Are Your Kids Safe? How to Protect Your Kids from Molestation:


Rape

I managed to slip out of his grip and crawled under the bed. I tightly held onto one of the bed’s pole and sobbed silently. I closed my eyes hoping that since I wasn’t seeing him, he wouldn’t see me.

He was 16 years old, and I was only 8. I was visiting my grandmother, who instructed him to keep an eye on me while she went to the night-market. Apparently, he was my father’s young brother, which makes him my uncle.

Before I slipped out of his grip I was laying in bed trying to sleep when he jumped on me and started pulling off my little dress. I wasn’t sure what he wanted but I knew in my young mind that it wasn’t good.

When I was under the bed he did all he could to pull me out, in vain. Fortunately, my grandmother returned home shortly after. He pretended that everything was okay and lied that I was hiding under the bed because I had had a bad dream. The next evening when I learned that my grandmother was going back to the market, I ran and hid in the bushes until she returned.

When I told her about my uncle’s strange behavior, to my shock she smacked me hard and claimed that I was lying. The next day I was taken back home to my mother, who was told that I had developed a mental problem. I didn’t tell my mother about what had happened for the fear of being smacked again.

Have you, or anyone you know ever been molested in any way? The questions are; how did you feel? Did you tell your parents/caregivers? If you did, how did they deal with it? Did they ever take you for counseling? How do you feel about it now that you are older?

DhnmAKrWkAUlevi

I don’t know what your story is, but one thing I know is that attempted rape, actual rape or any other kind of molestation, are tormenting. I was convinced that I had done something wrong, which had inspired my uncle to want to rape me. I concluded that there was something wrong with me. I lost trust in all the adults I knew. I felt betrayed and unloved. It took me many years before I forgave him. I also had to forgive myself for thinking that it was my fault that he attempted to rape me.

How do You Protect Your Kids from Molestation?

Firstly, it is important to know that molesters can be other kids, relatives, friends and even caregivers. Furthermore, know that molestation can be done to either girl or boy kids. With that in mind, you can’t rule anyone out. And I’m not suggesting that you became paranoid about everyone you leave your kids with. The idea is to protect your kid(s) in a calculated way.

Here are a few pointers.

  1. Build trust with your kids in such a way that they feel free to tell you anything however uncomfortable it may be. You can build trust by encouraging them to tell you about their day. Spend at least 30 minutes with them, daily. Ask them about their day; what they liked and what could have been better. Listen without interruption until they are done. Ask questions to inspire them to tell you more. If you are so busy to create time, tough luck. Remember that these are your kids and if you are so busy to spend time with them it is time to re-evaluate your priorities.
  2. Don’t bring other kids or relatives whose behavior you are unfamiliar with around your kids. If you do in-case of emergencies, make sure that there’s an adult to watch over them.
  3. Administer thorough background checks for the nanny you want to hire. Don’t let appearances deceive you. Furthermore, be certain that anymore who is to take care of your kids is emotionally stable. Avoid recruiting nannies with intense negative past experiences unless of course they went for therapy. And I’m not saying that it’s right to deny someone a job just because they have a negative past. Certainly, everyone deserves a second chance. The point is, make sure that they are no longer traumatized by their experiences. Note that it might be hard to know if someone is still emotionally suffering but if you pay close attention to their behavior you will be able to establish if they are traumatized or not by the way they communicate, respond, dress and/or generally carry themselves.
  4. If you are hiring a nanny to take care of your kids, ask for referrals and be sure to call and speak to each one of them. Ask questions about the nanny’s past and work ethic. Make sure that the details on their resumes match what the referrals say.
  5. Watch your kids for non-usual behavior and talk to them about it.
  6. Buy secret cameras if you can, and install them in different places in your house. Make sure that you watch the recordings for each day that you leave your kid(s) alone with the nanny.

These are a few tips that will protect your kids from being molested, or at the very least alert you of any strange behavior. However, it is also important to know that a molester might be so good at hiding their behavior and regardless of how protective and organized you are, they will still abuse your kids. The idea is to stay present and connected to your kids. Pay attention to any abnormal behavior that your kids express.

