Are You 100% Free to Be What You Want to Be?


Freedom 6

Some philosophers have argued that we are not totally free to be who want to be. What we think is freedom is merely being free to express ourselves as predetermined by our earlier and continuous programming. Due to the fact that being free means being happy and content with wherever and whatever one is, we tend to mistake settling for what is available, for authentic contentment. We forget that if we are unaware of other realities we have nothing to compare with. As such we regard our present reality as the real deal. Furthermore, because we are deeply programmed to believe and be a certain way, we conclude that this is the best we can be or do. We settle for beliefs  and lives that are not organically our own. 

self-limiting

For instance, as I child, I was told, and I believed that if a woman rode a bike they would never get married. Because riding a bike compromised being feminine. Today, I’m still struggling to learn how to ride a bike–upon discovering that getting married has nothing to do with riding a bike. 🙂 
Limiting-Beliefs

That’s one of many beliefs that I was exposed to as a child, and I have had to examine, question and change my beliefs every so often in order to discover if they are regressing or progressing me.

The question is: Which of your beliefs are promoting your life?

Note that it takes more than wishful thinking to examine all our beliefs in order to originate beliefs and ways of living that are organically our own. Note that everytime someone starts questioning the general status quo, they are isolated, rejected if not killed. They are thrown out of the crowd. Think about people like, Martin Luther King, Jr, Jesus, the Christ–to mention a few.

So, if you want to create a reality that is organically your own, you have to step away from the crowds, follow your bliss and inner guidance, question everything, be open to everything, yet attached to nothing. You also have to be willing to be alone in order to find your authentic-self.  However, the benefits are inexhaustible. 

freedom 4

In this video, I discuss this concept in detail. 

Link to VIDEO – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNgNA0oyGHM

Please share your thoughts. 

If you are seeking for a spiritual speaker to speak about “What it Means to be Free”, or  a counselor/coach who will work with you in examining your current reality and creating an organic one based on your authentic-self, please send me an email at tapthegood@gmail.com

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana.Ph.D., MBA, is a Spiritual Counselor, Transformational Coach, Published author and Professional speaker. For more about her, visit http://www.tapthegood.com

Advertisements

Changing Negative Stories to Attract Money–With EFT and Ho’oponopono


In the interim, love and light.

Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

Spiritual Counselor, Coach, Speaker, Author

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

The Poison of the Mind & How to banish It.


Fear3

> What do you think is the most powerful poison of your mind

> What do you think gets in the way of you taking action

> Well, it’s yours to find out my views on the same in this video

Link to the video – https://youtu.be/Nn9VXrz0zvk

In the interim, I wish you and your family a glamorous holiday season filled with wonders, love and miracles. 

Don’t forget to sign up for my upcoming seminar scheduled for February 10th, 2018, a full day event intended to help you get in touch with your inner world in order to be the master of your outer world. 

Link to the event – https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-mind-spirit-rebirth-and-rejuvenation-seasonal-seminar-tickets-40745783736

Remember: “It is only when we take control of, and master the whole of inner worlds that we can change our outer worlds for the better.”

love-and-light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

Author, Spiritual Counselor, Coach, Trainer, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

It is Time to Surrender – 3 Proven Psychological Steps to Help you Surrender


Are you attached to a desire or goal and finding it hard to surrender to the process?

Does your passion/desire for your goal stress you out?

Are you worried that you might not achieve your goal?

Well, maybe it is time to surrender. And to do so, I have recorded this VIDEO with 3 proven psychological tools to help you detach from your goal, and instead focus on the goals as you also enjoy every moment of the process.

I know this will help.

Link to video – https://youtu.be/F2qpkBwEtqs

Please do not forget to share with friends or family who might need these tips.

Love and light.

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA

Author, Spiritual Counselor, Corporate Trainer, Speaker

http://www.tapthegood.com

 

 

Four Tips to Deal with Rejection: Part 2:


In part 1 of this article, “How to Deal with Rejection – based on a personal story”, I shared a personal story about one of my childhood experiences of rejection. I’m certain that you or someone you know has gone through similar or maybe even worse experiences.

In this article, I share 4 tips that helped me deal with rejection and build a healthier self-esteem. And although I appreciate the fact that your experiences or those of your loved ones might be different, I’m also certain that anyone will be able to customize these tips and make them their own in order to resolve any rejection related emotional issues that they might be experiencing.

Tip 1: Know That no one can Reject You.

As weird as it might sound, believe me when I say that no one can actually reject you. One of the meanings of rejection is to be eliminated. And in my opinion, no one can eliminate you per-say. One might eliminate your presence from a scene, or disregard what you say, but he/she can never eliminate your existence. Chances are that what you perceive as rejection is an incident where someone probably did not resonate with, understand, or agree with whatever you were presenting or offering. However, with all due respect, this doesn’t mean that the entire awesome you was discarded.

Therefore, the first tip you can employ to deal with rejection-related emotions is to change your perception of the word, rejection and how it applies to you as an individual.

No one can reject you

Tip 2: Know that People’s Actions are Their Business.

As you deal with the rejection-related emotions, understand that perception is projection. Behavior is founded on internal representations: meaning that people behave as they have learned to, based on their beliefs and thought processes, mental, emotional and spiritual states. Everyone is doing the best they can with the internal resources they have. I’m sure you’ve heard the statement, “squeeze an orange and you get orange juice.” When someone is filled with anger, sadness or whatever other emotions that they might have, that’s exactly what’s going to come out of them as they perceive the world, as well as act. Therefore, if someone rejects something about you, this has nothing to do with you. It is their business. That’s how they know how to operate. Note that at that point in time, your presence or whatever they rejected triggered a decision within them to reject. Consequently, you can’t take things personally. And most importantly, you have to forgive them for their actions because they probably didn’t even realize that there was anything wrong with the way they acted. Just as you can’t expect mango juice to come out of an orange, you can’t expect a person filled with rudeness or anger to treat you with kindness or non-judgment.

