How Language Can Trigger Discriminatory Behavior


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One of the ways through which we make others feel discriminated is by the things we say, and/or how we say them. At times we might say certain things without even intending to offend others. However, if we say these things to someone who has already been discriminated or one who is aware of implied bias, we might trigger discriminatory and/or resentful behavior.

“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” – James Humes

Let me explain.

         “Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.” – Cesar Chavez

Let’s imagine that you are the only white man/woman in a large group of black people. In that scenario, it is very clear that you are the odd-man out. You definitely stand out in that crowd. Furthermore, everyone in the group recognizes this fact although they don’t say it. However, let’s imagine that someone in the group addresses you as, “Hey white man/woman, what have you been up to?” How would you feel? If you’ve never experienced discrimination you might deem this as funny. However, let’s imagine that you’ve been racially discriminated in the past, how would this statement make you feel? Chances are that you will feel uncomfortable. You will feel isolated. You will immediately develop a resentful attitude to protect yourself from any possible negative experiences with group. If you are not strong enough, you will walk away from the group. They may call you sensitive, but the fact is the person who referred to you as “white” was insensitive or maybe unaware of how language can promote discriminatory behavior.

How can we prevent this from happening?

    “A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” – William Arthur Ward

We can all be conscious of what we say, and think before we speak. In a group with people who are different from us, we should make sure that we do not use words that isolate the minority. We should avoid calling others by their skin color, race or religious background. For instance, we should never call someone by using statements such as, “White man/woman, black person, and African man/woman, Muslim or Christian.”

There might be incidents where the minority do not understand what the majority are saying because of a common slung used in that race, social class or religious group. We should then explain what we mean without coming off as being more intelligent.

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These are very simple tips but if ignored can be the foundation of discriminative tendencies, or resentment. Remember, language can create or destroy. Therefore we must be cautious about what we say. We must be kind to each other considering that although we are different, we are like apples and oranges: although they are different, they are all fruits. Likewise, we are all humans.

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Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA is a Counselor, Transformational Coach, published author and professional speaker who speaks on the subject of Diversity. For more about her, please visit her website at http://www.tapthegood.com. orhttps://speakerhub.com/speaker/dr-jacinta-mpalyenkana?b=s

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Are You 100% Free to Be What You Want to Be?


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Some philosophers have argued that we are not totally free to be who want to be. What we think is freedom is merely being free to express ourselves as predetermined by our earlier and continuous programming. Due to the fact that being free means being happy and content with wherever and whatever one is, we tend to mistake settling for what is available, for authentic contentment. We forget that if we are unaware of other realities we have nothing to compare with. As such we regard our present reality as the real deal. Furthermore, because we are deeply programmed to believe and be a certain way, we conclude that this is the best we can be or do. We settle for beliefs  and lives that are not organically our own. 

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For instance, as I child, I was told, and I believed that if a woman rode a bike they would never get married. Because riding a bike compromised being feminine. Today, I’m still struggling to learn how to ride a bike–upon discovering that getting married has nothing to do with riding a bike. 🙂 
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That’s one of many beliefs that I was exposed to as a child, and I have had to examine, question and change my beliefs every so often in order to discover if they are regressing or progressing me.

The question is: Which of your beliefs are promoting your life?

Note that it takes more than wishful thinking to examine all our beliefs in order to originate beliefs and ways of living that are organically our own. Note that everytime someone starts questioning the general status quo, they are isolated, rejected if not killed. They are thrown out of the crowd. Think about people like, Martin Luther King, Jr, Jesus, the Christ–to mention a few.

So, if you want to create a reality that is organically your own, you have to step away from the crowds, follow your bliss and inner guidance, question everything, be open to everything, yet attached to nothing. You also have to be willing to be alone in order to find your authentic-self.  However, the benefits are inexhaustible. 

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In this video, I discuss this concept in detail. 

Link to VIDEO – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNgNA0oyGHM

Please share your thoughts. 

If you are seeking for a spiritual speaker to speak about “What it Means to be Free”, or  a counselor/coach who will work with you in examining your current reality and creating an organic one based on your authentic-self, please send me an email at tapthegood@gmail.com

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana.Ph.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, Transformational Coach, Published author and Professional speaker. For more about her, visit http://www.tapthegood.com

Can I charge More?


Many business owners struggle with decisions to increase the prices of their products or services–or even set up prices that reflect on the value that they provide.

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Have you ever doubted or felt uncomfortable about increasing the prices of your products or services? What has this got to do with your self-esteem and confidence?

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In this short video, I give a few good tips that can be helpful.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/MLVln4szh5Q

Questions:

  1. Are you struggling with setting the right price for your products or services?
  2. Do you feel uncomfortable about raising your prices to match the value that your services or products provide?

I have a resource for you. Visit my website at http://www.tapthegood.com, fill in the contact form, and you will be signed up for a 30 minutes COMPLIMENTARY session guaranteed to benefit you and your business.

Remember, nothing happens if nothing moves. It’s up to you to move. 🙂

Love and light.

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

Author, Speaker, Success Coach

tapthegood.com

6 Questions to ask Before you Speak on Any Stage.


Being a Professional Speaker requires of us to be organized, captivating, and most importantly, memorable. However, before we achieve the preceding goals, preparation is paramount. If we don’t take care of the small things that one could consider irrelevant, chances are that we won’t achieve our speaker-objectives. 

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Below are some questions I have asked myself before I go on any stage. And don’t get me wrong; I’ve learned the hard way. I hope you can take advantage of the questions.

  1. Are you clear about who is in the audience and their connection to our organization?

  2. Do you know  how long you have to Speak?

  3. Do you need a signal to wrap up your talk?

  4. Do you have all the equipment and aids you need to deliver your talk?

  5. Have you met the person who will be introducing you?

  6. Will  you be taking questions from the audience?

If you are looking for a nation-wide Inspirational and Personal Development Speaker, please check out my website at http://tapthegood.com/speaking/ to learn more about my speaking services. Please send me an email at author@tapthegood.com

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

http://www.tapthegood.com

http://tapthegood.com/speaking/