What the Heck are You Thinking? An Inspirational Message


In this audio recording, I share my take on the power of thoughts.

Please share with anyone you believe will benefit from my message.

Link to recording – https://youtu.be/wl0bNCDhztQ

In the interim, love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

Author, Coach, Counselor, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

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How to Deal with Rejection: My Personal Story – Part 1:


Feelings of rejection are normally reflections of past events or experiences that made and still make us feel left out. We probably tried to reach out to someone and he/she ignored us. There are several reasons why we develop feelings of rejection. And for the most part, these feelings have a way of making us feel insecure. Some people develop introvert personalities to protect themselves from being rejected again. Feelings of rejection can also create frustration, anger, resentment, sadness and ultimately, isolation.

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In this article, I will share a personal experience about rejection, how this experience made me feel, and how a fashion-modeling instructor helped me regain my confidence. In part 2 of this article, I will then share the 4 proven tools that I utilized to liberate myself from feelings of rejection.

My Story

I didn’t grow up with my biological father. There were times when I missed him so much, so I would escape from home and go to his family with intent to bond with them.

When I was 13 years old, I remember escaping from home to go to an auntie’s home (my dad’s sister), who happened to live about 7 miles away. I found my auntie and her kids having lunch. When she saw me, she told me that I should never go back to her home: that I wasn’t needed, and in her opinion, I wasn’t part of her family. She also told me that even if they had extra food to share, she would rather throw it in the trash than give it to me. “I hate you,” she said. I asked her why she hated me, and she told me that she could never allow her kids to associate with someone as needy, ugly and poor as I was. As I walked the seven miles back home, in the scolding heat, hungry and thirsty, I cried hysterically. I felt rejected and sad. And I believe that was the day I developed a mental conclusion that I was a societal reject.

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What this Experience did to me:

For many years I felt that I wasn’t good enough. At the back of my mind, I consistently heard my auntie telling me how needy, ugly and poor I was. Consequently, I lost my confidence. I didn’t feel good about myself. I concluded that no one liked me; and as a result, I isolated myself. I dropped all my friends and took refuge in reading books. And what was strange is that the kids at school and in my neighborhood also started rejecting me. Teachers would pick on me. I initiated conflicts with the few friends who stuck with me because I thought that it would be easier to break up with them sooner than later–since I was convinced that in the end, they would also reject me. I was always sad.

As of today, and after many years of studying human behavior, and psychology, I understand that since I was convinced that I would always be rejected, my brain looked for ways and experiences for me to be rejected–so that I didn’t think that I was crazy. I have also learned that whatever stories we tell ourselves, about who we are, are reflected in our experiences.

How a Fashion-modeling Instructor Helped me.

When I was 20 years old, in college, my friends persuaded me to participate in the Miss Uganda Beauty Contest. By that time, I thought I was over my auntie’s story. But the moment I went through the preliminary screening process, my auntie’s voice started mumbling at the back of my mind consistently; “You can never win; you are seriously ugly; no one will vote for you” the voice went on and on with all kinds of negative messages about what was wrong with me.  Every time we were practicing the catwalk or how to pose for pictures, I would shiver, and at times even cry. At one point I wanted to quit the contest because I was convinced that the judges would reject me at first sight. But my mother kept encouraging me to move forward.

One afternoon as we prepared for the Miss Photogenic portion of the contest, I went to the restroom, sat in one corner and started crying. Soon after, the modeling instructor came to the restroom and saw me weeping. She came and sat next to me.

“Why are you crying?” she said. I didn’t know how to explain how I felt.

“Common, tell me. Maybe I can help you.” She continued.

“I don’t think I’m good enough. I think the judges will reject me.”

“Who told you that?” She questioned.

Amidst tears, I summarized my auntie’s story.

“How long ago did your auntie tell you this nonsense?” She asked.

“About 7 years ago,” I answered.

She then held my hand and said, “Never let anyone’s perception of you determine how you should feel about yourself. You have the power to replace the bad things that people have said to you, with the good things that you want to feel about yourself.” She explained. These statements were like light bulbs in my mind. They helped me realize that in spite of what my auntie had told me, I still had the power to decide how I could feel about myself.

Rescued

The instructor helped me off the floor, quickly re-did my makeup and off to the stage, I went feeling much better about myself. And although I didn’t win the Miss photogenic contest, I felt energetic and hopeful that I would eventually love myself unconditionally. While I knew that this would take time, the instructor’s advice had laid a firm foundation for me to start changing my self-concept.

Over the years, and now as a counselor and transformational coach, I have referred to this story to continue empowering myself and also help my clients deal with rejection-related insecurities. And I always remember what Dr. Wayne Dyer once said; “it is not the snake bite that kills a person; it’s the venom.” This means that it’s not what people say to you that affect you; it’s how you interpret it.

In part 2 of this article, I will share the 4 proven tools that I used to regain my confidence and develop a healthier self-esteem.

