotionally or mentally, and where you want to be, is only a decision away. Once you decide to change your mind about anything, you have literally embarked on a profound journey of getting to your desired destination.

Reading self-help books is also another vital tip that will help infuse your mind with self-improvement–which is a good thing. You may want to check out my book: Do Not Force It, Tap The Good – Link – https://www.amazon.com/Do-not-Force-TAP-GOOD/dp/1461079098

Kindle Ready Front Cover.3594241

Love and light.

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D, MBA, is a published author of 5 books, a Transformational coach, Counselor and Professional speaker. For more about her, check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Nothing happens if nothing moves.


Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone – Yes you can

There are days I wake up and wish that I had remained asleep for as long as the world evolved. These are days when I am faced by a persisting challenge, and I am petrified to face it for yet another day.

Nothing makes sense during these critical moments. However, before I pull the sheets and slide back into my bed, I remember that nothing happens, if nothing moves. I get my act together, and focus on every breath I take rather than the 12 hours I have to preserver through until the end of the day. Since then, planning for the entire day is absolutely useless. Also considering the fact that I am not in the mood to follow through anything from beginning to end, I just take one step at a time.

One thing that I have learnt, is that exercise however minor on such mornings, is a kick-start; because it will surely push you to another level of physical strength. Once the heart rate raises, and the blood circulation gets moving, the brain automatically demands more activity. However if I still feel sluggish after the exercise, I remind myself about the “mind over matter” concept and then drag myself to execute a task I have put off for a while. I go within myself and stretch my mind to pursue something positive. And once I start, the rest is history. My attention is subconsciously diverted into what I am executing; which also retires my thoughts from thinking about what I do not want.

I just want to remind you that regardless of what you are going through, time will never stop for you. The bills will still come, and on time. Nothing stops to wait for you just because you are stressed. The good news is that, independent of your external circumstances, you still have a mind that you can tap into and stretch yourself more than you have done before. Believe me, YES YOU CAN. Stretch yourself today and go beyond your comfort zone in the pursuit of your dreams.  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1461079098, www.tapthegood.com.