If my actions dont concern you
Tip 3: Take 100% Responsibility Of Your Emotions:

When we take full responsibility of our negative emotions, we take our power back from whoever we have blamed for the way we feel. By taking full responsibility for the rejection-related negative emotions, we get to understand that no one has the power to make us feel a certain way; and that we have the power to heal ourselves. This process begins by identifying all those negative emotions that you are feeling. Write them down. Examine each one of them to identify the root causes. Establish if the root causes are really based on truths. For instance, if one of the negative related emotions you are dealing with is sadness, the root cause is what the person said or did, that made you believe that you are a reject. When you examine tip 1, you realize that you are not really a reject. Tip 2, is telling you that whatever the person did is not your business. Consequently, your perceptions are not founded on the truth. You are not a reject. Therefore, you just have to let the sadness go because it is built on lies.

The next step is to forgive yourself for being sad for the wrong reasons. Here’s a link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGUjtMRS_5k) with a forgiveness process that I recorded a few years ago. To access the link, please copy and paste the link in a new browser, then click “enter.”

You are your hell

Tip 4: Know That You Can Create a New And Better Story About Your Self-Image

The thoughts and related beliefs about being rejection are founded on a story you created based on an experience that you believed to be the truth. Note that just as you created this story, you also have the power to erase it and then create a new and better story about how you want to feel about yourself. You can do this by thinking about how you want to perceive your self-image. Decide how you want to be perceived. Write these attributes down. Read them to yourself every day until you believe them as the truth. For instance, you can write statements such; I accept and love myself just as I am. I am worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I respect myself—you get the idea. The fundamental thing to do is to think and believe these statements as the truth. And by doing this, you will be writing a better story that will improve your perception of yourself.
create a new story
Please note that although these tips are simplified, they helped me deal with my rejection-related negative emotions and I believe they can help you or anyone else. The idea is to make the tips your own, do the work on yourself, and remember that persistence and repetition are necessary ingredients required to establish and reinforce desired change.

The author is Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA. She’s an author, speaker, counselor and transformational coach. For more about her, please check out her website at www.tapthegood.com

Looking for a good inspirational book to empower and inspire you? Look no further. Click HERE to read THE book. 

High Resolution Front Cover.3594241

 

EFT Session to Get Unstuck From an Abusive Relationship


Do you feel stuck in a relationship that makes you feel like buying a big rope and tying it around your neck?

In this EFT RECORDED SESSION, I take you through a process to release your grip on any abusive relationship you may be involved in–whether it’s a job, friendship or love.

LINK to video – https://youtu.be/_zlrg7jBNh8

Freedom

If there are any issues that you would like me to deal with using EFT, psychology or Hooponopono, please include the details in the comments.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

freedom_quote_2

Love and light

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D., MBA

http://www.tapthegood.com

How to Connect to The Right Friends


As a teenager, connecting to the right friends was one of my biggest challenges.

I grew up with my mom in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda, and my mom was very strict about how we chose friends since most of our neighbor’s teenagers had become pregnant, escaped from their homes and/or got involved in other inappropriate activities. I disliked my mom. In my little mind, I thought she was blocking my freedom to have as many friends as I wanted. But as an adult now, I appreciate her a lot. It is because of her strategies to keep us safe from the turbulent environment in which we were in, that I and my siblings were able to complete school without getting into trouble.

By following some of the strategies that I learned from my mom, and some as a transformational coach, I’ve been able to connect to and choose the right friends over the years.

Here are some of the tips that you can use to connect to the right friends.

1. Become your own best friend.
Before you can understand what friendship really means, you have to love and appreciate everything about yourself, including your flaws. You have to be your own best friend. If you don’t like yourself, you will always look for validation from your friends to define who you are. And that will be disappointing because no one has the power to define who you should be, or how you should feel about yourself. It’s up to each one of us to determine who we should be, and how we should feel. Therefore, be your best friend first, such that when you connect to friends, you are not looking for validation. You love yourself as you are.

your best friend

2. Define what friendship means to you.
It is extremely important to establish what you want to achieve from whatever you do. It’s about being purposeful. Defining what friendship means to you implies that you establish what you expect from friends; what they should expect from you as a friend, and what you will not tolerate from them. This also means that you have to develop personal values and standards below which you won’t be anyone’s friend. For instance; since you are already your own best friend, you have to know how to be friendly to yourself. This means that you respect your body by eating the right foods; you exercise and do not indulge in anything that would abuse your body—such as drugs and/or immature sex. You keep your word. You communicate clearly about what you want and don’t want, assertively. You respect your parents/elders. You keep your environment clean and safe. In a nutshell, you love yourself. As a result, you seek to connect with friends who also love themselves and most importantly, friends who will not negatively affect your self-love. They respect and appreciate who you are. They don’t try to influence you, except if it is for positive change.

high_standards

3. Become friendly.
If you want to connect to friends you have to be friendly. This means that you don’t make judgments about others because of their looks, origin, social group or religion. You communicate to others freely and attentively as you take the time to examine if these people also love themselves. You become present with people—meaning that you listen attentively to everyone you meet before you determine if that person could be a friend.

I believe that if you embrace these tips, or even add other personal tips that you’ve learned, you will be able to connect to good friends.

become friendly

Article also shared on teenmentor.com

http://www.tapthegood.com

Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, PH.D., MBA

Author, Transformational Coach, and Speaker.