Love and light

www.tapthegood.com

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I know What you are Going Through:


6 Steps to Retrieve Sustainable Success:

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It is common that whenever we are experiencing some discomforts in our lives, we state that “we are going” through some stuff. What is so great about the previous statement are the words “going through.” This implies that we are resolving the prevailing issues and moving towards our desired futures. However, it is easier said than done. “Going through” things for some people, might mean “going through a numbing process.” And what I mean by “numbing” is when people are investing in the denial process—where our negative emotions and fears are stored in ignorance of the consequences. What is depressing about this process is that these negative emotions never go away. We have to do the work to dissolve the negative emotions, and/or negative programming before we can be able to install the good inner stuff.

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Below, are six steps that will help you start letting go of the unwanted programming in order to install new positive inner programs that will upgrade your live.

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  1. List three self-limiting beliefs that you have about yourself.

  2. List three self-limiting beliefs that you have about money, success and/or your business?

  3. List three reasons why you think these self-limiting beliefs are serving you.

  4. List five reasons why you should let go of these beliefs.

  5. Explain how you think you will feel when you let go of these beliefs.

  6. Read the answers to question 5 every morning and evening for the next 5 days.

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Remember that the mindsets that land us in the messes we find ourselves into, can never be the mindsets that get us out. We have to let go of who we are for who we want to become. We have to make the changes, or our situations will stay the same. Fortunately, we have the power of choice to tap into in order to either upgrade, or retard our lives.

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I also understand that counseling and success coaching can be expensive: Reason as to why I have put together an online Life Liberation and Success Coaching program, discounted to help as many people as possible; easy to use in the comfort of your home, and most importantly, affordable.

If you are ready to heal your life, THE TIME IS NOW. Click on the button below to access more details about the program. http://tapthegood.com/business-intelligence-mastermind/

Scroll to the end of the middle column on the page, and give yourself the permission to change your life by signing up.

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If you have questions, I am only an email away.

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Trainer, S. Counselor / Certified Success Coach

www.tapthegood.com

author@tapthegood.com

Three Ways to Inspire yourself:


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The year is ending. Bills are most probably accumulating. Membership renewals are due. The expenses are increasing, yet your income is the same. In situations like these, stress and/or worry become the order of the mind. It’s hard to avoid negative emotions.
Below are three ways to inspire yourself and see things on a brighter spectrum.

1. Clean and organize your closet. Gather all clothes and shoes that you haven’t worn for the last 6 months, and give them away
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2. Listen to your favorite music. Music has been known to soothe the mind.
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3. Have a candle light bath. This is physically and emotional soothing.
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I hope this helps.
Looking for a good inspirational book to read? Check out Do Not Force It, Tap The Good. The book shares lessons that the whole world can live by.
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Love and light
Dr. Jacinta Mariah
Author, Speaker, Counselor / Success Coach
http://www.tapthegood.com
author@tapthegood.com

Five Steps to Help you Stop Procrastinating and then Take Action.


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So, you have a brilliant idea, product or project that you’ve been evaluating, analyzing, and consistently re-thinking about. You’ve probably taken a lot of time establishing all the reasons why you can’t take action.

In your mind, you are 100% certain about everything that could go wrong. You have basically employed yourself as the biggest block towards achieving your desired goals.

The following five proven steps will help you get started.

Step 1: Establish what you want to achieve out of your goal.

This should be something internal, a feeling or state of being that you will achieve when you realize your goal. This process will help you get in touch with your internal benefits connected to achieving the goal. In this step, you are encouraged to explain how you will feel when you achieve the goal.

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Step 2. Write down 10 reasons why you haven’t taken action.

Please don’t think about all the reasons why you don’t have any reasons that prevent you from taking action. At times we have so many excuses to the extent of developing more excuses to justify our excuses.

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Step 3. Write down 20 reasons why you should take action.

By establishing more reasons to take action than not to, you dispel the later reasons. This process will also help you to tap into the reasons why you set your goal.

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Step 4: Establish the first step you are going to take towards achieving your goal.

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Step 5. Take ACTION.

Start small. Take one step at a time. Be consistent, and stay focused.

I’m a Certified Holistic Life / Business Coach and Counselor. If you want a more personalized session to establish what is holding you back and how you can proceed to achieve your goals, contact me for a free 30 minutes phone or Skype session.

Remember, nothing changes, when we don’t change.

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 Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mariah

author@tapthegood.com, www.tapthegood.com

The Source of Inventions: An excerpt from the Book: Do Not Force It, Tap The Good


crazy-inventions

Inventions are available to each of us if we open up our minds to them. It is both simple and exciting. If you want to come up with a new idea or service, begin focusing entirely on everything you do. As you go about your day, if you feel uncomfortable about anything you are doing, stop. Begin thinking about ways, means, or products that would have made your activity more comfortable or enjoyable to do.

Inventions

An invention is the gap between the uncomfortable and comfortable levels. That is how cell phones were made, to bridge the gap between the discomfort of having to look for someone all over the place, and the comfort of just picking up the phone and reaching them wherever they are.

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The next thing to do is search the Internet for any similar products or services that you think can bridge the identified gap. If there are none, then you have an invention. That idea right there is what you can turn into a mega product or service. The only work for you to do is to develop the confidence in the idea and pursue it limitlessly without letting anyone or anything discourage you. Remember, if you want it bad enough, you will get it.

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Love and Light