Most importantly, surround yourself with positive-minded people whose behavior is consistently positive—at least for the most part. If anything feels strange with your nanny or other people you leave your kids with, respect your feelings and investigate. Also, take care of your own thoughts. Imagine that your kids are always safe regardless of the strategies that you are instilling, and the best will most probably happen. Remember the important, yet often ignored small detail…we experience what we think about all the time.

good luck

Sending you much love and divine anointing.

http://www.tapthegood.com

Advertisements

Time Management Tips For Entrepreneurs


Dont waste time

If you are an entrepreneur you know how easy it is to get distracted. Unfortunately, we are so accustomed to falling prey of these distractions and hence end up wasting a lot of our valuable time that we could use to execute important tasks to improve our businesses and lives.

Below are a few tips that will help you manage your time more wisely even if you are not an entrepreneur

  1. Prioritize Your Tasks Based On Importance. Time wasters

Establish the one thing that you can accomplish today that will make you feel like you were productive. Complete that task first.

  1. Use “Do Not Disturb” On Your Phone.  

Do not disturbIf you have apps on your phone through which you connect with friends and family, such as Whatsapp, update your profile as “do not disturb” during your working hours. Also turn off the notifications’ option from all your apps’ settings. This will help you focus on your tasks uninterrupted by the notifications’ sounds that tend to come in often.

  1. Get a to-do Listprioritize

This is extremely important as it will help you follow through with whatever you have listed. It is also a good tool that you can use to reward yourself especially if you’ve completed all the tasks on the list. Furthermore, if you are extremely busy or forgetful, the to-do list will keep you in check about what you have to accomplish.

  1. Delete Unimportant TasksDelete unimportant lists

If you keep rescheduling a task, perhaps it is not as important as you deemed it to be when you scheduled it. So, it shouldn’t be on your to-do list. If it is, do it or delete it.

  1. Assign Deadlines for Your Tasks

This will help you attend to the due tasks before their deadlines approach. You will be more consistent with your work if you actually stick to your deadlines.

  1. Avoid Time Wasters.

Do fewer things that are not making you productive, such as:

  • Watching non educational television
  • Over planning instead of doing
  • Waiting to be perfect to start tasks
  • Not knowing your priorities
  • Investing your time on face book and other social media, for fun
  • Worrying about what could go wrong
  • Keeping negative friends or staying in negative environments
  • Having no plan about where you want to go.
  • Gossiping
  • Not exercising
  • Exercising bad eating habits that will keep you weak and unfocused.
  1. Make a Procrastination List

No matter who you are, everyone procrastinates in some way. Make a list of important tasks you can work on. Save this list on your phone. Next time you procrastinate, open this list, and start working on one or some of the tasks.

  1. Make a “Waiting for” List

Sometimes we have to wait for certain things to happen before we can take action. For instance; let’s imagine that you need someone to respond in order for you to execute a particular task. Make a waiting list so that you can focus on what you can do now, and what you have to follow up on, so that you don’t forget.

  1. Block out “Me Time”self care

It’s very important to take time to clear your mind and nourish yourself. Make time for meditation or prayer, going to the gym or taking a walk or whatever else makes you feel at peace with yourself. Note that we are more productive when we feel good.

I’m certain that there are many other time management tools that you can employ to be more productive. But the above tips are a great reference.

Remember to leave comments if you have any, and also visit my website at www.tapthegood.com for all your transformational coaching and counseling needs.

Please subscribe to my channel for all the benefits you receive by reading my great tips on life’s mysteries, personal development, humor, psychological and philosophical concepts, plus and real problems, with real solutions for real people.

Looking for a great book to read, check out, Communicating Your Way to Success: Master the Art of Persuasion, Positively Influence Others, Increase Sales, and Stand Out From the Crowd.

Native Proof_5632292_Front Cover

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA, is a Counselor, Transformational Coach, published author and professional speaker. For more about her, visit, http://www.tapthegood.com