When You are Always apologizing for who you are:

1. Are you one of those people who tend to annoy almost everyone you interact with?
2. Do you ask questions that rub off people the wrong way?
3. Do you find yourself always apologizing for what you said, or didn’t say?

If you answered yes, to any of the above questions, welcome to my club. Apparently, I’m a very inquisitive person, which is why I always ask questions to understand what others are saying and to avoid jumping to conclusions. However, I have had people get offended by either the questions I have asked or how I have asked them. And the interesting fact is that I never went out of my way to offend anyone. I realized one common trait with those I offended…they didn’t communicate to me directly about how I offended them: they sent someone else. Why? I don’t know and honestly, I don’t want to know. And in the beginning, I hurt like crazy because I knew that my intentions are never negative, yet I was always misinterpreted or judged by just a single question or comment I made. I was always apologizing, and then without even thinking, I would do something else that offended the very person I had apologized to. I just couldn’t win. I was always wrong. This went on until I realized the following facts that liberated my emotions from turmoil. Firstly I realized that my mental health was not about other people’s behavior, it is always about how I feel. Therefore, it is my business to sustain my emotional and mental wellbeing.

“Your emotional health is not about other people’s behavior: it is always about how you feel.” Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana-Murray

1. I don’t have control over anyone’s emotions.
2. I can only be myself–do the best I can in the most honest and humble way I can.
3. Everyone sees the world as they are, not as it is. So everyone sees me as they are not as I express–because perception is projection.
4. My responsibility is to be kind, honest and compassionate. It is not my responsibility to make anyone happy or feel secure in themselves.
5. If someone feels offended by me, but fails to communicate their concerns, that’s on them. I am not a mind reader.
6. I have to be secure in my skin and don’t let other people’s opinions about me affect me.
7. I am not my mind, thoughts, experiences or emotions. I am a divine instrument created in the same image of God. So, I repeat this truth severally to snap out of the habit of believing my negative thoughts to be true.
8. I should never try to understand people’s behavior, especially those who are not paying me as their therapist. I should instead pay attend to my own inner world activity and make sure it is in alignment with the truth that, nothing is permanent regardless of its intensity.
9. I accept and love myself unconditionally, well knowing that the Lord (the Universe) is my shepherd, and as long as my intentions are clear of ego-based intentions, no weapon formed against me shall prosper.
10. I would rather be hated for being true to myself, than be loved for being fake.
11. Last but not least, greater is He that is in me that he that is of the world.

I hope the proceeding pointers help you navigate your way around life especially if you are different from most of the people you meet. And always remember that it is magical to be different. You are not a cow or goat that’s susceptible to control and submission to anyone. You are the child of a king…aka…God.

Love and light

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